I once read this book...

[beltacular]

And for the life of me, I can't remember which this was. But in the book, there is a passage about a woman who is pregnant, and how she always cries after the birth. Not because of postpartum, but because the child she has, while wonderful, has ended the life or child she imaged in her mind. If you have a girl, you see this child in your arms, and you think about her wedding and the bows she will wear and the boys she will date. but that means the boy you had imagined, the one who played soccer and loved his mother and secretly read mystery novels in his bedroom late at night is dead. He is no longer this future that you can have. And as much as you love this new child in your arms, you have this grief for this future you could have had.

I feel like the same could be applied to marriage. As much as I love my fiance, and imagine our life together, when we get married, it will be the end of something. Of my possibilities, of all the lives I could have lived but no longer can.

Call me a terrible person, but that loss makes me a little sad.