(no subject)
If i had to describe how I've felt of late, it would be angry. Yes, wall punching, book throwing, bile inducing angry.
This is not how my senior year should be going. I should not be this off kilter, this stressed, this lonely. I hate it. its like the rug has been ripped out from under me, and while I was falling, someone pushed a boulder on me. Everything I knew from last year, the past two years, maybe even three, is just completely gone. I feel like I'm starting over again and I hate it. I can't hang out with my friends- I have to sneak around to see my best friend so people don't think we are secretly having sex, and I can't do all the things I did every week last year- wed hookah nights, beer die tuesdays, tuesday date nights, greek watching parties. It sucks. And half my friends pet me on the head like I'm a bruised puppy and another group won't even look at me the same...I just want my friends back. I want my place back. And its so fucking unfair that only I have to deal with this. Wouldn't it be great for senior year I could just have fun and didn't have to worry about anything??
This is not how my senior year should be going. I should not be this off kilter, this stressed, this lonely. I hate it. its like the rug has been ripped out from under me, and while I was falling, someone pushed a boulder on me. Everything I knew from last year, the past two years, maybe even three, is just completely gone. I feel like I'm starting over again and I hate it. I can't hang out with my friends- I have to sneak around to see my best friend so people don't think we are secretly having sex, and I can't do all the things I did every week last year- wed hookah nights, beer die tuesdays, tuesday date nights, greek watching parties. It sucks. And half my friends pet me on the head like I'm a bruised puppy and another group won't even look at me the same...I just want my friends back. I want my place back. And its so fucking unfair that only I have to deal with this. Wouldn't it be great for senior year I could just have fun and didn't have to worry about anything??