Nov 01, 2005 09:24
I dont think I've ever been so unsure of myself in my entire life. I tend to have some kind of plan worked out no matter what, but as of late there is none. All I know is that I am not coming back to USC in the spring and I have to find a real job, or one that pays more than Tripps. I think I'll go to tech after that and take some bullshit classes which may or may not help me in determining what I would like to do with my life. I am failing yet another class and tend to forget major deadlines in every other one. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I need to get back into therapy. Really soon.
My birthday is in a month and day and I am not excited in the least. 2o years spent fucking up and letting go of opportunities. It's my own damn fault I am stuck here. I did it to myself and no matter how much I try to blame other people or situations, I had a chance to leave and I decided to stay.
My mom isn't talking to me. For real. Not just another scream fest and we're ok the next day, she's really not speaking to me.
Awesome.