only 46 minuates and 86 seconds, but whos counting
i have so many things to say but i have no effort to put them into a context where people can relate. i just wish that i could express myself with more thought, but at the moment im so confused. i ran into some people last night and it stirred up so many old memories, that i wish could of kept in the past. i hate feeling uncomfortable or unworthy. in my mind, one night can change your life. even though it was over a year ago, i remember all the little details. what a dirty little past. i moved on for a while, but i always seem to run into him. fuck it. i will make myself sick if i think about it too much. i had moved on, found someone i was in love with. i was in love for over a year, that turned out like shit. i guess im ready to start something completely new. something or someone completely unrelated. looks like ive already messed that one up. i should have a sign around my neck saying "with me its impossible to win" just so they know what they are getting themselves into. i know i shouldnt feel sorry about myself if thats how it sounds. samiah is attempting to turn me into an optimist. as depressing all of this sounds, it kind of has a bitter sweetness to it.