Thoughts that are running ramped through my mind......
The Great Deseption:
This is killing me inside. I know what am, who I am and I am not what you see. I hate pretending. I hate to lead everyone to think that I have it all togeather; when in fact I am so beyond messed up it's not even funny. There are things that I honestly don't think anyone but Me and God will understand about my life, and that is okay, but what would you say? what would you think? what would you do? if You really knew. There are so many things that i don't say when I: smile, laugh, talk, and when I say nothing at all. I want so badly to let them out but i can't put them into words because there are no words for what My life has been and still is sometimes.
Overall I can be suronded by people day in and day out and i feel alone. so alone that it physicaly hurts. I feel numb by pain that has come and gone throughout the years. I wonder sometimes if I'm really alive or if this is all a dream/nightmare that I will never wake up from. I feel empty sometimes like ther is nothing left, nothing worth fighting for, nothing to hold on to, just this big nothing in side but yet it's filled with so much: bitterness, anger, pain, and the list can go on for lines. This nothingness is burdening me, it's smothering me, it's killing me slowly, it consumes my mind daily and steals my joy and peace.
Prayer and Confessions:
I don't know what to do anymore,
I'm losing grip of you,
I'm tiered of fighting,
I'm lonley and in need of you,
Your love is distant.
I can't feel it through all the chains,
Cold and heavy chains,
Chains everywhere.
I can't escape,
I've lost the key.
Help me, Please help me.
Where is MY KEY.
I need You My Key,
You're the only key that can unlock all of this:
Hatered, sorrow, bitterness, pain.... sin.
I need you.
I need something to hold on to,
something to belive in again,
not any miricale,
just the miricale.
just a key....
Just THE KEY.
Wandering ever closer to the edge,
~Trizah
P.S. I thought of you again today and for the first time I realized I missed you.
This is killing me inside. I know what am, who I am and I am not what you see. I hate pretending. I hate to lead everyone to think that I have it all togeather; when in fact I am so beyond messed up it's not even funny. There are things that I honestly don't think anyone but Me and God will understand about my life, and that is okay, but what would you say? what would you think? what would you do? if You really knew. There are so many things that i don't say when I: smile, laugh, talk, and when I say nothing at all. I want so badly to let them out but i can't put them into words because there are no words for what My life has been and still is sometimes.
Overall I can be suronded by people day in and day out and i feel alone. so alone that it physicaly hurts. I feel numb by pain that has come and gone throughout the years. I wonder sometimes if I'm really alive or if this is all a dream/nightmare that I will never wake up from. I feel empty sometimes like ther is nothing left, nothing worth fighting for, nothing to hold on to, just this big nothing in side but yet it's filled with so much: bitterness, anger, pain, and the list can go on for lines. This nothingness is burdening me, it's smothering me, it's killing me slowly, it consumes my mind daily and steals my joy and peace.
Prayer and Confessions:
I don't know what to do anymore,
I'm losing grip of you,
I'm tiered of fighting,
I'm lonley and in need of you,
Your love is distant.
I can't feel it through all the chains,
Cold and heavy chains,
Chains everywhere.
I can't escape,
I've lost the key.
Help me, Please help me.
Where is MY KEY.
I need You My Key,
You're the only key that can unlock all of this:
Hatered, sorrow, bitterness, pain.... sin.
I need you.
I need something to hold on to,
something to belive in again,
not any miricale,
just the miricale.
just a key....
Just THE KEY.
Wandering ever closer to the edge,
~Trizah
P.S. I thought of you again today and for the first time I realized I missed you.