They always run at the first sign of emotions
I know I'm not entirely open with people but I do wish that when I seem upset that the people I'm talking to at that moment would show some concern..... I guess I just expect too much of people sometimes...... I don't like playing councler to my friends and then seeing them run away at the first sign of emotions..... because heaven forbid I get emotional!
I was talking to a friend last night and it was tring and uplifiting at the same time.
I really miss siting outside under the stars talking to you and I also miss the way it was your house or mine for the gang to go hang out.... i miss the 12am and 3am drive way chats.
My friend is going through hell right now but he is still hangging on to God and chasing him like never before; but the hell he and his Girlfriend are going through is killing me..... I just don't understand.
God you are more than good you are a holy and righteous God but please explain to me How a holy and righteous God allows childern to be beat and worse.... I know you have her in your hands and that she has gone through this for a reason and if nothing else to strengthen her faith in you but God, Please let her find saftey, let her find peace, please stop allowing these things to happen to her, please put someone in her life to stop all of this.... it isn't right and it isn't of you, INTERVENE for Your sake God save this girl.
I enjoy talking to my friends and I find peace and joy as we all encourage each other but selfish friends who take and take are wearing me down and wearing me down quickly.
God I want to be there for my friends I want to help them grow closer to you but not at the cost of tiering myself out to where i can't move forward.... I want relationships where I can grow with my friends no matter their relationship with you... as long as we are all growing togeather towards you.... I want a community of friends.
My theology class is testing my patience and my sanity......
I feel so overwhelmed in that class.... i also feel entierly stupid..... I don't get any of it.... okay well I get some of it.... I wish I understood more but then again.... I really could care less.... theology seems to make faith so very complecated..... God did you intend for our faith to be this complecated..... why can't it just be simpler..... or would a simpler faith not be faith?
I wound up going for a walk in the cold dead night and there was more warmth there in that walk than I have felt in a long time.... but that was probabley the tears steaming down my cheecks.... I guess in the rush of life yesturday I let go of something important.... I guess I allowed it.....
Lord I miss my friend.... i miss my prayer warrior.... I miss him and it makes my heart hurt... but you gave me peace about his death.... but last night the enemy stole my peace and poked at those wounds..... God that was a low blow.... why did you let them hit me like that.... I wasn't expecting it and well I guess I had alomost forgotten he was physicaly dead...... did you allow the enemy to strike at my heart to remind me of the pain and jelousey I hold against him.... He left and got to go home before me.... is it so worng to wish it was me that got to go home instead of him.... is it so worng to begrudge him his death?
ah yes but i'm a silly girl who doesn't realise she can't change what has been and she can't raise the dead
I do have to say though i love random complements and I love to be noticed....
my deepest desier is to be desireable
"you have sunshine in you girl don't lose that because when you smile the sun shines bright" ~ a stranger
God I need to talk to you.... will you come meet me.... any where I'll let you pick..... you can even come meet me in the quiet dark places of my soul where I like to hide sometimes...... anytime you are ready I'm waiting
~Beloved
I was talking to a friend last night and it was tring and uplifiting at the same time.
I really miss siting outside under the stars talking to you and I also miss the way it was your house or mine for the gang to go hang out.... i miss the 12am and 3am drive way chats.
My friend is going through hell right now but he is still hangging on to God and chasing him like never before; but the hell he and his Girlfriend are going through is killing me..... I just don't understand.
God you are more than good you are a holy and righteous God but please explain to me How a holy and righteous God allows childern to be beat and worse.... I know you have her in your hands and that she has gone through this for a reason and if nothing else to strengthen her faith in you but God, Please let her find saftey, let her find peace, please stop allowing these things to happen to her, please put someone in her life to stop all of this.... it isn't right and it isn't of you, INTERVENE for Your sake God save this girl.
I enjoy talking to my friends and I find peace and joy as we all encourage each other but selfish friends who take and take are wearing me down and wearing me down quickly.
God I want to be there for my friends I want to help them grow closer to you but not at the cost of tiering myself out to where i can't move forward.... I want relationships where I can grow with my friends no matter their relationship with you... as long as we are all growing togeather towards you.... I want a community of friends.
My theology class is testing my patience and my sanity......
I feel so overwhelmed in that class.... i also feel entierly stupid..... I don't get any of it.... okay well I get some of it.... I wish I understood more but then again.... I really could care less.... theology seems to make faith so very complecated..... God did you intend for our faith to be this complecated..... why can't it just be simpler..... or would a simpler faith not be faith?
I wound up going for a walk in the cold dead night and there was more warmth there in that walk than I have felt in a long time.... but that was probabley the tears steaming down my cheecks.... I guess in the rush of life yesturday I let go of something important.... I guess I allowed it.....
Lord I miss my friend.... i miss my prayer warrior.... I miss him and it makes my heart hurt... but you gave me peace about his death.... but last night the enemy stole my peace and poked at those wounds..... God that was a low blow.... why did you let them hit me like that.... I wasn't expecting it and well I guess I had alomost forgotten he was physicaly dead...... did you allow the enemy to strike at my heart to remind me of the pain and jelousey I hold against him.... He left and got to go home before me.... is it so worng to wish it was me that got to go home instead of him.... is it so worng to begrudge him his death?
ah yes but i'm a silly girl who doesn't realise she can't change what has been and she can't raise the dead
I do have to say though i love random complements and I love to be noticed....
my deepest desier is to be desireable
"you have sunshine in you girl don't lose that because when you smile the sun shines bright" ~ a stranger
God I need to talk to you.... will you come meet me.... any where I'll let you pick..... you can even come meet me in the quiet dark places of my soul where I like to hide sometimes...... anytime you are ready I'm waiting
~Beloved