how to BE defined?
****i also posted this on facebook***
so here i is.
i am throwing ideas around inside my head, and every now and again.....one hits the keys and becomes a note or the like.
I am pondering what it means to "be defined by God".
I can intellectually wrap around it,
but in a actual applicable- to -mindy- way --- what does it mean??!!
so far, I've discovered it means
taking a really hard and honest look at....well....none other than ME.
In order to be able to "let" God define me,
I want to make sure I know how I am currently defining myself.
Guess what I found?
That I define myself by what I do.
seems really obvious and obnoxiously simple.
But recently I saw that perhaps there has been a process to this whole thing:
In my trying to understand and relate to the personal God I claim I believe in, I realized that I was getting my worth from a myriad of things other than "Him".
I practically begged people to define me and give me the reasons for my worth.
And I also defined for myself the activities that defined my essence.
For me, this became choir, bible quizzing, some kind of sport activity, school, associating often with friends, and church involvement of diff kinds.
In the past year or two, a LOT of those have been removed.
I quit choir in order to further focus on my nursing academics.
I quit nursing and school altogether.
I quit associating with friends often when I moved out of nampa.
I greatly reduced my committment to church activities and limited them to only those on the day of sunday.
I only recently took up another sports activity after not having one since highschool.
So what has been happening is that I went thru a period where the things that defined me, were slowly removed or limited and I found myself floundering and struggling to figure out what to do with myself.....not to say that I'm completely thru that phrase---- its more like i'm far enough into it that I can see where I've been......
so now my ponderment is......if singing, church, friends, sports, academia and future goals no longer adequately "define me"........how does God?
I mean, what does that look or feel like or come about?
and the answer is: i don't know.
and i don't want a pat answer.
i'm soooooooooooo through with pat answers.
I still will love the people who think that those answers supply some kind of reality for others...but yeah.....i don't need any more of those kind...
so here i is.
i am throwing ideas around inside my head, and every now and again.....one hits the keys and becomes a note or the like.
I am pondering what it means to "be defined by God".
I can intellectually wrap around it,
but in a actual applicable- to -mindy- way --- what does it mean??!!
so far, I've discovered it means
taking a really hard and honest look at....well....none other than ME.
In order to be able to "let" God define me,
I want to make sure I know how I am currently defining myself.
Guess what I found?
That I define myself by what I do.
seems really obvious and obnoxiously simple.
But recently I saw that perhaps there has been a process to this whole thing:
In my trying to understand and relate to the personal God I claim I believe in, I realized that I was getting my worth from a myriad of things other than "Him".
I practically begged people to define me and give me the reasons for my worth.
And I also defined for myself the activities that defined my essence.
For me, this became choir, bible quizzing, some kind of sport activity, school, associating often with friends, and church involvement of diff kinds.
In the past year or two, a LOT of those have been removed.
I quit choir in order to further focus on my nursing academics.
I quit nursing and school altogether.
I quit associating with friends often when I moved out of nampa.
I greatly reduced my committment to church activities and limited them to only those on the day of sunday.
I only recently took up another sports activity after not having one since highschool.
So what has been happening is that I went thru a period where the things that defined me, were slowly removed or limited and I found myself floundering and struggling to figure out what to do with myself.....not to say that I'm completely thru that phrase---- its more like i'm far enough into it that I can see where I've been......
so now my ponderment is......if singing, church, friends, sports, academia and future goals no longer adequately "define me"........how does God?
I mean, what does that look or feel like or come about?
and the answer is: i don't know.
and i don't want a pat answer.
i'm soooooooooooo through with pat answers.
I still will love the people who think that those answers supply some kind of reality for others...but yeah.....i don't need any more of those kind...