(no subject)
Lately I've been dead. I get maybe 3-5 hours of sleep every night. I'm so exhausted and delirious I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.
So today after I got to school, I missed Sohpie immediately.
Sophie is the puppy I got for Nick to make up for his golden retriever that got ran over when he was five. But I don't think he wants it or can't have it or somethng like that so it's been living with my sister and me until we find a good home for it.
I finally saw Michael today. I got in trouble for impulsely just leaving but it had to be worth getting all the anxiety out. I missed him so much and when you only get to see a person like for 15-20 minutes, it doesn't really count as BEING with them, even so, I was estatic & I'm glad I went.
At work, I think it was Monday, I made a list of things "to do" and put 'get a planner' on it. I'm not a planner, I have never planned things in my life, EVER. Why would organization make the mess of a life I have work? I scratched it out like someone else had just written a huge mistake.
I see people I know on the road a lot, although I have very little road time. I wonder why they don't stop but just wave or honk. I mean I haven't seen some of these people in so long. No phone calls, no nothing -- but whatever they may be doing is considered too important to stop.
I don't like thinking about a lot of the past anymore. It's so worthless especially when the only good that comes out if it are the 'good times' which are also gone. But nothing's wrong, because nothing can't be perfect RIGHT NOW.
"...the safest course is to do nothing against one's conscience. With this secret, we can enjoy life and have no fear from death."
So today after I got to school, I missed Sohpie immediately.
Sophie is the puppy I got for Nick to make up for his golden retriever that got ran over when he was five. But I don't think he wants it or can't have it or somethng like that so it's been living with my sister and me until we find a good home for it.
I finally saw Michael today. I got in trouble for impulsely just leaving but it had to be worth getting all the anxiety out. I missed him so much and when you only get to see a person like for 15-20 minutes, it doesn't really count as BEING with them, even so, I was estatic & I'm glad I went.
At work, I think it was Monday, I made a list of things "to do" and put 'get a planner' on it. I'm not a planner, I have never planned things in my life, EVER. Why would organization make the mess of a life I have work? I scratched it out like someone else had just written a huge mistake.
I see people I know on the road a lot, although I have very little road time. I wonder why they don't stop but just wave or honk. I mean I haven't seen some of these people in so long. No phone calls, no nothing -- but whatever they may be doing is considered too important to stop.
I don't like thinking about a lot of the past anymore. It's so worthless especially when the only good that comes out if it are the 'good times' which are also gone. But nothing's wrong, because nothing can't be perfect RIGHT NOW.
"...the safest course is to do nothing against one's conscience. With this secret, we can enjoy life and have no fear from death."