And now you love him and your baby at last you are complete
Its been ages. Seriously. It is now 2010. I am a grown woman. A woman with a Baby Ethan and a Husband, Jonathan. Yes, That say boy whom I would cry over is now the father of my child the one I sleep next to every night. I am truly happy, my whole life just changed over night and even thought I have been on a roller coaster for the past years I think that it has finally crashed. I have found my place. I have found what I have been meaning to find. I have become what I was meant to become and that is a MOTHER. I am not perfect and I sin everyday. But I do not kill. I do not hate. Each day I try my best to be a good mother and that's all that really matters now. This is what I needed this is what saved my life. A blessing. I have no more bad thoughts in my mind no more sadness in my heart. I'm so full of love I can burst apart and start to cry. Everything that Jon and I have been through every little tiny thing has been for a reason weather its good bad or hott nights together our horrible break ups our wonderful make ups...I would do it over again. So what do I expect from life now? To live to wake up every fucking day and live for me for my son for my Jon. To spend every day together to cherish every holiday to make memories to watch my son play, smile, learn and grow. To be thankful for what I have done. To be proud of how great he will become. To walk tall and say "yes this is what I have done". Because nothing in the world can compare to the feelings that he makes me feel no high can ever meet the happiness that i feel to watch him laugh. So I will breathe in the air and take in the sun. I will bathe in the rain and lay in the grass, cheers to everyone and have faith in god.