(no subject)
Hello you. --sigh--
So how come you and I arent friends anymore. Have we grown apart that much over the past few months that we cant even chat every once in a while?
Pretty much, yea.
Alot has happened in my life since we last chatted. I've seen London. I've held my nephew. I've graduated from a university. I've climbed the stairs of happiness and heartache. I've moved into a home in a major city. I received an unofficial invitation to the wedding of the girl I loved most. I've used up almost all of my "last summer." I've ate, drank, slept, partied, swam, and explored. But yet through all of this, I have not reached for you...not once.
Now how could this be?
If there are only a few explanations as to why it is because life has become cyclical and reoccurring. The shock value of life has diminished to a point where if I am unable to find the answer for myself, it simply doesnt evolve to become a problem. Now either this means that I have no problems or I simply figure them out on my own. I've been in my own shoes for so long that living my own life is as simple as breathing. This might seem too literal in an obvious sense, but living my life was never an easy task. For any given situation that might warrant 100 questions, all I have to do is sit back and they just seem to answer themselves.
This also leads me to the avenue of whether or not I have reached the point where I could beat my clone in a chess match. Eric Nicholls has certainly become a concrete product. So many of my habits and actions are so calculated to myself now that I can nearly predict the future course of events in regards to my own actions. And now I watch myself as a subject in the same sense as I have looked at others and their actions for years.
What all this means is that I dont look towards this mirror of emotions like I used to. I used to stretch and strain my eyes and brain at my own typed thoughts to search for answers amongst them. But I know most of my answers know. The need for an audience has also diminished. Just having an audience creates an atmosphere which lets others and myself know that "What I am saying is very important." But as everyones social circle slowly diminishes over time, not everyone needs to know.
Outsides the confines of cyber space, I still have my outlets. Moving to Philly will now put a damper on my usual chats. Nothing makes me happier than having a couple of beers with my very real readers who are Manny and Miraj and its going to get difficult. I get a little distant when small talk is involved and I need to stay active with my friends in order to keep up that rapport. But they've been my best friends for these past few months and honestly it is all the outlet I need.
And over time, the big decisions in life will become fewer and farther between which my thinking brain will not be a fan of. But while I may not be great with this, I will keep up my friendships. So no worries.
So how come you and I arent friends anymore. Have we grown apart that much over the past few months that we cant even chat every once in a while?
Pretty much, yea.
Alot has happened in my life since we last chatted. I've seen London. I've held my nephew. I've graduated from a university. I've climbed the stairs of happiness and heartache. I've moved into a home in a major city. I received an unofficial invitation to the wedding of the girl I loved most. I've used up almost all of my "last summer." I've ate, drank, slept, partied, swam, and explored. But yet through all of this, I have not reached for you...not once.
Now how could this be?
If there are only a few explanations as to why it is because life has become cyclical and reoccurring. The shock value of life has diminished to a point where if I am unable to find the answer for myself, it simply doesnt evolve to become a problem. Now either this means that I have no problems or I simply figure them out on my own. I've been in my own shoes for so long that living my own life is as simple as breathing. This might seem too literal in an obvious sense, but living my life was never an easy task. For any given situation that might warrant 100 questions, all I have to do is sit back and they just seem to answer themselves.
This also leads me to the avenue of whether or not I have reached the point where I could beat my clone in a chess match. Eric Nicholls has certainly become a concrete product. So many of my habits and actions are so calculated to myself now that I can nearly predict the future course of events in regards to my own actions. And now I watch myself as a subject in the same sense as I have looked at others and their actions for years.
What all this means is that I dont look towards this mirror of emotions like I used to. I used to stretch and strain my eyes and brain at my own typed thoughts to search for answers amongst them. But I know most of my answers know. The need for an audience has also diminished. Just having an audience creates an atmosphere which lets others and myself know that "What I am saying is very important." But as everyones social circle slowly diminishes over time, not everyone needs to know.
Outsides the confines of cyber space, I still have my outlets. Moving to Philly will now put a damper on my usual chats. Nothing makes me happier than having a couple of beers with my very real readers who are Manny and Miraj and its going to get difficult. I get a little distant when small talk is involved and I need to stay active with my friends in order to keep up that rapport. But they've been my best friends for these past few months and honestly it is all the outlet I need.
And over time, the big decisions in life will become fewer and farther between which my thinking brain will not be a fan of. But while I may not be great with this, I will keep up my friendships. So no worries.