eyes glued shut
i need to stop falling asleep with my contact lenses in. ouch.
but now that i am temporarily awake before my next bout of narcoleptic sleep... a few notes.
*i feel better today.
*i woke up with more of a sense of purpose than i've felt in quite a few days.
*it sucks when you try to break up with someone and you realize just how unreacheable they are.
*objectivity is both my best and worst quality. maybe sometimes i should just shut up and take a side. but my gemininity says No.
*recently, i seem to have great faith that People have Good Intentions. when did that happen?
*my room is so hot it feels like a toaster over.
*rabbits are very good friends.
on a different note, i'm worried about a little group i'll call "the Velvets"... it scares me that Nikkya needs space from me so early in the semester because i think i must've really fucked up to have driven such a good friend away. it scares me that people complain about everyone else backstabbing while they're doing it too. it scares me that people would rather rely on a "he-said, she-said" story than actually directly confront the other person involved. it scares me that we would all rather run for cover than deal with our hurt, or the fact that friendships cause just as much pain as they do pleasure. true friends stick it out in the end.
and as much as i joke about it, i really don't think drama is inherently a Lesbian Problem. it's an issue in any small circle of friends where there's no dividing line between People You Talk To and People You Sleep With. heterosexuality may be easier, but i think with some boundaries and careful thinking, lesbians and other homos can figure out ways to make distinctions between Friends and Attraction. you just have to.
hmmmm. that said, us humans sure have a lot of inconsistencies. i'm trying to come to appreciate them rather than judge them. but it's hard. especially when your own are always looking straight back at you.
but now that i am temporarily awake before my next bout of narcoleptic sleep... a few notes.
*i feel better today.
*i woke up with more of a sense of purpose than i've felt in quite a few days.
*it sucks when you try to break up with someone and you realize just how unreacheable they are.
*objectivity is both my best and worst quality. maybe sometimes i should just shut up and take a side. but my gemininity says No.
*recently, i seem to have great faith that People have Good Intentions. when did that happen?
*my room is so hot it feels like a toaster over.
*rabbits are very good friends.
on a different note, i'm worried about a little group i'll call "the Velvets"... it scares me that Nikkya needs space from me so early in the semester because i think i must've really fucked up to have driven such a good friend away. it scares me that people complain about everyone else backstabbing while they're doing it too. it scares me that people would rather rely on a "he-said, she-said" story than actually directly confront the other person involved. it scares me that we would all rather run for cover than deal with our hurt, or the fact that friendships cause just as much pain as they do pleasure. true friends stick it out in the end.
and as much as i joke about it, i really don't think drama is inherently a Lesbian Problem. it's an issue in any small circle of friends where there's no dividing line between People You Talk To and People You Sleep With. heterosexuality may be easier, but i think with some boundaries and careful thinking, lesbians and other homos can figure out ways to make distinctions between Friends and Attraction. you just have to.
hmmmm. that said, us humans sure have a lot of inconsistencies. i'm trying to come to appreciate them rather than judge them. but it's hard. especially when your own are always looking straight back at you.