A subject that contradicts the actual journal entry that follows
March has come and gone. I've been quiet and not translating the thoughts into updates for you, kind reader. Mostly because I have not had anything positive to say.
I am still healing. I started physical therapy in late March. I am within a week or two of being able to walk unaided. Not quite a steady, well practiced stride, more of a slow and thoughtful shuffle. But it will do. Small steps, both literally and figuratively.
Not too long ago we celebrated Alex's 27th birthday, with a weekend of quiet celebration. There was a trip to the shooting range, a fencing tournament and an afternoon at the symphony with a delightful lunch and a stiff cocktail.
I am thinking mostly about the changes I want to make in my life. The accident gave me a chance to see things with fresh eyes. It has given me the opportunity to recognize what I don't like and need to remedy. Although sometimes this can be a cyclical occurance for me. But maybe I need that in order to keep learning.
I'm trying to list my goals, my expectations and my dreams. I am trying to stop thinking "what if" and start with "how do I get there". Life seems too short to sit by and hope things go your way. It seems like they never do until you struggle every which way to get to your destination. There are many things I have talked about, nay mused about doing, but never seem to make any headway on. I have to stop that. I cannot use the "I don't know how" excuse anymore. I need to find the tools to make myself happy.
I'm not sure I will succeed, but I can't afford to not try.
Sometimes, I wish I had more than just Alex to talk truthfully to. Talk bluntly from the deep cockles of your soul. Talk without reserve because there will not be judgement, only answers.
Maybe we all just need the answers and the connectedness to feel like they matter.
I am still healing. I started physical therapy in late March. I am within a week or two of being able to walk unaided. Not quite a steady, well practiced stride, more of a slow and thoughtful shuffle. But it will do. Small steps, both literally and figuratively.
Not too long ago we celebrated Alex's 27th birthday, with a weekend of quiet celebration. There was a trip to the shooting range, a fencing tournament and an afternoon at the symphony with a delightful lunch and a stiff cocktail.
I am thinking mostly about the changes I want to make in my life. The accident gave me a chance to see things with fresh eyes. It has given me the opportunity to recognize what I don't like and need to remedy. Although sometimes this can be a cyclical occurance for me. But maybe I need that in order to keep learning.
I'm trying to list my goals, my expectations and my dreams. I am trying to stop thinking "what if" and start with "how do I get there". Life seems too short to sit by and hope things go your way. It seems like they never do until you struggle every which way to get to your destination. There are many things I have talked about, nay mused about doing, but never seem to make any headway on. I have to stop that. I cannot use the "I don't know how" excuse anymore. I need to find the tools to make myself happy.
I'm not sure I will succeed, but I can't afford to not try.
Sometimes, I wish I had more than just Alex to talk truthfully to. Talk bluntly from the deep cockles of your soul. Talk without reserve because there will not be judgement, only answers.
Maybe we all just need the answers and the connectedness to feel like they matter.