(no subject)
These last two weeks have not been the greatest for me, but I think I crawled out finally. I don't have the mental energy to go through every little thing about what happened and how it made me feel and blah blah blah, but it sucked, let me tell you.
Work was awful, my boss was treating me like absolute shit because she was frustrated with her own job, Katy was gone for a house-sitting job all week, my dad had let me know that they were probably going to lose the house but wouldn't tell me specifics cause Mom kept walking nearby to hopefully overhear him, my friends were all dealing with horrible things that made me feel bad for them and even worse that I couldn't help, and just for funsies my period started near the end which meant I was dealing with all the crap while PMSing unknowingly. YAY LIFE SUCKS. Oh, and also in the middle I almost got rear-ended again while waiting for traffic to pass so I could pull into my driveway. That was an awesome way to end a 10 hour graveyard shift. weeeee.
the worst, though, was the soul consuming depression. Not gonna lie, for a few days somewhere in the middle of it I was in a really dark, really self-destructive place. I can't bring myself to tell anyone the exact thoughts that went through my head but they were not cool. Katy kept asking me what had been wrong and why I was so upset and depressed but I can't talk about it. I'd rather just ignore that it happened and move on, because besides needing a different job and a new boss, this shit is not important and I won't remember it long enough to let it affect my general Mel-ness, so whatever.
But seriously. I need a new job. Fuck this bitch.
Work was awful, my boss was treating me like absolute shit because she was frustrated with her own job, Katy was gone for a house-sitting job all week, my dad had let me know that they were probably going to lose the house but wouldn't tell me specifics cause Mom kept walking nearby to hopefully overhear him, my friends were all dealing with horrible things that made me feel bad for them and even worse that I couldn't help, and just for funsies my period started near the end which meant I was dealing with all the crap while PMSing unknowingly. YAY LIFE SUCKS. Oh, and also in the middle I almost got rear-ended again while waiting for traffic to pass so I could pull into my driveway. That was an awesome way to end a 10 hour graveyard shift. weeeee.
the worst, though, was the soul consuming depression. Not gonna lie, for a few days somewhere in the middle of it I was in a really dark, really self-destructive place. I can't bring myself to tell anyone the exact thoughts that went through my head but they were not cool. Katy kept asking me what had been wrong and why I was so upset and depressed but I can't talk about it. I'd rather just ignore that it happened and move on, because besides needing a different job and a new boss, this shit is not important and I won't remember it long enough to let it affect my general Mel-ness, so whatever.
But seriously. I need a new job. Fuck this bitch.