(no subject)
There is this photo, I look at everyday.
Actually I have a few in my bedroom.
Smiles, happiness.
I realised I don't even know you now.
And I'm not sad about it, I just am.
Its the same with the news.
I'm not feeling it yet, I'm just numb.
I don't think its hit me quite yet, I assume it will when I can stop and think about things.
But while I'm working so much it wont.
Maybe thats why I keep working so much.
I don't know.
I can't explain it.
I'm just so numb.
The first night I cried myself to sleep.
Poor Dylan being stuck with this sad excuse for a female, who can't even have his children and he wants to be a father so badly.
But I'm lucky because he doesn't look at me and see a poor excuse, and he loves me regardless of functioning ovaries.
I can't go on one of the medications because of its high risk association with Ovarian and Cervical cancer, and I'm already at such a high risk, not to mention people who have had it can't take this so why danger myself for something that might not work for me?
I'm just numb.
I don't have the words to explain, I'm empty, even work's noticed it.
I look at the pictures, I'm not that girl, and neither are you anymore.
I'm numb, but I've got no idea who you are. Partly my fauly, partly yours.
Actually I have a few in my bedroom.
Smiles, happiness.
I realised I don't even know you now.
And I'm not sad about it, I just am.
Its the same with the news.
I'm not feeling it yet, I'm just numb.
I don't think its hit me quite yet, I assume it will when I can stop and think about things.
But while I'm working so much it wont.
Maybe thats why I keep working so much.
I don't know.
I can't explain it.
I'm just so numb.
The first night I cried myself to sleep.
Poor Dylan being stuck with this sad excuse for a female, who can't even have his children and he wants to be a father so badly.
But I'm lucky because he doesn't look at me and see a poor excuse, and he loves me regardless of functioning ovaries.
I can't go on one of the medications because of its high risk association with Ovarian and Cervical cancer, and I'm already at such a high risk, not to mention people who have had it can't take this so why danger myself for something that might not work for me?
I'm just numb.
I don't have the words to explain, I'm empty, even work's noticed it.
I look at the pictures, I'm not that girl, and neither are you anymore.
I'm numb, but I've got no idea who you are. Partly my fauly, partly yours.