The PRIZE
Little victories everywhere.
I have gotten into the habit of making better choices: Victory!
I no longer look at my allotted points as a limit, but as a goal to fill: Victory!
I no longer feel starved at the end of my points, which means I'm doing something right: Victory!
I FEEL better, just living: Victory!
I am EXCITED about the journey ahead: Victory!
I look forward to taking my culinary know-how and recreating things that ARE yummy and NOT naughty: Victory!
Sure, at -6 there's not really a physical difference yet- but all of those things listed above make me FEEL better about the road ahead. I have my eye on the prize- Scotland in two years, then maybe a vow renewal where I am no longer concerned about how it looks for the bride to be twice as big as the groom, and then, possibly children...
and the PRIZE is that for all of these things I am not going over how to make these things work with my size...
the PRIZE is being able to shop for clothes ANYWHERE.
The PRIZE is knowing I will not have to worry my family when they make comparisons between me and my dad (quad bypass at 53)...
The PRIZE is being the ME I always have been- the internal image matching the external.
I do not WANT to be the average definition of thin. If I never go below 180 I will be happy with myself. What I DO want is to see myself as my husband does, and to not feel any shame in front of him. I DO want to see in the mirror the person I see in my head. I want to be healthy, and I want to live the long life that I am meant to have.