fucking a
things were so good.
and now they are not.
and i don't know why.
i really have no idea what is going on.
spring senior year I remember expressing displeasure with my inability to form definitive statements.
I talked to Zac Cavanaugh a lot about that,
I do miss that kid.
Today… when I stole Leila's room to talk to Elsa, I formed one,
I am not happy.
too many times today I put on my happy face.
and too many times I had to remind myself that is was to exist
for it never stayed long.
I hate my happy face.
my happy face is fake
and I am not an actress.
when I am forced to be one, instead of being naturally enchanting, ha!
I feel false;
I plague myself.
plagues are never well accepted.
especially self-induced.
ask egypt.
i do not know what the hell is going on.
and i don't know how to find out.
and that is all that I want to do/know.
well… and I want to talk to my best friend
|sigh| pre-cry
though crying is not on the agenda.
there is no need.
…as of yet.
anyway. I made a promise.
and damn it, I keep my fucking promises.
sorry if anyone finds this to be intentionally vague.
it really isn't.
i really just am this clueless right now.
it's a sad story, I know.
the story of my life.
;-)
yes. even when I am down I can still half ass jokes and my typical one-liners, however, lacking the smile that usually accompanies them.
good night[period].
*Love is…
appreciation.
and now they are not.
and i don't know why.
i really have no idea what is going on.
spring senior year I remember expressing displeasure with my inability to form definitive statements.
I talked to Zac Cavanaugh a lot about that,
I do miss that kid.
Today… when I stole Leila's room to talk to Elsa, I formed one,
I am not happy.
too many times today I put on my happy face.
and too many times I had to remind myself that is was to exist
for it never stayed long.
I hate my happy face.
my happy face is fake
and I am not an actress.
when I am forced to be one, instead of being naturally enchanting, ha!
I feel false;
I plague myself.
plagues are never well accepted.
especially self-induced.
ask egypt.
i do not know what the hell is going on.
and i don't know how to find out.
and that is all that I want to do/know.
well… and I want to talk to my best friend
|sigh| pre-cry
though crying is not on the agenda.
there is no need.
…as of yet.
anyway. I made a promise.
and damn it, I keep my fucking promises.
sorry if anyone finds this to be intentionally vague.
it really isn't.
i really just am this clueless right now.
it's a sad story, I know.
the story of my life.
;-)
yes. even when I am down I can still half ass jokes and my typical one-liners, however, lacking the smile that usually accompanies them.
good night[period].
*Love is…
appreciation.