Fic: The Boyfriend 5/12
Title: The Boyfriend
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt
Genre: Romance/Humour/Angst
Warning: Some swearing throughout fic. Rating will change for very last installment (a bonus missing scene).
Word Count: 4724 (out of around 56,000)
Disclaimer: Glee is not mine.
A/N: I started this fic back in May but a new job, a bereavement and a million other things got in the way so I've only just finished. Kind of perfect timing as it's set during Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Summary: Puck has been working his butt off for the last three years as a PA so when his totally ungrateful boss, Kurt Hummel, offers him his dream on a silver platter he should be happy right? The catch - he has to pretend to be Kurt's boyfriend.
Chapter Five
A loud thumping noise woke Puck around eleven the next morning, bleary eyed he glanced over to Kurt’s empty bed as he stretched out his back. Sleeping on the floor had seemed like such a good idea that first night, now it felt like a pretty dumbass one.
Rubbing his hand over his face, he wiping away the sleep in his eyes then took another look at the bed and sighed. Stumbling towards the bathroom Puck closed the door and stepped out of his underwear. After a quick shower he brushed his teeth then wandered back into the bedroom and pulled on a long sleeved shirt and his jeans.
As he left Kurt’s bedroom he realised that the loud thumping noise was music which sounded like it was being blasted from somewhere downstairs. Following the music he walked into the kitchen and found Kurt dancing to a Shakira song. Puck stared completely mesmerized by Kurt's hips, the way he moved them was unreal snapping them up and down swaying them in perfect figure eights and shimmying like he had no bones. It was hot and slightly disturbing.
"Baby asi es perfecto" Kurt sang along, stirring something in a bowl.
"Hey Boss, nice moves" Puck smirked.
Kurt spun around and lost all of his colour as they made eye contact then flushed bright red. "Hello Noah."
"Whatcha doing? Other than busting a move."
"I ummm I... here stir this!" A bowl of batter was thrust into his chest.
Puck grinned and took the bowl “Where’s everyone else?”
“My parents like to go to church the Sunday before Thanksgiving, Finn decided to tag along and Rachel went to show her support for other religions or something.”
“You didn’t fancy going?” Puck felt bad, Kurt was missing a family church thing because his fake boyfriend was Jewish.
“I don’t believe in God” Kurt replied.
Okay not so selfless then. Puck looked down at the lumpyish mixture in his bowl and began to whisk it “What exactly am I making?”
“Traditional Yorkshire puddings. Use those muscles, you don’t want lumps.” Kurt checked something on the stove then turned peered into the bowl no doubt assessing Puck’s whisking skills. “What?” he asked, finally noticing Puck’s smirk.
“Been noticing my muscles have you?”
Kurt rolled his eyes “They’re ridiculous, how could I miss them?”
Puck beat the mixture faster, not in an effort to show off his muscles but because he wanted to eat as soon as possible. At least that was what he told himself seconds before he beat a little too enthusiastically, splattering blobs of the mixture over his shirt.
After Kurt stopped laughing he handed Puck a wet cloth then opened a drawer and pulled out an apron. He stared down at it for a moment running his finger over the faded patterned fabric before handing it out to Puck. “Here.”
Puck dropped the dirty cloth next to the sink “Dude its pink and flowery.”
Kurt frowned, clutching the apron to his chest “Fine. You don’t have to.”
Not understanding Kurt’s hurt expression, Puck reached out his hand “Give it here.”
“No you don’t want it.”
“Just give me the bloody apron Kurt.”
Kurt stared at him for a few seconds biting his bottom lip before he handed over the pink monstrosity.
Once everything was in the oven Kurt began loading the dishwasher in a completely haphazard manor, making Puck cringe and attempt to take over so that it was done properly. All of a sudden Kurt let out an excited noise and ran to the radio, turning it up even higher as he sang along.
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time
Puck grinned as Kurt did a little twirl towards the dishwasher which he continued to load in his unique way. Leaning against the counter until his favourite verse began, Puck pushed off the units and started to dance, slapping his hands either side of his junk as Kurt laughed at him.
I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite I'm out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode
At the end of the song Puck held up his hand without thinking. Kurt looked at it tilting his head slightly before he slapped his own hand against it. Puck smiled back at Kurt but inside his mind was racing, he had just sung and danced to an epic song with Kurt Hummel. More than that he had enjoyed himself, in fact he couldn’t remember enjoying himself that much in months. Puck really needed to get a life if high fiving Kurt made him so damn happy. As soon as he was back in New York and no longer Kurt’s bitch he was going to get hammered then laid.
Puck tugged at the ties around his waist and shrugged off the apron “Here Princess.”
Kurt froze, his relaxed carefree expression turning cold. “Don’t call me that” he bit out angrily as he snatched the apron out of Puck’s hand.
“What?”
“Princess. Don’t you dare call me that.”
Puck rolled his eyes “Dude it’s just a nickname.”
“You think I don’t know what they all call me? I’m not stupid.” Kurt folded the pink apron, gently placing it in the drawer then slammed it shut.
Shit, Kurt knew? “I didn't mean it like that” Puck blurted.
“Sure you didn't” Kurt drawled sarcastically. “How did you mean it then?”
Puck opened and closed his mouth a couple of times not knowing how to answer. He hadn’t actually thought about it, it had just slipped out.
“Like I thought.”
Guilt filled Puck’s stomach. He didn’t exactly like the dude but he didn’t like hurting people either, he might have been a jerk in high school but he wasn’t that person anymore.
“I didn’t mean to upset you” Puck said.
“Why would it upset me? I’m an Ice Princess, how could anything you say possibly hurt?”
Kurt switched the radio off and left the room without looking at him. Puck listened to him walk upstairs before he groaned rubbing his hand over his face. After he put the detergent in the dishwasher and set it off Puck pulled his cell out of his pocket and hit number three on his speed dial.
“Puck, dude, how’s it going in the lair of the beast?” Mike asked jovially. He had laughed his ass off when he found out what Puck’s business trip really involved.
“Not as bad as I thought. That’s kinda why I’m calling though. I fucked up and now Kurt’s pissed and I don’t know what to do.” Puck cradled the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he lifted himself up so he could sit on the counter top.
“Kurt now is it?” Mike teased.
“What? I can hardly call him Boss when I’m here can I?”
Mike made a thoughtful noise “Suppose not. So how exactly did you fuck up?”
“Kurt knows what everyone at work calls him.”
“Shit.”
“And I may have called him Princess” Puck admitted.
“Did he flip out at you?” he asked nervously. Mike had met Kurt a grand total of once and would freely admit to anyone that he was terrified of the guy.
“No it was worse, he said it didn’t upset him” Puck sighed, rubbing his hand over his short hair and down the back of his neck.
“How’s that worse? He obviously is too up himself to care.”
“Dude you didn’t see his eyes.”
The hurt in those pretty blue eyes had made him feel like a complete asshole. The fact that he found Kurt’s eyes pretty he would have to worry about later.
Mike didn’t reply for a moment “Sounds like you like him.”
Puck snorted “Hardly.” Mike made a disbelieving noise down the phone. “Fine I’m willing to admit that he’s not as bad as I thought.”
“Woah Puck, this is Kurt frikkin Hummel we’re talking about. The guy who sent you out for toilet paper after midnight, who interrupts every date you go on which isn’t exactly a lot. The guy who tells you your writing’s shit and makes you carry his bag and fetch weird coffee. He makes you buy his Christmas presents for God’s sake. Remember?”
Puck snorted “Yeah of course I remember, that was like last week. It’s just... he’s different here is all. More chilled out.”
“Tell me you aren’t falling for him” Mike groaned.
“Don’t be stupid Mike.”
“Just saying...”
“Yeah well don’t.” There was no way in hell Puck was going to fall for Kurt, just no way. It was ridiculous even talking about it.
“So what exactly do you want from me?”
“Tell me how to fix this” Puck asked glancing towards the doorway that Kurt had disappeared through.
“Have you tried apologising?”
“Apologising? Seriously that’s all you’ve got?” Puck demanded, for some reason he had thought Mike would be able to help a bit more than telling him to say sorry.
“What else is there?”
Puck shoved his cell into his pocket and stood staring at the stairs for a few minutes before he manned up, making his way up to Kurt’s room.
When he stepped into the room Kurt was nowhere to be seen, Puck sighed as he made his way to the bathroom. He really hoped that Kurt wasn’t in there crying or something because he didn’t think he could handle that. Puck was about to knock on the en suite’s door when he heard a shuffling noise coming from the walk in closet. He paused next to the door listening for a second then pulled the door open, his mouth dropping open slightly when he stared into Kurt’s shocked eyes.
Kurt, obviously in the middle of changing, was standing surrounded by clothes only wearing a skin tight t shirt and tight boxer briefs. Puck’s eyes slowly skimmed over his t-shirt clad chest, lingered over the bulge in his shorts before looking down at his toned legs which were covered in a light dusting of hair.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Kurt demanded, grabbing a pair of sweat pants quickly covering himself.
“I....ummm.” Puck mumbled, unable to get Kurt’s legs out of his head.
Kurt pushed at his chest forcing him to take a step backwards then stormed out of his closet “What do you want Noah?”
“I came to apologise.” Kurt just glared at him. “I’m really sorry dude. I didn’t mean it the way they do.”
“Do you have any idea what it’s like having everyone hate you?”
“Umm.”
“I didn’t think so. You know, I don’t think I even care that they all think I’m a cold hearted bitch. It’s..... never mind” Kurt wrapped his arms around his waist and looked down.
Puck reached out taking Kurt’s chin and tilting it back up “What is it then?”
“I’m a guy.”
Puck smirked and looked down at Kurt’s crotch “Yeah I noticed.”
Kurt raised an unimpressed eyebrow “I don’t appreciate people giving me a girl’s nickname.”
“Noted.” Puck took a half step closer as Kurt’s expression softened slightly. “I really am sorry Kurt.”
Kurt nodded slowly as an unwilling smile spread across his face. They stared at each other for a few moments, Puck’s eyes dropping to Kurt’s full lips.
The door slammed downstairs signalling the return of the rest of the Hummels, Kurt cleared his throat “Thank you Noah. Now if you’ll leave I’ll get changed.”
Puck stepped backwards, avoiding eye contact with Kurt as he yanked off his stained shirt and grabbed a clean one out of his bag then left the room.
Twenty minutes later Puck put the last serving dish on the table and slid into his seat. Despite the fact that he had helped Kurt carry everything to the table, Puck couldn’t help but stare in shock at the amount of food there was. Not that it wouldn’t get eaten with six people, four of which were dudes but damn that was a lot of food.
Puck shook his head and zoned back into the conversation as Finn was gleefully explaining that he got three extra days holiday because of some sort of contagious illness going around his workplace.
“It’s great! We didn’t think we would be able to fly out until Wednesday night. I mean it sucks that everyone else is hurling but what good timing.”
“What is it that you do? I don’t think you mentioned it yesterday” Puck asked.
“I’m a teacher. Has Kurt not mentioned it?”
Kurt lazily rolled his eyes as he passed Rachel the potatoes “We tend to have more important things to discuss than my brother’s choice of career.”
Finn shrugged “Anyway we had a really awesome Glee teacher, Mr Schue, who inspired me to become a teacher.”
“So I see you still have your man-crush” Kurt drawled.
Finn frowned “Do not.”
“Do too” Kurt sang.
“Rachel tell him I don’t fancy Mr Schue.”
“You do have a certain admiration for Mr Schue which borders on crush like behaviour Finn” Rachel replied, winking at Kurt when Finn wasn’t looking.
“Where are you getting this from?” Finn demanded completely shocked.
“I wonder” Kurt murmured.
Rachel patted Finn on the arm “I think it’s very sweet.”
“But I’m not gay. I’m not!” Finn glanced at Burt who was trying to hide a smirk. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, I love gay people. Well you know not love love and Mr Schue’s not gay. At least I don’t think he is.” He seemed to realise he was rambling and glanced across to Puck “Honestly dude I don’t love my ex-teacher.”
“Whatever man.”
“How’s work Kurt?” Carole asked ignoring Finn’s muttering.
“Fine, thank you.”
“Oh sweetie.”
A fake smile spread across his face “It’s fine, you know how much I love scarves.”
Carole gave him a sad smile then turned to Puck “So Noah you write sports, is that right?”
“You like sports?” Finn perked up. “Have you written anything I would’ve read?”
“Err do you read End Zone?”
“Yes.” Shit.
“I’ve just been signed with them.” Well it was almost true, Kurt had promised it would happen so he figured that it was as good as being signed.
Across the table Burt put down his knife and fork “So you haven’t been published yet?”
Puck glanced at Kurt not knowing how to answer.
“Noah’s first article will be published in two weeks.”
“That’s great. I sort of assumed that you were already published like Kurt” Burt replied.
“It’s just a matter of time. I’ve read all of the articles Noah’s written over the last few months, they’re really amazing.”
Damn Kurt was a good liar.
Burt narrowed his eyes “So where exactly did you meet?”
“We met when I was working as a PA” Puck replied, glancing at Kurt who nodded slightly but not enough for anyone else to notice.
After dinner Burt and Carole went upstairs to lie down, Puck didn’t blame them he couldn’t remember when he had eaten so much for lunch. He usually just grabbed something quick especially at work but it seemed that Kurt went all out for Sunday lunch. The dude was an amazing cook as well Puck reluctantly admitted to himself, Puck wasn’t bad but he tended to be better a baking for some reason.
All of the ‘kids’ lay around the living room, Kurt and Puck on one couch, Rachel reclining on the other and Finn on the recliner. Kurt leant back against the arm and reached over it, picking up a magazine from the end table nearest to him.
Noticing that it was a copy of Crankshaft, Puck frowned “I don’t think I have that issue.”
Kurt shifted awkwardly “I’m sure you have.”
“No I would remember.” Puck leant closer looking for the issue number and date “Dude that’s tomorrow’s issue! How the hell did you get it?”
Kurt opened his mouth then closed it, shooting Rachel an unreadable look.
“He always gets an advanced copy” Finn said, glancing over from the recliner.
“But why....” Even the writers didn’t get advanced copies as far as Puck was aware so how the hell did Kurt have one?
“The editor sends me a copy the day before it’s published. He sent it to me by courier this morning” Kurt replied quickly.
Puck knew that Kurt got to see a mock up of each issue of Poise but the fact that he had a copy of Crankshaft before it was released was insane. Kurt didn’t even work for that magazine.
“Kurt has the most popular article. Why wouldn’t he get it first?” Finn asked looking completely confused.
Puck glanced towards him “Yeah but that’s fashion dude.”
“No I mean...”
“Yes fashion, his articles make Poise a lot of money. Why shouldn’t he get what he wants?” Rachel interrupted, sharing another indecipherable look with Kurt.
“Yeah but I meant....”
Rachel looked exasperated for a second then smiled sweetly at her boyfriend “Finn sweetie, would you mind getting me a drink?”
Puck leant over Kurt’s shoulder trying to read what he was looking at which was difficult considering Kurt kept inching away from him.
“You are so annoying, here.” Kurt flicked over a few pages then handed Puck the magazine folded over at Elizabeth Hudson’s page.
Puck grinned as he took the magazine and flopped onto his back, his feet resting against Kurt’s thigh “Thanks Boss.”
He glanced down at page then back up at Kurt who had the exact colour hair as the stylised cartoon. Huh, he had never noticed that before. “So you get this because you’re friends with Elizabeth Hudson?”
Kurt and Rachel both took a quick glance towards the kitchen where Finn could be heard banging and clattering.
“Something like that and no I still won’t introduce you to her.”
Puck slumped down further into the couch as he began to read the article, he wasn’t sulking of anything because dude’s like Puck never did anything as lame as sulking but damn Kurt was mean. After reading for a few minutes his mood lightened, Elizabeth Hudson had to be the funniest women in the world. At his admittedly loud snort followed by stifled laughter Kurt and Rachel stared at him in amusement.
“What? This chick is hilarious.”
Rachel grinned at Kurt “Nothing, nothing at all.”
“Breadstix tomorrow?” Finn asked as he handed Rachel a glass of juice and a cookie.
Rachel clapped her hands “Ooo then we can go over to Artie’s club.”
Finn grinned at Puck “Dude you haven’t lived until you’ve been to Breadstix!”
“I assure you, you have” Kurt drawled, flicking his eyes towards Puck.
“So what do you guys want to do this afternoon?” Finn asked.
Kurt shrugged “There’s not really much to do, especially on a Sunday.”
“We could go to the golf course” he said eagerly.
“It’s miniature golf Finn” Rachel corrected indulgently
Puck sat up, the magazine dropping onto his lap “Miniature golf?”
“Oh God, not you too?” Kurt groaned.
“What? It’s awesome.”
Finn grinned “I knew I liked you dude.”
Twenty minutes later the four of them piled into Kurt’s Navigator, Finn called shotgun but Kurt overruled him saying that his boyfriend got automatic shotgun which made Puck smirk. At least this job had some perks.
The miniature golf course was a pretty standard affair, scary clown face, big windmill and as a bonus they had the whole place to themselves apart from some high school kids who looked like they were about halfway through the course. As they approached the first hole Kurt stopped and Puck almost walked into the back of him.
“Everything okay dude?”
Kurt glanced up at him but didn’t say anything. He looked nervously across the course towards the letterman jacket wearing teenagers then stepped closer to Finn who put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
For whatever reason that seemed to reassure Kurt who cleared his throat and smiled “So are we ready to play?”
Puck glanced at Rachel who sent Finn multiple worried looks until she noticed Puck looking at her. Plastering a smile on her face, she linked arms with Kurt and walked towards the first hole “Come on Kurt, lets kick their asses.”
That turned out to be easier said than done, Finn like Puck had obviously spent far too much time hanging around places like this as a kid. Rachel wasn’t half bad considering she hadn’t played since she was a little girl and Kurt.... well Kurt was crap.
“Oh my god, does that kid really have a mohawk?” Kurt asked in disgust as he waited for his turn.
Puck glanced over at the kids who seemed to be more interested in hitting the clown’s head than the balls. “What’s wrong with a mohawk?”
Kurt narrowed his eyes “You had one didn’t you?”
“Maybe” Puck snorted at Kurt’s grimace. “Hey I looked hot with the hawk.”
“I’m sure you did. Most people look ridiculous though.”
Not hearing any trace of sarcasm in Kurt’s voice, Puck stared at him in shock. Kurt thought he was hot? The fact that Kurt would sort of admit it was way more surprising than him actually thinking it.
“Err sure. It’s your turn kid.”
Kurt looked startled for a moment before shaking his head “Kid? I’m twenty five.”
“Yeah well you’re younger than me.”
“Not much.” Kurt gave a teasing smile “I like it better than Princess though.”
Stepping up to the hole Kurt swung the club and everyone watched as it flew backwards out of his hands, hitting Finn in the middle of the chest.
“I really don’t like this game” Kurt muttered as Rachel and Puck began to laugh hysterically.
“Neither do I when you play” Finn grumbled rubbing his chest.
“Here, let me help.”
Picking up the wayward club Puck stepped behind Kurt and wrapped his arms around him, covering soft hands with his own. Kurt flinched slightly but glanced up with a rueful smile so Puck ignored his initial reaction and continued to reposition his hands on the club. Letting go as soon as the ball was struck Puck watched as together they got Kurt’s first hole in one. He couldn’t help but smile as Rachel joined in with Kurt’s dance of joy,
Realising that they were never going to get finished if they didn’t get a move on Finn and Puck moved onto the next hole while Kurt waited for Rachel to finish her turn. This put them within earshot of the kids who were still fooling around halfway across the course.
“You’d think the fag would know what to do with a club.”
“I don’t think sucking it will improve his game” a scruffy kid replied, causing a round of high fives.
Puck grabbed onto Finn as he took a step forward with his fists clenched, and pulled him back. “Let me handle it dude.”
Making his way over to the jocks he let some of his high school persona seep through, one that had made its living through fear and intimidation. It wasn’t something he was terribly proud of now but sometimes a situation called for a badass and that was one thing that Puck knew how to be.
“You guys got a problem?”
The kid who made the comment shifted uncomfortably but tilted his chin “So what if we do?”
“Well why don’t you explain to this fag what it is?” Puck said with an edge to his voice.
“You’re gay?” one of the previously silent kids asked, completely shocked.
Puck took a step towards them and they all backed up “Let me ask you again. Do you have a problem with my boyfriend?”
The leader, a fat kid who looked like he was going to piss himself, took a quick glance towards Kurt then back at Puck who glared at him, daring him to say something.
“No” the kid mumbled. As Puck raised an eyebrow he stuttered “N-No sir.”
“I think you boys should leave. Now.” Puck watched as they scurried away then turned and made his way back towards Kurt who took a step away from Rachel and Finn.
“What was that all about?” he asked quietly. At least Kurt hadn’t heard the idiots.
“Absolutely nothing. Now let me show you how a pro does it.” Puck smiled, guiding him back towards the plastic windmill.
As suspected they didn’t manage to finish the course before the sun went down. Finn was all for playing in the dark but Rachel, Kurt and the owner who wanted to close didn’t agree. They headed back to the house stopping for take away on the way then joined Burt and Carole in the living room for a movie night.
A few hours later Puck wandered into the kitchen expecting to find Kurt but it was Carole who was standing at the sink washing dishes. Not wanting to startle her again Puck cleared his throat.
“Oh hello Noah dear. Everything okay?”
“Kurt said something about warm milk.” He didn’t really know why he was supposed to meet Kurt in the kitchen for milk but Puck figured it was easier just to do what he was told as usual.
Carole laughed quietly “It’s a ritual he started years ago to bond with Finn. It took him a while to find out that Finn can’t stand milk and was tipping it into the potted plant upstairs.”
That sounded like Kurt. Puck picked up a tea towel and began to dry the dishes on the drainer.
“Rachel said there was an incident at the golf course?” Carole asked casually but there was a tension in her shoulders which Puck didn’t miss.
“Just some kids making comments, I dealt with it.”
Carole smiled “I’m glad Kurt has you. Not that he can’t look after himself of course, I just worry.”
Puck nodded, uneasy about deceiving her for the first time “He didn’t hear them.”
“Good. Rachel said Finn was upset.”
“I have a kid sister, I know what it’s like being a protective big brother.”
Carole paused halfway through washing a glass jar “Yes Finn can be a bit protective, but then so can Kurt and technically he’s the big brother. He’s a month older than Finn.”
“How’s that possible?”
Misunderstanding she laughed “I know it sounds so wrong.”
Puck felt completely lost. How the hell was Kurt only a month older than his brother?
“I don’t understand. Is one of them adopted or something?” That would at least explain why Finn was a giant and Kurt was normal sized.
Carole gave him an odd look “Honey has Kurt not explained it? I’m his step mom, Burt and I married when they were seventeen.”
“Oh sorry I just assumed...”
“It’s a bit odd that Kurt never mentioned it” she said frowning.
Shit, his cover was this close to being blown just because Kurt didn’t think it was important to mention that his mom wasn’t really his mom.
“Well he always talks about his parents or calls you his mom so I naturally assumed...”
“He calls me his mom?” Carole interrupted.
“Sometimes yeah.”
Carole's eyes filled up “I’m sorry, I’m just so overwhelmed. I know I could never replace his mom and I’ve never expected him to call me... but that he calls me that to other people” she choked unable to finish.
Taking a minute to compose herself she continued “Finn was a baby when his dad died, Burt’s the only father he’s ever known but Kurt's mom died when he was eight.”
For the first time in his life Puck felt sorry for Kurt. He knew what it was like growing up with only one parent and it sucked. Despite the fact that his dad was as good as dead to him he didn’t know what it was like to lose a parent, especially one you loved. It had to be the worst thing ever.
Kurt walked into the room, nearly toppling over when a teary Carole threw her arms around him. Glancing between her and an amused Puck he hugged back, confusion flooding his face.
"What did you do to her?" he demanded.
"Nothing, that was all you."
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt
Genre: Romance/Humour/Angst
Warning: Some swearing throughout fic. Rating will change for very last installment (a bonus missing scene).
Word Count: 4724 (out of around 56,000)
Disclaimer: Glee is not mine.
A/N: I started this fic back in May but a new job, a bereavement and a million other things got in the way so I've only just finished. Kind of perfect timing as it's set during Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Summary: Puck has been working his butt off for the last three years as a PA so when his totally ungrateful boss, Kurt Hummel, offers him his dream on a silver platter he should be happy right? The catch - he has to pretend to be Kurt's boyfriend.
Chapter Five
A loud thumping noise woke Puck around eleven the next morning, bleary eyed he glanced over to Kurt’s empty bed as he stretched out his back. Sleeping on the floor had seemed like such a good idea that first night, now it felt like a pretty dumbass one.
Rubbing his hand over his face, he wiping away the sleep in his eyes then took another look at the bed and sighed. Stumbling towards the bathroom Puck closed the door and stepped out of his underwear. After a quick shower he brushed his teeth then wandered back into the bedroom and pulled on a long sleeved shirt and his jeans.
As he left Kurt’s bedroom he realised that the loud thumping noise was music which sounded like it was being blasted from somewhere downstairs. Following the music he walked into the kitchen and found Kurt dancing to a Shakira song. Puck stared completely mesmerized by Kurt's hips, the way he moved them was unreal snapping them up and down swaying them in perfect figure eights and shimmying like he had no bones. It was hot and slightly disturbing.
"Baby asi es perfecto" Kurt sang along, stirring something in a bowl.
"Hey Boss, nice moves" Puck smirked.
Kurt spun around and lost all of his colour as they made eye contact then flushed bright red. "Hello Noah."
"Whatcha doing? Other than busting a move."
"I ummm I... here stir this!" A bowl of batter was thrust into his chest.
Puck grinned and took the bowl “Where’s everyone else?”
“My parents like to go to church the Sunday before Thanksgiving, Finn decided to tag along and Rachel went to show her support for other religions or something.”
“You didn’t fancy going?” Puck felt bad, Kurt was missing a family church thing because his fake boyfriend was Jewish.
“I don’t believe in God” Kurt replied.
Okay not so selfless then. Puck looked down at the lumpyish mixture in his bowl and began to whisk it “What exactly am I making?”
“Traditional Yorkshire puddings. Use those muscles, you don’t want lumps.” Kurt checked something on the stove then turned peered into the bowl no doubt assessing Puck’s whisking skills. “What?” he asked, finally noticing Puck’s smirk.
“Been noticing my muscles have you?”
Kurt rolled his eyes “They’re ridiculous, how could I miss them?”
Puck beat the mixture faster, not in an effort to show off his muscles but because he wanted to eat as soon as possible. At least that was what he told himself seconds before he beat a little too enthusiastically, splattering blobs of the mixture over his shirt.
After Kurt stopped laughing he handed Puck a wet cloth then opened a drawer and pulled out an apron. He stared down at it for a moment running his finger over the faded patterned fabric before handing it out to Puck. “Here.”
Puck dropped the dirty cloth next to the sink “Dude its pink and flowery.”
Kurt frowned, clutching the apron to his chest “Fine. You don’t have to.”
Not understanding Kurt’s hurt expression, Puck reached out his hand “Give it here.”
“No you don’t want it.”
“Just give me the bloody apron Kurt.”
Kurt stared at him for a few seconds biting his bottom lip before he handed over the pink monstrosity.
Once everything was in the oven Kurt began loading the dishwasher in a completely haphazard manor, making Puck cringe and attempt to take over so that it was done properly. All of a sudden Kurt let out an excited noise and ran to the radio, turning it up even higher as he sang along.
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time
Puck grinned as Kurt did a little twirl towards the dishwasher which he continued to load in his unique way. Leaning against the counter until his favourite verse began, Puck pushed off the units and started to dance, slapping his hands either side of his junk as Kurt laughed at him.
I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars
On a collision course
I am a satellite I'm out of control
I am a sex machine ready to reload
Like an atom bomb about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode
At the end of the song Puck held up his hand without thinking. Kurt looked at it tilting his head slightly before he slapped his own hand against it. Puck smiled back at Kurt but inside his mind was racing, he had just sung and danced to an epic song with Kurt Hummel. More than that he had enjoyed himself, in fact he couldn’t remember enjoying himself that much in months. Puck really needed to get a life if high fiving Kurt made him so damn happy. As soon as he was back in New York and no longer Kurt’s bitch he was going to get hammered then laid.
Puck tugged at the ties around his waist and shrugged off the apron “Here Princess.”
Kurt froze, his relaxed carefree expression turning cold. “Don’t call me that” he bit out angrily as he snatched the apron out of Puck’s hand.
“What?”
“Princess. Don’t you dare call me that.”
Puck rolled his eyes “Dude it’s just a nickname.”
“You think I don’t know what they all call me? I’m not stupid.” Kurt folded the pink apron, gently placing it in the drawer then slammed it shut.
Shit, Kurt knew? “I didn't mean it like that” Puck blurted.
“Sure you didn't” Kurt drawled sarcastically. “How did you mean it then?”
Puck opened and closed his mouth a couple of times not knowing how to answer. He hadn’t actually thought about it, it had just slipped out.
“Like I thought.”
Guilt filled Puck’s stomach. He didn’t exactly like the dude but he didn’t like hurting people either, he might have been a jerk in high school but he wasn’t that person anymore.
“I didn’t mean to upset you” Puck said.
“Why would it upset me? I’m an Ice Princess, how could anything you say possibly hurt?”
Kurt switched the radio off and left the room without looking at him. Puck listened to him walk upstairs before he groaned rubbing his hand over his face. After he put the detergent in the dishwasher and set it off Puck pulled his cell out of his pocket and hit number three on his speed dial.
“Puck, dude, how’s it going in the lair of the beast?” Mike asked jovially. He had laughed his ass off when he found out what Puck’s business trip really involved.
“Not as bad as I thought. That’s kinda why I’m calling though. I fucked up and now Kurt’s pissed and I don’t know what to do.” Puck cradled the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he lifted himself up so he could sit on the counter top.
“Kurt now is it?” Mike teased.
“What? I can hardly call him Boss when I’m here can I?”
Mike made a thoughtful noise “Suppose not. So how exactly did you fuck up?”
“Kurt knows what everyone at work calls him.”
“Shit.”
“And I may have called him Princess” Puck admitted.
“Did he flip out at you?” he asked nervously. Mike had met Kurt a grand total of once and would freely admit to anyone that he was terrified of the guy.
“No it was worse, he said it didn’t upset him” Puck sighed, rubbing his hand over his short hair and down the back of his neck.
“How’s that worse? He obviously is too up himself to care.”
“Dude you didn’t see his eyes.”
The hurt in those pretty blue eyes had made him feel like a complete asshole. The fact that he found Kurt’s eyes pretty he would have to worry about later.
Mike didn’t reply for a moment “Sounds like you like him.”
Puck snorted “Hardly.” Mike made a disbelieving noise down the phone. “Fine I’m willing to admit that he’s not as bad as I thought.”
“Woah Puck, this is Kurt frikkin Hummel we’re talking about. The guy who sent you out for toilet paper after midnight, who interrupts every date you go on which isn’t exactly a lot. The guy who tells you your writing’s shit and makes you carry his bag and fetch weird coffee. He makes you buy his Christmas presents for God’s sake. Remember?”
Puck snorted “Yeah of course I remember, that was like last week. It’s just... he’s different here is all. More chilled out.”
“Tell me you aren’t falling for him” Mike groaned.
“Don’t be stupid Mike.”
“Just saying...”
“Yeah well don’t.” There was no way in hell Puck was going to fall for Kurt, just no way. It was ridiculous even talking about it.
“So what exactly do you want from me?”
“Tell me how to fix this” Puck asked glancing towards the doorway that Kurt had disappeared through.
“Have you tried apologising?”
“Apologising? Seriously that’s all you’ve got?” Puck demanded, for some reason he had thought Mike would be able to help a bit more than telling him to say sorry.
“What else is there?”
Puck shoved his cell into his pocket and stood staring at the stairs for a few minutes before he manned up, making his way up to Kurt’s room.
When he stepped into the room Kurt was nowhere to be seen, Puck sighed as he made his way to the bathroom. He really hoped that Kurt wasn’t in there crying or something because he didn’t think he could handle that. Puck was about to knock on the en suite’s door when he heard a shuffling noise coming from the walk in closet. He paused next to the door listening for a second then pulled the door open, his mouth dropping open slightly when he stared into Kurt’s shocked eyes.
Kurt, obviously in the middle of changing, was standing surrounded by clothes only wearing a skin tight t shirt and tight boxer briefs. Puck’s eyes slowly skimmed over his t-shirt clad chest, lingered over the bulge in his shorts before looking down at his toned legs which were covered in a light dusting of hair.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Kurt demanded, grabbing a pair of sweat pants quickly covering himself.
“I....ummm.” Puck mumbled, unable to get Kurt’s legs out of his head.
Kurt pushed at his chest forcing him to take a step backwards then stormed out of his closet “What do you want Noah?”
“I came to apologise.” Kurt just glared at him. “I’m really sorry dude. I didn’t mean it the way they do.”
“Do you have any idea what it’s like having everyone hate you?”
“Umm.”
“I didn’t think so. You know, I don’t think I even care that they all think I’m a cold hearted bitch. It’s..... never mind” Kurt wrapped his arms around his waist and looked down.
Puck reached out taking Kurt’s chin and tilting it back up “What is it then?”
“I’m a guy.”
Puck smirked and looked down at Kurt’s crotch “Yeah I noticed.”
Kurt raised an unimpressed eyebrow “I don’t appreciate people giving me a girl’s nickname.”
“Noted.” Puck took a half step closer as Kurt’s expression softened slightly. “I really am sorry Kurt.”
Kurt nodded slowly as an unwilling smile spread across his face. They stared at each other for a few moments, Puck’s eyes dropping to Kurt’s full lips.
The door slammed downstairs signalling the return of the rest of the Hummels, Kurt cleared his throat “Thank you Noah. Now if you’ll leave I’ll get changed.”
Puck stepped backwards, avoiding eye contact with Kurt as he yanked off his stained shirt and grabbed a clean one out of his bag then left the room.
Twenty minutes later Puck put the last serving dish on the table and slid into his seat. Despite the fact that he had helped Kurt carry everything to the table, Puck couldn’t help but stare in shock at the amount of food there was. Not that it wouldn’t get eaten with six people, four of which were dudes but damn that was a lot of food.
Puck shook his head and zoned back into the conversation as Finn was gleefully explaining that he got three extra days holiday because of some sort of contagious illness going around his workplace.
“It’s great! We didn’t think we would be able to fly out until Wednesday night. I mean it sucks that everyone else is hurling but what good timing.”
“What is it that you do? I don’t think you mentioned it yesterday” Puck asked.
“I’m a teacher. Has Kurt not mentioned it?”
Kurt lazily rolled his eyes as he passed Rachel the potatoes “We tend to have more important things to discuss than my brother’s choice of career.”
Finn shrugged “Anyway we had a really awesome Glee teacher, Mr Schue, who inspired me to become a teacher.”
“So I see you still have your man-crush” Kurt drawled.
Finn frowned “Do not.”
“Do too” Kurt sang.
“Rachel tell him I don’t fancy Mr Schue.”
“You do have a certain admiration for Mr Schue which borders on crush like behaviour Finn” Rachel replied, winking at Kurt when Finn wasn’t looking.
“Where are you getting this from?” Finn demanded completely shocked.
“I wonder” Kurt murmured.
Rachel patted Finn on the arm “I think it’s very sweet.”
“But I’m not gay. I’m not!” Finn glanced at Burt who was trying to hide a smirk. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, I love gay people. Well you know not love love and Mr Schue’s not gay. At least I don’t think he is.” He seemed to realise he was rambling and glanced across to Puck “Honestly dude I don’t love my ex-teacher.”
“Whatever man.”
“How’s work Kurt?” Carole asked ignoring Finn’s muttering.
“Fine, thank you.”
“Oh sweetie.”
A fake smile spread across his face “It’s fine, you know how much I love scarves.”
Carole gave him a sad smile then turned to Puck “So Noah you write sports, is that right?”
“You like sports?” Finn perked up. “Have you written anything I would’ve read?”
“Err do you read End Zone?”
“Yes.” Shit.
“I’ve just been signed with them.” Well it was almost true, Kurt had promised it would happen so he figured that it was as good as being signed.
Across the table Burt put down his knife and fork “So you haven’t been published yet?”
Puck glanced at Kurt not knowing how to answer.
“Noah’s first article will be published in two weeks.”
“That’s great. I sort of assumed that you were already published like Kurt” Burt replied.
“It’s just a matter of time. I’ve read all of the articles Noah’s written over the last few months, they’re really amazing.”
Damn Kurt was a good liar.
Burt narrowed his eyes “So where exactly did you meet?”
“We met when I was working as a PA” Puck replied, glancing at Kurt who nodded slightly but not enough for anyone else to notice.
After dinner Burt and Carole went upstairs to lie down, Puck didn’t blame them he couldn’t remember when he had eaten so much for lunch. He usually just grabbed something quick especially at work but it seemed that Kurt went all out for Sunday lunch. The dude was an amazing cook as well Puck reluctantly admitted to himself, Puck wasn’t bad but he tended to be better a baking for some reason.
All of the ‘kids’ lay around the living room, Kurt and Puck on one couch, Rachel reclining on the other and Finn on the recliner. Kurt leant back against the arm and reached over it, picking up a magazine from the end table nearest to him.
Noticing that it was a copy of Crankshaft, Puck frowned “I don’t think I have that issue.”
Kurt shifted awkwardly “I’m sure you have.”
“No I would remember.” Puck leant closer looking for the issue number and date “Dude that’s tomorrow’s issue! How the hell did you get it?”
Kurt opened his mouth then closed it, shooting Rachel an unreadable look.
“He always gets an advanced copy” Finn said, glancing over from the recliner.
“But why....” Even the writers didn’t get advanced copies as far as Puck was aware so how the hell did Kurt have one?
“The editor sends me a copy the day before it’s published. He sent it to me by courier this morning” Kurt replied quickly.
Puck knew that Kurt got to see a mock up of each issue of Poise but the fact that he had a copy of Crankshaft before it was released was insane. Kurt didn’t even work for that magazine.
“Kurt has the most popular article. Why wouldn’t he get it first?” Finn asked looking completely confused.
Puck glanced towards him “Yeah but that’s fashion dude.”
“No I mean...”
“Yes fashion, his articles make Poise a lot of money. Why shouldn’t he get what he wants?” Rachel interrupted, sharing another indecipherable look with Kurt.
“Yeah but I meant....”
Rachel looked exasperated for a second then smiled sweetly at her boyfriend “Finn sweetie, would you mind getting me a drink?”
Puck leant over Kurt’s shoulder trying to read what he was looking at which was difficult considering Kurt kept inching away from him.
“You are so annoying, here.” Kurt flicked over a few pages then handed Puck the magazine folded over at Elizabeth Hudson’s page.
Puck grinned as he took the magazine and flopped onto his back, his feet resting against Kurt’s thigh “Thanks Boss.”
He glanced down at page then back up at Kurt who had the exact colour hair as the stylised cartoon. Huh, he had never noticed that before. “So you get this because you’re friends with Elizabeth Hudson?”
Kurt and Rachel both took a quick glance towards the kitchen where Finn could be heard banging and clattering.
“Something like that and no I still won’t introduce you to her.”
Puck slumped down further into the couch as he began to read the article, he wasn’t sulking of anything because dude’s like Puck never did anything as lame as sulking but damn Kurt was mean. After reading for a few minutes his mood lightened, Elizabeth Hudson had to be the funniest women in the world. At his admittedly loud snort followed by stifled laughter Kurt and Rachel stared at him in amusement.
“What? This chick is hilarious.”
Rachel grinned at Kurt “Nothing, nothing at all.”
“Breadstix tomorrow?” Finn asked as he handed Rachel a glass of juice and a cookie.
Rachel clapped her hands “Ooo then we can go over to Artie’s club.”
Finn grinned at Puck “Dude you haven’t lived until you’ve been to Breadstix!”
“I assure you, you have” Kurt drawled, flicking his eyes towards Puck.
“So what do you guys want to do this afternoon?” Finn asked.
Kurt shrugged “There’s not really much to do, especially on a Sunday.”
“We could go to the golf course” he said eagerly.
“It’s miniature golf Finn” Rachel corrected indulgently
Puck sat up, the magazine dropping onto his lap “Miniature golf?”
“Oh God, not you too?” Kurt groaned.
“What? It’s awesome.”
Finn grinned “I knew I liked you dude.”
Twenty minutes later the four of them piled into Kurt’s Navigator, Finn called shotgun but Kurt overruled him saying that his boyfriend got automatic shotgun which made Puck smirk. At least this job had some perks.
The miniature golf course was a pretty standard affair, scary clown face, big windmill and as a bonus they had the whole place to themselves apart from some high school kids who looked like they were about halfway through the course. As they approached the first hole Kurt stopped and Puck almost walked into the back of him.
“Everything okay dude?”
Kurt glanced up at him but didn’t say anything. He looked nervously across the course towards the letterman jacket wearing teenagers then stepped closer to Finn who put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.
For whatever reason that seemed to reassure Kurt who cleared his throat and smiled “So are we ready to play?”
Puck glanced at Rachel who sent Finn multiple worried looks until she noticed Puck looking at her. Plastering a smile on her face, she linked arms with Kurt and walked towards the first hole “Come on Kurt, lets kick their asses.”
That turned out to be easier said than done, Finn like Puck had obviously spent far too much time hanging around places like this as a kid. Rachel wasn’t half bad considering she hadn’t played since she was a little girl and Kurt.... well Kurt was crap.
“Oh my god, does that kid really have a mohawk?” Kurt asked in disgust as he waited for his turn.
Puck glanced over at the kids who seemed to be more interested in hitting the clown’s head than the balls. “What’s wrong with a mohawk?”
Kurt narrowed his eyes “You had one didn’t you?”
“Maybe” Puck snorted at Kurt’s grimace. “Hey I looked hot with the hawk.”
“I’m sure you did. Most people look ridiculous though.”
Not hearing any trace of sarcasm in Kurt’s voice, Puck stared at him in shock. Kurt thought he was hot? The fact that Kurt would sort of admit it was way more surprising than him actually thinking it.
“Err sure. It’s your turn kid.”
Kurt looked startled for a moment before shaking his head “Kid? I’m twenty five.”
“Yeah well you’re younger than me.”
“Not much.” Kurt gave a teasing smile “I like it better than Princess though.”
Stepping up to the hole Kurt swung the club and everyone watched as it flew backwards out of his hands, hitting Finn in the middle of the chest.
“I really don’t like this game” Kurt muttered as Rachel and Puck began to laugh hysterically.
“Neither do I when you play” Finn grumbled rubbing his chest.
“Here, let me help.”
Picking up the wayward club Puck stepped behind Kurt and wrapped his arms around him, covering soft hands with his own. Kurt flinched slightly but glanced up with a rueful smile so Puck ignored his initial reaction and continued to reposition his hands on the club. Letting go as soon as the ball was struck Puck watched as together they got Kurt’s first hole in one. He couldn’t help but smile as Rachel joined in with Kurt’s dance of joy,
Realising that they were never going to get finished if they didn’t get a move on Finn and Puck moved onto the next hole while Kurt waited for Rachel to finish her turn. This put them within earshot of the kids who were still fooling around halfway across the course.
“You’d think the fag would know what to do with a club.”
“I don’t think sucking it will improve his game” a scruffy kid replied, causing a round of high fives.
Puck grabbed onto Finn as he took a step forward with his fists clenched, and pulled him back. “Let me handle it dude.”
Making his way over to the jocks he let some of his high school persona seep through, one that had made its living through fear and intimidation. It wasn’t something he was terribly proud of now but sometimes a situation called for a badass and that was one thing that Puck knew how to be.
“You guys got a problem?”
The kid who made the comment shifted uncomfortably but tilted his chin “So what if we do?”
“Well why don’t you explain to this fag what it is?” Puck said with an edge to his voice.
“You’re gay?” one of the previously silent kids asked, completely shocked.
Puck took a step towards them and they all backed up “Let me ask you again. Do you have a problem with my boyfriend?”
The leader, a fat kid who looked like he was going to piss himself, took a quick glance towards Kurt then back at Puck who glared at him, daring him to say something.
“No” the kid mumbled. As Puck raised an eyebrow he stuttered “N-No sir.”
“I think you boys should leave. Now.” Puck watched as they scurried away then turned and made his way back towards Kurt who took a step away from Rachel and Finn.
“What was that all about?” he asked quietly. At least Kurt hadn’t heard the idiots.
“Absolutely nothing. Now let me show you how a pro does it.” Puck smiled, guiding him back towards the plastic windmill.
As suspected they didn’t manage to finish the course before the sun went down. Finn was all for playing in the dark but Rachel, Kurt and the owner who wanted to close didn’t agree. They headed back to the house stopping for take away on the way then joined Burt and Carole in the living room for a movie night.
A few hours later Puck wandered into the kitchen expecting to find Kurt but it was Carole who was standing at the sink washing dishes. Not wanting to startle her again Puck cleared his throat.
“Oh hello Noah dear. Everything okay?”
“Kurt said something about warm milk.” He didn’t really know why he was supposed to meet Kurt in the kitchen for milk but Puck figured it was easier just to do what he was told as usual.
Carole laughed quietly “It’s a ritual he started years ago to bond with Finn. It took him a while to find out that Finn can’t stand milk and was tipping it into the potted plant upstairs.”
That sounded like Kurt. Puck picked up a tea towel and began to dry the dishes on the drainer.
“Rachel said there was an incident at the golf course?” Carole asked casually but there was a tension in her shoulders which Puck didn’t miss.
“Just some kids making comments, I dealt with it.”
Carole smiled “I’m glad Kurt has you. Not that he can’t look after himself of course, I just worry.”
Puck nodded, uneasy about deceiving her for the first time “He didn’t hear them.”
“Good. Rachel said Finn was upset.”
“I have a kid sister, I know what it’s like being a protective big brother.”
Carole paused halfway through washing a glass jar “Yes Finn can be a bit protective, but then so can Kurt and technically he’s the big brother. He’s a month older than Finn.”
“How’s that possible?”
Misunderstanding she laughed “I know it sounds so wrong.”
Puck felt completely lost. How the hell was Kurt only a month older than his brother?
“I don’t understand. Is one of them adopted or something?” That would at least explain why Finn was a giant and Kurt was normal sized.
Carole gave him an odd look “Honey has Kurt not explained it? I’m his step mom, Burt and I married when they were seventeen.”
“Oh sorry I just assumed...”
“It’s a bit odd that Kurt never mentioned it” she said frowning.
Shit, his cover was this close to being blown just because Kurt didn’t think it was important to mention that his mom wasn’t really his mom.
“Well he always talks about his parents or calls you his mom so I naturally assumed...”
“He calls me his mom?” Carole interrupted.
“Sometimes yeah.”
Carole's eyes filled up “I’m sorry, I’m just so overwhelmed. I know I could never replace his mom and I’ve never expected him to call me... but that he calls me that to other people” she choked unable to finish.
Taking a minute to compose herself she continued “Finn was a baby when his dad died, Burt’s the only father he’s ever known but Kurt's mom died when he was eight.”
For the first time in his life Puck felt sorry for Kurt. He knew what it was like growing up with only one parent and it sucked. Despite the fact that his dad was as good as dead to him he didn’t know what it was like to lose a parent, especially one you loved. It had to be the worst thing ever.
Kurt walked into the room, nearly toppling over when a teary Carole threw her arms around him. Glancing between her and an amused Puck he hugged back, confusion flooding his face.
"What did you do to her?" he demanded.
"Nothing, that was all you."