Fic: The Boyfriend 1/12
Title: The Boyfriend
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt
Genre: Romance/Humour/Angst
Warning: Some swearing throughout fic. Rating will change for very last installment (a bonus missing scene).
Word Count: 2798 (out of around 56,000)
Disclaimer: Glee is not mine.
A/N: I started this fic back in May but a new job, a bereavement and a million other things got in the way so I've only just finished. Kind of perfect timing as it's set during Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Summary: Puck has been working his butt off for the last three years as a PA so when his totally ungrateful boss, Kurt Hummel, offers him his dream on a silver platter he should be happy right? The catch - he has to pretend to be Kurt's boyfriend.
Chapter One
“The Ice Princess has entered the building.”
Noah Puckerman grimaced as he set the phone down and placed his boss’ coffee on his desk along with his mail.
All he had done for the last three years was bust his ass working for Kurt Hummel and for what? The guy was a nightmare, one that constantly reminded him that he wasn’t educated, wasn’t particularly talented and that he just wasn’t good enough. If only Puck had figured out what he wanted to do with his life sooner, then maybe he could have avoided being Hummel’s bitch as he worked his way up.
It had seemed like a perfect plan, work for a couple of years as some prodigal writer’s personal assistant, show the dude his writing every now and then and hope that one day he would recommend Puck to the editor. Not that he wanted to write about mens fashion, but the company owned a shitload of different magazines including End Zone, the best selling sports magazine in the country.
As of yesterday he had submitted twelve articles to Mr Hummel and had been smacked down a grand total of twelve times. To say he hated his boss wasn’t exactly accurate; hate was much too tame a word.
The man himself walked into his office as if he was walking down a runway “My Coffee?”
“On your desk Boss.” Like it always is, every morning, for the last three years Puck refrained from adding.
He took a sip and looked up surprised “Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha. You got it right this time.”
Puck suppressed the urge to hit his boss, he got it right every time and Hummel knew it. Despite the trouble he had gotten himself into as a kid, Puck never really thought he had a problem controlling his anger until he met Hummel.
Over the last three years, Puck had developed an almost perfect technique of controlling himself by counting to ten. Lame he knew but it totally worked, most of the time. It kept him out of prison at any rate and according to Puck’s mom it was the only reason he was still alive so it definitely worked for some people.
Puck wasn’t unrealistic, he knew he had to do his time, especially since he had gone from one dead end job to another since leaving high school. Admittedly he also had a somewhat troubled past with a stint in juvie to prove to it which didn’t help matters but he sometimes wondered what he had done that was so bad that he deserved Kurt Hummel in his life.
“Are you still upset about your article not being good enough?” Hummel demanded.
People always said that there was a fine line between love and hate. Puck didn't agree.
“Not at all Boss. You have an eleven am meeting with Eileen and Marc Jacobs sent over some of their new collection that they’d like your opinion on. Otherwise your day is free for writing. Would you like anything else?”
Hummel gave him an unreadable look but he shook his head and gestured towards a pile of papers “Take those to proof read.”
Puck grabbed the enormous heap of papers then quickly walked out of the office and towards his cubicle. At least he didn’t have to work in Hummel’s office, his desk was the closest to the office but surrounded by researchers and admin workers so God did grant small mercies after all. Puck sat down glaring at the crap he was going to spend all day reading, honestly what dude cared about fashion. Oh yeah Kurt frikkin Hummel.
He sorted through the pile, a mixture of initial thoughts, fleshed out ideas and full articles written by Kurt. Reading through his work you could see why he was one of the most highly paid writers on the team, to give him his due credit he was an amazing writer. He certainly had the perks to prove it. Scouted straight out of college, the dude had been hailed as some kind of writing genius and given anything he wanted including an iron clad contract, a fancy office and his own PA to torture.
Three years on and Hummel’s opinion was sought after by some of the top designers to the extent that some days he barely had any time to write, he was so busy giving his thoughts on this collection or that shoot. Of course he also got to pick and choose which fashion shows he attended including ones in Europe, not that he ever took Puck along with him. Not that Puck was bitter. He didn’t particularly want to spend any more time with Hummel than necessary but he was sure that travelling with his boss was part of his job description or at least it should be.
After a few hours of proof reading and fact checking Puck knew far more about lederhosen than he ever needed to and apparently skinny jeans were about to make a comeback. Having watched his boss strut around in skin tight pants for the whole time he had known him, Puck was surprised that they had ever been out.
He sat at his desk munching on turkey and cranberry sandwiches and flicked through Crank Shaft, one of the other magazines which were also under the company’s umbrella. Skipping straight to his favourite author, Puck settled down to enjoy his lunch, not that he exactly got a conventional lunch break since he was on call pretty much 24/7. It was damning testimony to how much of a life he didn’t have any more that the highlight of his day was a sandwich and a car magazine.
He laughed out loud at the witty commentary which covered a double page spread, Elizabeth Hudson’s articles kicked major ass. It was too bad he was into dudes exclusively now because she really was the perfect woman, not that he had anytime to date with Hummel riding his ass day and night.
“Hello Noah.”
Puck looked up to see his boss’ soon to be sister in law looming over him “Hey Ms Berry.” He wasn’t really into musicals but according to Alice two cubicles over Berry was some sort of big deal on Broadway.
She tutted “I’ve told you before Noah, call me Rachel.”
“Sure, he’s in his office.”
He watched her stroll into the large office, then walk out again almost immediately with his boss, their arms linked. As far as Puck could tell Hummel didn’t have any friends, apart from his future sister-in-law and a brother who he mentioned occasionally that Puck had never met. He occasionally talked to some chick called Mercedes on the phone but she seemed to live in LA so Puck figured she didn’t count.
The fact that Hummel had no friends apart from a tiny, annoyingly loud woman who was as good as related to him wasn’t a surprise at all, the dude was a total workaholic. Puck couldn’t count how many times he had been called in on a weekend to do work that would have easily waited until the next week or the week after. He figured that if Hummel had no life then he wanted to make sure Puck didn’t either.
The phone rang for the umpteenth time that day and since Hummel wasn’t around to be horrified Puck wiped his hands on his trousers and reached for the receiver.
“Good Afternoon, Mr Hummel’s office.”
“Dude you are so whipped. Is the dragon out of the den yet?”
Puck grinned when he heard his friend’s voice and not another request to speak to the great Kurt Hummel. “Hey Mike, yeah he’s out to lunch. How’s it hanging?”
Mike was one of the few friends he had kept in touch with from High School and as a result was usually the first person Puck called when he needed to bitch about his slave driver boss.
“Not bad. I managed to score us some tickets for the motor show this weekend.”
“Awesome!”
“You’ll be even more excited when I tell you who’s opening it.”
“Who dude?” No, it couldn’t be. He just wasn’t that lucky.
“Elizabeth Hudson.”
Puck made a sound close to a squeal but not quite high enough and Mike laughed on the other end of the phone. He couldn’t believe his luck, he was actually going to meet his writing idol. After a few minutes of talking to Mike, far too distracted to pay much attention they said goodbye and he hung up. Puck gazed down at the stylised cartoon drawing of a woman with long chestnut brown hair reclining against a blue mustang and sighed. For all he knew Elizabeth Hudson would turn out to be a complete dog, hence the cartoon rather than a picture like everyone else had. Not that it really mattered either way since Puck hadn’t dated a chick since junior year of high school but it would be totally awesome if he got to talk to her.
Catching sight of the time in the corner of his computer screen, Puck swore and ran to the elevator impatiently hitting the down button several times as he waited for the doors to open. There were certain things Hummel expected him to do without being asked, one of them was to have a cup of coffee waiting for him whenever he arrived at the office. He couldn’t be easy like most of the other staff and just help himself to the communal coffeepot, no he had to have his fancy overpriced drinks from the coffee shop two blocks away.
Puck groaned at the length of the queue when he arrived having ran the entire way but cheered up when one of the baristas waved him over and handed him his usual order without him saying anything.
“There you go handsome” she said with a wink leaning forward so he could see right down her top.
He smiled back because it was nice to know he was still a stud even if he had no intention of taking up her blatant offer.
“Thanks Isabel” he said glancing at her name tag and handed her some notes before jogging out of the shop.
When he arrived back at work Arlene on the front desk gave him a thumbs up so he leisurely made his way up to the fifteenth floor and tried to get his breathing under control before the beast returned. Two minutes later Hummel strutted back into the office alone and Puck was standing there holding out the coffee. Their fingers briefly brushed against each other’s as the cup passed between their hands and wide blue eyes flicked up at him before quickly looking away. Hummel gently placed his bag on the desk then sat down and ignored Puck.
With a roll of his eyes Puck left the office and sat down hoping he might find a few extra minutes to do a little writing of his own. All his concentration on his computer screen, he jumped slightly as someone above him coughed. Looking up he noticed a skinny kid with thick dark hair, glasses and a bored expression.
“I’m looking for Mr Hummel’s assistant. You were pointed out to me.”
“Yeah that’s me.”
The young guy handed Puck a large parcel, shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away without saying anything else. Sighing as he saved what he had written, Puck wandered over to the office and knocked softly, attempting to avoid being told off for excessively loud knocking again.
When there was no response after a few seconds Puck opened the door and stepped in. Hummel, clearly unaware that he was no longer alone had his back to the door and was softly singing as he gazed into the tank of tropical fish. Puck slouched against the door frame listening to the end of Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. Not that he would admit it to anyone but Puck kind of liked hearing Hummel sing, it didn’t happen often but when it did it almost made him forget how much he hated the dude. Almost.
“It’s not so easy loving me” Hummel began to sing after a moment’s pause.
Puck’s snort was loud by anybody’s standards and it made Hummel spin around, knocking into the table behind him in the process. He turned back to steady the tank then shot Puck a glare over his shoulder.
“Why didn’t you knock?”
“I did” Puck replied.
“Knock louder next time.” Knock quieter. Knock louder. Puck just couldn’t win. “What do you want anyway?”
Puck cleared his throat and pushed himself off the door frame, holding out the parcel. “This came for you.”
Hummel checked his watch and frowned “Post at this time?”
“It was hand delivered.”
Hummel made a humming noise then seemed to realise who it was from “It’s probably the items Ben Dover wanted me to review.”
Puck let out a short burst of laughter then bit the inside of his cheek.
“What?” Hummel asked half way through carefully opening his package.
“Ben Dover” Puck replied with a grin. “Say it fast.”
Hummel raised an eyebrow “How old are you again?”
Puck shrugged, maybe twenty eight was a bit old to find silly names funny but at least he had some semblance of a sense of humour unlike some people.
“Is there something you want Noah?” he asked when Puck didn’t leave.
For some unknown reason Hummel insisted on calling Puck by his first name despite the fact that everyone else in the office used his nickname. Puck didn’t know why he didn’t like people using his first name, but it made him feel weird. He had been Puck to everyone, apart from his mom and sister, for so many years that hearing other people use his name seemed almost too intimate. He had tried to get Hummel to call him Puck but he had quickly accepted the inevitable that apparently now it was his mom, sister, Rachel Berry for some reason and Kurt Hummel who called him that.
“I...” Puck started before he was interrupted by the phone ringing.
“Oh hi dad. Yes I got your email.”
Hummel’s face lit up as he realised who was calling and Puck couldn’t help thinking that the dude was kind of pretty when he wasn’t glaring. He quickly shook his head, disgusted that he had thought of his boss as anything other than the prissy bitch he was. Puck started to leave the room but a curt wave of Hummel’s hand indicated that he should stay so he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room listening to the one sided conversation.
“Yes of course I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Bring?... Oh.” he glanced up looking at Puck then down at his desk.
“Umm.”
“Yes but I think he’ll be too busy.”
“Of course I’m more important than work but...”
“Can’t I just come alone?”
“I know... but.... yes.... but dad...”
“Fine okay, I’ll see you soon. Bye.”
Hummel put his head on the desk and groaned loudly. Puck cleared his throat and he quickly looked up as if suddenly remembering he wasn’t alone and started shuffling papers.
“You can take those” Hummel said waving his hand at a pile of garments that needed to be sent for photography.
Puck gathered up the clothes and left the office, deciding to mention that he wouldn’t be free that weekend when the dude was less distracted.
For the rest of the day Hummel was acting weird, like even weirder than normal and from what Puck noticed he didn’t write a single word. Instead he paced up and down his office occasionally muttering to himself. Puck wasn’t asked to do anything else, not even a coffee run, so he kept his head down and stayed out of Hummel’s way.
Once everyone else had left Puck made his way to the office and stepped inside “Hey Boss, do you need me for anything else?”
He made a point of always leaving last to show his dedication and because the dude would probably cut his balls off if he needed a coffee fix and Puck wasn’t around to provide it.
Hummel glanced up at him from behind his desk with dazed eyes and bit his lip. He stared for several seconds as if worried or unsure about something, a look that Puck had never seen before, then he straightened his shoulders and nodded.
“Yes.”
Puck sighed quietly, he had hoped to get home before eight and make a real meal rather than nuking something in the microwave yet again. He took out his PDA to take notes then nearly dropped it when Hummel spoke.
“I want you to pretend to be my boyfriend.”