+005
the water from the rain wipes my boots clean from all the mud they acquired when i went for a walk through the park. behind me, my footprints are being erased just moments after i make them and i can't help but smirk at all the irony. my surroundings are deciding to match my mood again, and feeling worthless is only emphasized when even your footprints can't remain. i stagger, dizzy in the way that only crying a lot can make you lose your balance, and i lean against my front porch. my eyes are heavy and burning, my temples tensed, a headache sweeping in immediately. i can hardly breathe and under the cover of the overhangs i realize i'm dry enough to light a cigarette. unlike most people i know, i can't 'light a cigarette in a fuckin' hurricane.' so it takes me much longer. but when it is finally lit, i appreciate that first drag even more. and as each inhale magnifies the orange colour burning in the cherry of the cigarette, i am only reminded of all the things i've lost.