(no subject)
Paint. Plan. Design. Act. Improvise. Create. Hate. Love. Start. Stop. Obsess. Rethink. React. Scream. Squeak. Laugh. Hug. Push. Hit. Socialize. Hide. Hate. Negotiate. Hate. Forget. Love. Swoon. Obsess. Create. Rethink. Create. Love. Hate.
Out of one boiling pot and into another.
I guess no matter what you do in life, you stare into this gaping hole of self-reflection and criticism. Sometimes the thing reflected back is pleasing, sometimes it rides the line between pleasing and concerning, and other times it's just down right frustrating. I guess for me it's particularly frustrating because it is impossible for me to objectively judge myself. I can't always trust the words of others, either, whether they be good or bad. I have to take everything with a grain of salt - my thoughts, the thoughts of others. This dialog is an exhausting one...but persistent.
Which is maybe all a fancy way of saying - I am feeling creatively tapped and frazzled. I feel paranoid and unsatisfied. I guess I just need a few days of...quiet contemplation?
Regardless, I am going on detox. Healthy eating and drinking. Lots of water, sleep, and exercise. My body and brain are bruised and I am once again on that terrible ledge overlooking a black abyss.
Out of one boiling pot and into another.
I guess no matter what you do in life, you stare into this gaping hole of self-reflection and criticism. Sometimes the thing reflected back is pleasing, sometimes it rides the line between pleasing and concerning, and other times it's just down right frustrating. I guess for me it's particularly frustrating because it is impossible for me to objectively judge myself. I can't always trust the words of others, either, whether they be good or bad. I have to take everything with a grain of salt - my thoughts, the thoughts of others. This dialog is an exhausting one...but persistent.
Which is maybe all a fancy way of saying - I am feeling creatively tapped and frazzled. I feel paranoid and unsatisfied. I guess I just need a few days of...quiet contemplation?
Regardless, I am going on detox. Healthy eating and drinking. Lots of water, sleep, and exercise. My body and brain are bruised and I am once again on that terrible ledge overlooking a black abyss.