not meme
Didn't feel like doing the meme thing, since most of the folks I'm friended to/who read this journal are not folks I've met in the Real World. Also, I just spent the last two hours attempting to look qualified for a position I'm not entirely qualified for, the TD/Shop manager gig over at my alma mater, which I mentioned last post.
Instead, because it made Bonnie laugh and she pointed out I should share it with at least one Dave, I'm posting this:
Someday there will be a world famous rock band made up of 37 middleaged men. Each and every one of them will be named "Dave".
Three Daves will play rhythm guitar. Two will be on bass. Fourteen Daves will play the flugel horn, but not well. Eight Daves will play the triangle (of varying sizes, of course), five will play the drums (one Dave on each, sharing the cymbals), four Daves will alternate between playing lead guitar and saxophone. One Dave will dance awkwardly on the sidelines with a broken tamborine. All thirty-seven will sing back up.
Their lead singer will be a twelve year old girl named Claudette. She will not be permitted to be on stage with the Daves (nor would she fit), but sing from the wings, with a state of the art video feed showing the audience an overweight opera diva instead.
This band of Daves will perform for sell out audiences in stadiums all over the world. Their fans will wear t-shirts that say "I want to be a Dave!". Security forces at the gate will insure that no extra Daves are allowed onto the premises, only the thirty-seven band Daves can be present.
But one day, several years after the band of Daves' controversial press conference (without Claudette) proclaiming themselves to be "bigger than the Rolling Stones, the Grateful Dead, and the Beatles performing live, together, one last time, on the outer ring of Jupiter", the elite security force will fail.
A single, extra Dave will be allowed into the audience.
Extra Dave will make his way through the mob of screaming teenie boppers and past the aging hippies. He'll successfully navigate the dangerous mosh pits, and crowd surf over compacted mass of fans in the standing room only, and drop down to his feet, three feet to the left of one of the massive speaker blocks. He will look up at the stage, and he will catch Tamborine Dave's eye.
And the stadium will reach critical Dave levels.
Spontaneously, the front most members of the crowd will transform into Daves. The effect will ripple backward and forward over the entire audience of the concert, transforming the moshers, the hippies, the teenie boppers, the parents dragged along to chaperone, and even the elite security force into Daves. As more and more Daves come into existence, the effect's range will grow larger, and begin to move faster, until, twenty-nine minutes after Extra Dave ducked through security, the entire population of the world will become Dave.
With, of course, the exception of Claudette, who doesn't exist.
(random thanks to Just, Blonde, Nameless, Big, Un, Tequilla, Smurf, Mini, and all the other Daves who are slavishly devoted to the prevention of critical Dave mass.)
Instead, because it made Bonnie laugh and she pointed out I should share it with at least one Dave, I'm posting this:
Someday there will be a world famous rock band made up of 37 middleaged men. Each and every one of them will be named "Dave".
Three Daves will play rhythm guitar. Two will be on bass. Fourteen Daves will play the flugel horn, but not well. Eight Daves will play the triangle (of varying sizes, of course), five will play the drums (one Dave on each, sharing the cymbals), four Daves will alternate between playing lead guitar and saxophone. One Dave will dance awkwardly on the sidelines with a broken tamborine. All thirty-seven will sing back up.
Their lead singer will be a twelve year old girl named Claudette. She will not be permitted to be on stage with the Daves (nor would she fit), but sing from the wings, with a state of the art video feed showing the audience an overweight opera diva instead.
This band of Daves will perform for sell out audiences in stadiums all over the world. Their fans will wear t-shirts that say "I want to be a Dave!". Security forces at the gate will insure that no extra Daves are allowed onto the premises, only the thirty-seven band Daves can be present.
But one day, several years after the band of Daves' controversial press conference (without Claudette) proclaiming themselves to be "bigger than the Rolling Stones, the Grateful Dead, and the Beatles performing live, together, one last time, on the outer ring of Jupiter", the elite security force will fail.
A single, extra Dave will be allowed into the audience.
Extra Dave will make his way through the mob of screaming teenie boppers and past the aging hippies. He'll successfully navigate the dangerous mosh pits, and crowd surf over compacted mass of fans in the standing room only, and drop down to his feet, three feet to the left of one of the massive speaker blocks. He will look up at the stage, and he will catch Tamborine Dave's eye.
And the stadium will reach critical Dave levels.
Spontaneously, the front most members of the crowd will transform into Daves. The effect will ripple backward and forward over the entire audience of the concert, transforming the moshers, the hippies, the teenie boppers, the parents dragged along to chaperone, and even the elite security force into Daves. As more and more Daves come into existence, the effect's range will grow larger, and begin to move faster, until, twenty-nine minutes after Extra Dave ducked through security, the entire population of the world will become Dave.
With, of course, the exception of Claudette, who doesn't exist.
(random thanks to Just, Blonde, Nameless, Big, Un, Tequilla, Smurf, Mini, and all the other Daves who are slavishly devoted to the prevention of critical Dave mass.)