(no subject)
Oof, I haven't been updating much this year at all. Things are pretty good I guess. I've been gaining weight for no apparent reason that I can discern, other than stress and getting older, and I don't fit into half my clothes and I've been kind of freaking out about it. I don't even know what to change about my diet or lifestyle because I already really strive to eat healthy and exercise as much as I possibly can. So I feel sorta stuck. I don't even feel "fat", I just don't want to give up and gain more weight and have to buy a whole new wardrobe because nothing fits me anymore.
I met a guy at the 90's dance party I said I would be attending in my last entry. The dance party itself was a total blast, I went with Jamie and Sami and we danced our asses off. Meeting Trevor was a nice bonus. He started talking to Sami on the dance floor and she came up to me and was like "DUDE THAT GUY SEEMS REALLY COOL AND I TOLD HIM YOU WERE SINGLE", and I was like "Um that's nice but I'm 90% sure that guy's gay". And it took me the rest of the night to become convinced that he was actually straight, haha. But we ended up talking the whole night and exchanging numbers, and we went on a date the following weekend aaaand the rest is history. It's been almost three months already and I'm very happy. He's adorable, super smart, affectionate, funny, a musician, and has a beard...checks all the boxes for me.
Emily and Jenny are coming down from Phoenix this weekend, yayyy. We're going to go see Joywave (Emily's current musical obsession), and I'm bringing Trevor along. He's met most of my other close friends but it's high time for him to meet my best friend and my sister/friend. I'm so stoked.
Work is...alright. We finally got a new program manager. I wasn't too impressed with her at first (she's kind of a corporate robot type) but she's been growing on me. We just really really really need more staff. I've been working 50 hours a week for 4 months now, and the overtime is great but I don't want to work this much forever. All of my coworkers are working as much or even more than me, and we're all so burned out and our work performance suffers because of it. My boss said she's working on getting us 3 or 4 more floor staff, I just hope it actually happens soon.
Last week was rough. It was the anniversary of Joel and my aunt Betty's deaths, and I was an emotional wreck...especially about Joel, even though it's been 11 years now and you'd think it would be getting easier. I think losing a client to a heroin overdose this year brought back a lot of the grief I experienced when I lost Joel the same way. I went to visit his grave and I cried more than I have in a long time. You can just tell that people don't really go to his grave anymore. This time and the last time I went with Serena over a year ago, his grave marker was all covered in dirt and weeds and looked...forgotten. It made me so sad thinking about how magnetic and charismatic he was and how much people loved him when he was alive, and now it's almost like he didn't even exist. It doesn't seem fair.
I met a guy at the 90's dance party I said I would be attending in my last entry. The dance party itself was a total blast, I went with Jamie and Sami and we danced our asses off. Meeting Trevor was a nice bonus. He started talking to Sami on the dance floor and she came up to me and was like "DUDE THAT GUY SEEMS REALLY COOL AND I TOLD HIM YOU WERE SINGLE", and I was like "Um that's nice but I'm 90% sure that guy's gay". And it took me the rest of the night to become convinced that he was actually straight, haha. But we ended up talking the whole night and exchanging numbers, and we went on a date the following weekend aaaand the rest is history. It's been almost three months already and I'm very happy. He's adorable, super smart, affectionate, funny, a musician, and has a beard...checks all the boxes for me.
Emily and Jenny are coming down from Phoenix this weekend, yayyy. We're going to go see Joywave (Emily's current musical obsession), and I'm bringing Trevor along. He's met most of my other close friends but it's high time for him to meet my best friend and my sister/friend. I'm so stoked.
Work is...alright. We finally got a new program manager. I wasn't too impressed with her at first (she's kind of a corporate robot type) but she's been growing on me. We just really really really need more staff. I've been working 50 hours a week for 4 months now, and the overtime is great but I don't want to work this much forever. All of my coworkers are working as much or even more than me, and we're all so burned out and our work performance suffers because of it. My boss said she's working on getting us 3 or 4 more floor staff, I just hope it actually happens soon.
Last week was rough. It was the anniversary of Joel and my aunt Betty's deaths, and I was an emotional wreck...especially about Joel, even though it's been 11 years now and you'd think it would be getting easier. I think losing a client to a heroin overdose this year brought back a lot of the grief I experienced when I lost Joel the same way. I went to visit his grave and I cried more than I have in a long time. You can just tell that people don't really go to his grave anymore. This time and the last time I went with Serena over a year ago, his grave marker was all covered in dirt and weeds and looked...forgotten. It made me so sad thinking about how magnetic and charismatic he was and how much people loved him when he was alive, and now it's almost like he didn't even exist. It doesn't seem fair.