At work
I am at work on lunch and instead of eating I am here journaling. Mom is coming out of the hospital today and I am have to go pick her up. I have not written much about her being sick. I am not getting emotionally involved with it as I do not want to be depressed. I believe she will be okay and she will need some care. I cannot grasp the idea of my moms life being endangered. I cannot see that reality. I have alot to do with the boys and work and my own idiosyncrasies and I can't take that into my brain right now. I hope all gets better soon.
I want to be beautiful healthy and strong. I am not doing too well on those goals at the moment. So I look to tomorrow. I am very numb right now and Kind of feeling alone. Like I cannot relate to anyone at all. I am glad Erica returned to Phoenix. For all the weirdness with her crew she has always been a nurturing soul. I need that now. Ali has a girlfriend he moved in with in Chandler and did not give me the courtesy of an alert. Fucking bastard. Oh Well. I was warned. Good thing he was mister rebound and nothing more.
Abdul called my phone and asked to speak to Ajmal a few weeks ago. Ajmal spazzed on him and was like I dont want to speak to you not now not ever. I did no teach him that. But apparently he is upset that his dad treated me like shit when we were together, and he saw the pic of me pregnant with a black eye. He is very protective of me and he shows it. Abdul thinks I set out to make AJ Hate him. I did not. But I did not cover his wrongs. I guess I was expected to.
Anyway.. Lunch is over. I will write more later. I hope this day zooms by. I cannot wait to be in my bed watching Lord Of the Rings. Alone. Away from this world around me.
~Liv
I want to be beautiful healthy and strong. I am not doing too well on those goals at the moment. So I look to tomorrow. I am very numb right now and Kind of feeling alone. Like I cannot relate to anyone at all. I am glad Erica returned to Phoenix. For all the weirdness with her crew she has always been a nurturing soul. I need that now. Ali has a girlfriend he moved in with in Chandler and did not give me the courtesy of an alert. Fucking bastard. Oh Well. I was warned. Good thing he was mister rebound and nothing more.
Abdul called my phone and asked to speak to Ajmal a few weeks ago. Ajmal spazzed on him and was like I dont want to speak to you not now not ever. I did no teach him that. But apparently he is upset that his dad treated me like shit when we were together, and he saw the pic of me pregnant with a black eye. He is very protective of me and he shows it. Abdul thinks I set out to make AJ Hate him. I did not. But I did not cover his wrongs. I guess I was expected to.
Anyway.. Lunch is over. I will write more later. I hope this day zooms by. I cannot wait to be in my bed watching Lord Of the Rings. Alone. Away from this world around me.
~Liv