"Ivan who? Ivan who? Sam? Sam?!"
The only way I know how to write in French is crazily. I can talk normally about my day, who's going to the cinema, and what Jessica likes to listen to, but it is basically impossible for me to be anything but an emphatic lunatic when I'm trying to write a paper of any length about a more serious topic. I am currently trying to force out a two-pager on the environment, and what I have so far is basically this:
People are the cause of many problems in the world, and some of these problems that we have caused are with the environment. There is much pollution in the world-it's pollution from factories, from cars, from boats, and from trains. Who invented all these inventions? It was us. Who is using all these inventions? It's us.
That is the dumbest thing I have ever read. That is probably the dumbest thing I have ever written. But will that stop me from continuing on like this for the rest of the two pages? Absolutely not. Because I somehow completely missed the lesson where everyone else was taught that French is actually a serious language, and now I find that idea impossible to comprehend. I pity my teacher for having to read this crap.
In an attempt to distract myself from my French paper, I have been exploring the joys of voice commands on my iMac. It's been very amusing, I assure you. I've called my computer about eighteen different names since I started all this, trying to find one it recognizes easily. "Computer," which is what Apple suggests, was too long. "Hey you!" seemed to annoy the thing, as it rarely responded. "Vicki," Apple's name for the computerized voice that responds to the speaker, ended up being too complicated for it to understand more than 50% of the time. After a few more tries, I finally came up with "Sam," the shortest, simplest name I could think of, and it appears to be working out fairly well.
Now that I've got it working, I keep hiding and switching between applications solely to amuse myself. It really doesn't help that Sam has a knack for knock-knock jokes and misunderstands coughs as "back" and laughter as "page up." It's a riot.
You know, I never did find out the answer to my question about Ivan. Sam eventually gave up trying to understand and told me to go back to work. What a pal.
People are the cause of many problems in the world, and some of these problems that we have caused are with the environment. There is much pollution in the world-it's pollution from factories, from cars, from boats, and from trains. Who invented all these inventions? It was us. Who is using all these inventions? It's us.
That is the dumbest thing I have ever read. That is probably the dumbest thing I have ever written. But will that stop me from continuing on like this for the rest of the two pages? Absolutely not. Because I somehow completely missed the lesson where everyone else was taught that French is actually a serious language, and now I find that idea impossible to comprehend. I pity my teacher for having to read this crap.
In an attempt to distract myself from my French paper, I have been exploring the joys of voice commands on my iMac. It's been very amusing, I assure you. I've called my computer about eighteen different names since I started all this, trying to find one it recognizes easily. "Computer," which is what Apple suggests, was too long. "Hey you!" seemed to annoy the thing, as it rarely responded. "Vicki," Apple's name for the computerized voice that responds to the speaker, ended up being too complicated for it to understand more than 50% of the time. After a few more tries, I finally came up with "Sam," the shortest, simplest name I could think of, and it appears to be working out fairly well.
Now that I've got it working, I keep hiding and switching between applications solely to amuse myself. It really doesn't help that Sam has a knack for knock-knock jokes and misunderstands coughs as "back" and laughter as "page up." It's a riot.
You know, I never did find out the answer to my question about Ivan. Sam eventually gave up trying to understand and told me to go back to work. What a pal.