Welcome Back Kotter!
Hey everyone! It's been since 8/28/06 since I LJ'd! I gotta admit, I missed it. I post blogs on MySpace, but I don't always say what I'm really feeling because there are some people on there that I work with etc, that I don't really want to know what's up.
So how the hell has everyone been? I know it's not like I have a lot of LJ friends, but even so, I like to journal. We'll start with how I'm currently feeling...
My mom sold her house. As of this week her and my bro were out. It was a choice. She realized that my brother is leaving for college next year and since she's supposedly "getting old" (she's a VERY young 52) she doesn't want to have to be the only one to take care of the house. Also, in selling the house, she could pay off ALL of her bills and still have a VERY significant amount in the bank.
That's all well and good, but it truly broke my fuckin heart. Ask Mitch, I cried for HOURS when I heard the news and had a tough time dealing with it since then. I decided to block it out of my head and try to not pay any attention to it at all, but it was inevitable I was going to hear bits and pieces of things.
My mom knows and understands my broken heart, she feels bad, but it's what she's gotta do to make herself live comfortably and I have no qualms about that whatsoever. I just know how hard she worked for that house. Until I was 17 I had always lived in apartments, my bro and I shared a room, wasn't a problem, then she finally bought a house and the years spent in that house were some of the most important and memorable years in our lives.
The memories I take from that house are so significant. Every time I moved out, whether it was across town or across country and it didn't work out, where was it that I returned to? My moms house. That was part of the excitement about coming home. I loved that house. I loved my room. And as I grew older and my mom went off to Iraq and that house became my responsibility, I grew to appreciate the things that once seemed non-existantly (<------not a real word!) important to me.
I'm excited and happy for her. I'm glad she has a sense of feeling free again. That must be a great feeling to know that you don't have to worry about a mortgage, car payment, or any other major bills. But still, I'm broken hearted.
My mom fell and broke her knee cap in 3 places in December and early January I was there to take care of her and help her around the house. I didn't realize that would be my last chance in that house. I remember when I left that house to be with Mitch, I cried hard because although I'd be missing my friends and family, I'd also be missing that house. And when Mitch and I went on vacation to see my mom a few months later, he loaded up the rental car with our luggage as I sat on my bed in my bedroom sobbing because I didn't want to leave that house.
What sucks is that I can't return. Not for one last goodbye. January was it. I just can't fuckin believe it. I know some people might be reading this and thinking "how fucking pathetic she is" and I don't care because it's my journal, so fuck off. LoL jk...kinda.
Anyways, that's pretty much it for now. Other exciting things are...wedding plans. Wahoo! Fun stuff! It's gonna be really exciting! LMMFAO!!! I'm watching Wayne's World right now and it was the part where they're in the room and Garth holds the microphone up to his mouth and he's like "Your landing gear is down!" and Wayne is making motor noises.
I'm easily amused. Talk to you guys later....
<3 Aubrey