The Ahren Legacy: 3.6
[No, not the pizza man, Cecil.]
warnings: lots of f bombs, references to the devil, and violence
Omg! It's been too long. I keep telling myself I'm going to get this update out but I keep pushing it aside. Anyway, last time we saw the dysfunctional Ahren family, Beck & Sexy Maid continued their ~forbidden romance~ behind Bellamy's back. Obviously he ended up finding that his husband was secretly boning the maid and wasn't very happy about it, but he got over it. Cordelia grew up into a BEAUTIFUL teen. I'm very pleased with the blend of her parents she is. Camden grew up well which shouldn't still be a surprise to me, but is anyway. Cecil grew into a teen (also beautiful, no surprise there) and everybody got rejected from private school. Let's begin!
We're gonna start off this update with a lil' old fashioned sister bonding.
Cordelia: What do you mean you're gonna be heir? I'M gonna be heir!
Cressida: Whore.
My bb Beck's birthday is here already. :( I feel like just yesterday (actually over two months ago, hah) he was a little baby Beck with a combover.
Beck: There goes my youth. :D
Cressida: Hiii dad, LOL.
Don't worry, elder Beck is still very adorable.
Cece, did you just pee on the floor?
Cecil: Don't look at me, I'm not the one with a suddenly weak bladder.
True.
Camden: omg is that grandpa..?
Look out, Michael's on the loose tonight.
Cecil & Cordelia: *very serious pillow fight*
Alright then, girls.
No but really, I think it's Cecil peeing on the floor. Cordelia was nice enough to mop it up.
Cressida: *deep voice* DO YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAN? *normal voice* Me? I'd love to! :D
C'mon guys, this gen's fight track record was doing so well!
Cordelia: HE STOLE MY CHEERIOS!
Camden: DID NOT, YOU LYING HARLET!
:(
Cordelia: You cannot defeat the devil's chosen child... >:D
You know, I believe that.
Bellamy: That was so cool how you whooped Cam's ass! You're now my favorite child.
Cordelia: Cool thanks, congrats on the house by the way.
Why are you so random?
Cordelia: You hungry, Cress? EAT PILLOW FEATHERS, BITCHHH!
Cressida: OW!
Cressida: WHAT THE FUCK, DELIA.
Cordelia: You mean you don't like feathers? DOES NOT COMPUTE.
Camden: WAAAHHH! CORDELIA IS SO MEAN TO ME. ;___;
Good thing grilled cheese sandwiches makes everything all better.
Cecil: Pssst... Cressy. Do you think the devil lives inside Cordelia?
Cressida: I dunno, probably.
Cecil: They're on to us... Act like you said something funny! Hehe, you're so funny, Cressy!
Bellamy: I wonder if they'll ever eat breakfast clothed. :)
Keep dreaming, Bell.
Camden: Where you guys talking about Cordelia? Cuz I've got a few things to say about her.
Hang on a minute, Cam. Let's just zoom in on your face.
yup, there we go.
Cordelia's just a misunderstood teen, I'm sure. Look at how innocent she is playing with Catty. :3
Cordelia: Ready to plan world domination, my minion?
It's Calvin's daughter! It's nice seeing the spare's kids around. This is Caitlin incase you didn't remember.
Cecil immediately asked her to play red hands with her.
Beck: What a beautiful snowy day, it is.
Yeah, sure. Do you notice Lucifer the frozen fiend outside?
Cordelia: We should totally hook up, guy with a beard! :D
Cecil: *loud chewing*
Cordelia: Oh my god, she is SO GROSS when she eats like that!
At least she's got cool alien eyes, unlike you.
Bearded Man: Hmm... To tap a teenager or not... She's got nice tits, tho.
Cressida: I WILL MURDER HER!!! :D *SEETHE*
I found these two playing rock paper scissors in the bathroom.
Cecil: Woo! Paper covers rock, I win!
Cressida: CURSE THESE HANDS!
Cordelia: Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
Cordelia's 16 and still throwing tantrums...
Cordelia: If you were never born, this family would have more money! *slapity slap*
Cressida: The fuck are you talking about? I WAS BORN BEFORE YOU!
Cordelia: She was? I am SO confused!
Poor girl.
Cordelia: LITERALLY!
Another fight. Sigh.
Lucifer the Frozen Fiend got a brother.
I don't think I've ever mentioned this, but Beck's LTW is to become Education Minister. For over 3/4 of his adult life, I've been trying to find a job in the education career with no luck. So I gave in and cheated to give him the job. YOUR MOVE, TS2.
Cecil: I love yooou, kitty!
Cinnamon: I love blood.
I finally remember this cat's name. It's Cinnamon. :3
Cordelia: Fuck food. The devil only devours the souls of the innocent.
Sexy Maid: Heeey, employer's daughter!
Cordelia: GET OUTTA MAH HEAD!
Bellamy's still a primper, in case you were wondering.
Bellamy: Muah! Muah!
Cordelia: That's it! I'm gonna murder someone, dad!
Bellamy: *sighhh* Delia, would you please stop overreacting?
I dunno, I think she's serious.
Cressida: You can't kill me if I kill you first!
OH SNAP!
Cordelia: WITH THE DEVIL ON MY SIDE, I AM UNSTOPPABLE!
Bellamy: Look at dem, my kids interacting. I did good. :)
*facepalm*
I forgot to show you this, but I got a picture with Bellamy and Beck in the photobooth.
Cuties!
Teenage twins Carly and Charlie came over after school.
Here's Charlie. They're so cute!
Cordelia: I'm so hungry..!
But I thought the devil only devours the souls of the innocent?
Cordelia: As soon as this tree moves, I'mma fuck this bitch up. *cracks knuckles*
Cordelia: Give me your lunch money, whore!
Cecil: Ow, my eyes!
How the fuck does that make you guys best friends?
Cecil: I don't hold grudges.
Cordelia: Maybe if I try hard enough, I'll be able to eat this floating green smiley face.
Cecil: Psyche! TIME TO DIE! :D
This family used to be so peaceful.
Let's focus on how cute Carly is instead of all the fighting.
I look away for one second and then... BECK'S ASS CAUGHT ON FIRE.
Beck: Would'ya look at that. My ass is on fire.
Beck: HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! OH MY GOD!
Bellamy: OMG WHAT TO DO???
-___-
Thank god for these sprinklers.
Beck: :(
Poor bb. It just hasn't been his day.
Bellamy: Woah! I'm feelin' all tingly and weird!
It's called old age, genius.
WHAT A BIRTHDAY, I TOTALLY DID NOT EXPECT THIS.
I was gonna give him a makeover, but he wanted to eat dinner and I wasn't gonna stop him from that rare occasion.
BAM! He's got shinier hair and a more prominent beard, but I think he looks great.
Bellamy: Birthday snowman! :D
Whatever you want, Bell.
Cecil: Mmm... This onion sure looks mighty appetizing...
WHAT? NO, PLEASE--
Cecil: *SNARF SNARF*
Cecil: Mmm! Reminds me of home.
I... I have no words...
Cecil: THIS ACNE MAKES ME ANGRY!
Well maybe you shouldn't eat out of the trash can..? Just a thought.
This is what I find when I follow Cecil around the house. The only normal child is Camden, but that's no fun.
Lucifer the Snowman: SATAN SEES ALL.
Cressida: Wheee! I looove my family!
That's a lie and you know it.
Cecil: *HURL*
Cecil's got food poisoning from the garbage can food. Good luck with that, Cece. Your uncle Braden has had food poisoning since he was 12. There's no getting rid of it.
Cressida: A whole pizza, just for me!
Camden: Can I just have one piece, Cressy? I am sooo hungry!
Cecil: HOT DAMN, THAT'S ONE FIIINE PIECE OF ASS.
That's how I imagined that situation went.
Cordelia: Oh, hello sister. You've got pizza, I see.
Cressida: Yup, but not for you.
Cordelia: I WILL END YOU. :D
Here's a nice lil' family dinner photo without any violence.
... a little friendly game of red hands.
Cressida: I HATE MY FAMILY SO! MUCH!
Well, that peace didn't last very long.
Cressida: Hi... Grandma?
Aubrey: :D
Aw, my bb! I've missed her pretty face and general helpfulness around the house.
Cressida: Move! I gotta take a piss!
Cecil: I just realized that I actually hate my alien sister and must terminate her...
Camden: Damn I'm hot. I'm totally gonna win heir poll. Who can resist these pecks?
Cordelia: Good luck with that, Cameron.
I'm gonna end it here. I'm so sorry it took me this long to get this update out and typed! I'm still doing my black widow challenge, but I think I'm gonna give it a little break for a while so that I can focus mainly on this legacy. NEXT UPDATE will contain the heir poll. Are you as excited as I am? I'll try to have that out by this time next week. As always, thanks for reading!
ISBI Stats:
Torch-Holders: 2
Perma-Plat Sims: 1
Shrink Visits: 4
Fires: 3
Self-Wettings: 7
Pass-Outs: 5
Food Naps: 3
Fights: 5
Accidental Deaths: 3
Resurrections: 3
Social Worker Visits: 0
Social Bunny Visits: 0
~*~ ---------------------------------------- ~*~