2006
So the new year is here. Another year to try to get life right.
Things have been hard emotionally, for me lately. The breakup with Mike this past fall was especially hard and something I still don't entirely understand. I may never understand. I know that I've cried a whole river of tears over this one. But, I decided that as of 12-31-05 at 24:59 I would put him and the past year behind me and let it go. I'd start fresh this year and be happy for the great times and memories I had/have with him.
...And then on 1-2-06 he called me...We talked a bit and he seemed strange. Kind of like he was touching base and like he was letting me know he didn't forget that this was out 'anniversary' time of the year. He hinted around that he was going to start living life again now that his sons are older and it made me wonder if he wanted me to know this for a reason or just in conversation with a friend he is comfortable with. It doesn't matter at this point in time. If he wants more, he'll make it happen. I have let a lot of those feelings and emotions go and I'm not so sad as I was. I just kept in mind that old adage; "If you love someone let them go...". And so I have. If he comes back to me then I'll know it was meant to be. I'll love him no matter what state we are in.
Resolutions: Lose more weight. I've nearly met my goal. Quit smoking. Find happiness. The latter shall be the hardest but I know its out there.
So I'm curious to find what this new year has in store. Time will tell.
Things have been hard emotionally, for me lately. The breakup with Mike this past fall was especially hard and something I still don't entirely understand. I may never understand. I know that I've cried a whole river of tears over this one. But, I decided that as of 12-31-05 at 24:59 I would put him and the past year behind me and let it go. I'd start fresh this year and be happy for the great times and memories I had/have with him.
...And then on 1-2-06 he called me...We talked a bit and he seemed strange. Kind of like he was touching base and like he was letting me know he didn't forget that this was out 'anniversary' time of the year. He hinted around that he was going to start living life again now that his sons are older and it made me wonder if he wanted me to know this for a reason or just in conversation with a friend he is comfortable with. It doesn't matter at this point in time. If he wants more, he'll make it happen. I have let a lot of those feelings and emotions go and I'm not so sad as I was. I just kept in mind that old adage; "If you love someone let them go...". And so I have. If he comes back to me then I'll know it was meant to be. I'll love him no matter what state we are in.
Resolutions: Lose more weight. I've nearly met my goal. Quit smoking. Find happiness. The latter shall be the hardest but I know its out there.
So I'm curious to find what this new year has in store. Time will tell.