Realizations
As I sit here in my computer chair, realizing that my house is in a huge dissaray, I find that I am actually content. I am finally going to be moving onto adulthood. No longer will people see me as a child. I can't imagine it any other way.
I will get a car finally, start college and begin to find that independence that has long eluded me. I have wanted to be independent but I couldn't do it, my mother was sick and I just wasn't ready. I am growing more independent now because I am going to be. I want to hit clubs with my friends, I want to drive around aimlessly because I feel like it. I want to go to the beach in the middle of the night if I want to and sit there and appreciate the beauty and solitude that life can bring. I want to go to work and make money so my parents aren't so burdened with my tuition and loans. I want to know that I can take care of myself so should they need me I can care for them as well.
There are things in Florida I want to do that I couldn't do here in Pennsylvania and they are:
1. Meet the right guy (for once)
2. Sit on the beach at night and write poetry
3. Drive around with my friends
4. Go to clubs and have a good time.
I want to meet that right person who will treat me to those special things that money can't buy and even if they tried in movies to recreate, it just couldn't be done. Moments like that have to be treasured and created.
The perfect date for me, believe it or not, would be dinner...a picnic on the beach...and time spent with that person, talking or just sitting there in perfect silence. Ah, how these things shall always elude me...I shall never understand why...I am denied such simple pleasures.
Easy--I am not skinny and beautiful...I am myself in my short and fat little frame...and that's what people don't much like. I wish that people liked me for the person I am. I have my friends, Lord knows, but I just wish other people would look at me and accept me as I am.
Adieu, mon amours!
I will get a car finally, start college and begin to find that independence that has long eluded me. I have wanted to be independent but I couldn't do it, my mother was sick and I just wasn't ready. I am growing more independent now because I am going to be. I want to hit clubs with my friends, I want to drive around aimlessly because I feel like it. I want to go to the beach in the middle of the night if I want to and sit there and appreciate the beauty and solitude that life can bring. I want to go to work and make money so my parents aren't so burdened with my tuition and loans. I want to know that I can take care of myself so should they need me I can care for them as well.
There are things in Florida I want to do that I couldn't do here in Pennsylvania and they are:
1. Meet the right guy (for once)
2. Sit on the beach at night and write poetry
3. Drive around with my friends
4. Go to clubs and have a good time.
I want to meet that right person who will treat me to those special things that money can't buy and even if they tried in movies to recreate, it just couldn't be done. Moments like that have to be treasured and created.
The perfect date for me, believe it or not, would be dinner...a picnic on the beach...and time spent with that person, talking or just sitting there in perfect silence. Ah, how these things shall always elude me...I shall never understand why...I am denied such simple pleasures.
Easy--I am not skinny and beautiful...I am myself in my short and fat little frame...and that's what people don't much like. I wish that people liked me for the person I am. I have my friends, Lord knows, but I just wish other people would look at me and accept me as I am.
Adieu, mon amours!