Hairdressers
As a little coda to the last post, I thought I’d also share one of the longest, most inane and therefore probably best hairdresser anecdotes I’ve ever overheard.
This was yesterday, when I was in for my usual cut-and-blow dry. Personally, I view getting a haircut as a fairly taciturn affair, unless I’ve got to know the hairdresser a bit. To be fair, I have become reasonably friendly with the woman who usually cuts my hair but she’s on maternity leave and I don’t know the woman filling in for her, so it was the usual small talk, a bit of discussion about what I wanted and that was it.
That being said, it’s a pretty well established stereotype that people will treat the person cutting their hair like a therapist-cum-sounding board.
And the woman at the next station was the epitome of that stereotype.
I was there for an hour, and I don’t think she actually drew breath in that entire period. I now know, for example, the names and ages of both her kids. I know she regrets the colour she chose to paint her front room. I know she was raised by a single mother and has at least a couple of siblings. I know her partner comes from a slightly more middle class background and had more opportunities than she did growing up.
Beyond that, I know the older one, who’s 12, is currently starring in his school production of Oliver. I know he’s “very musical” (there was a lot of not-very-subtle humble bragging interspersed with these revelations) and plays guitar and piano and wants to learn the violin. I know that the mother doesn’t want him to learn violin because a) it’ll mean more commitment and time on lessons, (and you know, he’s already in eight rehearsals a week because he’s starring in Oliver, and did she also mention he’s in Oliver and he has eight rehearsals a week?) and b) she doesn’t want to have to listen to the early screechy phase. But oh, what if he’s a virtuoso and just doesn’t know it and she’s keeping him from it?! And you know, her friend who has two older kids told her to just do it and she was like, nooo!
I also know that she considers him a “deep thinker” who’s sensitive and deeply affected by things and that’s why it’s a good thing he’s in Oliver because now he’s interacting with older kids and he’ll just get so much out of that. And you know, they just love him too, and they all look out for him in the corridors.
I know he’s good at swimming but not really good enough (in her opinion) to go beyond the local level so if he’s not going to go all the way they might as well ditch that in favour of music and drama. (Not to judge, but you know, kind of to judge, this woman had Stage Mother written all over her…)
I know the older kid also has a chance to go to the Ardeche on a canoeing trip with school but that it’s very expensive (I didn’t catch the exact price, the hairdryer overpowered it) but she just knows he’ll get so much out of it so they’ll have to send him.
This was when the younger kid, who’s eight, was first mentioned; up to that point I’d assumed the other one must be an only child. I then learned the younger one really isn’t such a deep thinker, he’s just practical and gets on with things and he’s just not as passionate as the older one. I know the older one apparently resents this because, you know, he is so deep and he can’t just skate through life like his younger brother, who doesn’t have the burden of his talent.
Ok, that last part was more inference but you don’t have to read between the lines too much to see this woman clearly thinks the older kid is the special one and doesn’t think much of the younger one. For one thing, nearly all of this monologue was devoted to the older one and the younger one barely got a look in.
It is possible, to give her the benefit of the doubt, that the younger one got the next hour after I’d left, but I have a feeling he didn’t.
I also had to listen to her trying to explain, in slightly sneering tones, what a ceilidh was (she was going to one that evening) to the very bemused hairdresser and it was at that point that I nearly jumped in to explain what a ceilidh actually is but a) it would have meant admitting I was listening the entire time and b) my haircut was over.
This was yesterday, when I was in for my usual cut-and-blow dry. Personally, I view getting a haircut as a fairly taciturn affair, unless I’ve got to know the hairdresser a bit. To be fair, I have become reasonably friendly with the woman who usually cuts my hair but she’s on maternity leave and I don’t know the woman filling in for her, so it was the usual small talk, a bit of discussion about what I wanted and that was it.
That being said, it’s a pretty well established stereotype that people will treat the person cutting their hair like a therapist-cum-sounding board.
And the woman at the next station was the epitome of that stereotype.
I was there for an hour, and I don’t think she actually drew breath in that entire period. I now know, for example, the names and ages of both her kids. I know she regrets the colour she chose to paint her front room. I know she was raised by a single mother and has at least a couple of siblings. I know her partner comes from a slightly more middle class background and had more opportunities than she did growing up.
Beyond that, I know the older one, who’s 12, is currently starring in his school production of Oliver. I know he’s “very musical” (there was a lot of not-very-subtle humble bragging interspersed with these revelations) and plays guitar and piano and wants to learn the violin. I know that the mother doesn’t want him to learn violin because a) it’ll mean more commitment and time on lessons, (and you know, he’s already in eight rehearsals a week because he’s starring in Oliver, and did she also mention he’s in Oliver and he has eight rehearsals a week?) and b) she doesn’t want to have to listen to the early screechy phase. But oh, what if he’s a virtuoso and just doesn’t know it and she’s keeping him from it?! And you know, her friend who has two older kids told her to just do it and she was like, nooo!
I also know that she considers him a “deep thinker” who’s sensitive and deeply affected by things and that’s why it’s a good thing he’s in Oliver because now he’s interacting with older kids and he’ll just get so much out of that. And you know, they just love him too, and they all look out for him in the corridors.
I know he’s good at swimming but not really good enough (in her opinion) to go beyond the local level so if he’s not going to go all the way they might as well ditch that in favour of music and drama. (Not to judge, but you know, kind of to judge, this woman had Stage Mother written all over her…)
I know the older kid also has a chance to go to the Ardeche on a canoeing trip with school but that it’s very expensive (I didn’t catch the exact price, the hairdryer overpowered it) but she just knows he’ll get so much out of it so they’ll have to send him.
This was when the younger kid, who’s eight, was first mentioned; up to that point I’d assumed the other one must be an only child. I then learned the younger one really isn’t such a deep thinker, he’s just practical and gets on with things and he’s just not as passionate as the older one. I know the older one apparently resents this because, you know, he is so deep and he can’t just skate through life like his younger brother, who doesn’t have the burden of his talent.
Ok, that last part was more inference but you don’t have to read between the lines too much to see this woman clearly thinks the older kid is the special one and doesn’t think much of the younger one. For one thing, nearly all of this monologue was devoted to the older one and the younger one barely got a look in.
It is possible, to give her the benefit of the doubt, that the younger one got the next hour after I’d left, but I have a feeling he didn’t.
I also had to listen to her trying to explain, in slightly sneering tones, what a ceilidh was (she was going to one that evening) to the very bemused hairdresser and it was at that point that I nearly jumped in to explain what a ceilidh actually is but a) it would have meant admitting I was listening the entire time and b) my haircut was over.