You should always take what I say on Sundays with a grain of salt

[belladonnalin]

After working at the shelter (do ya'll even want to hear about that? I stopped writing because it felt strange) overnight on Saturdays, my Sundays are fucked. Not fucked in a gone way, but fucked in a strange way.

I spend 1/2 of my Sunday completely exhausted and just trying to go to sleep. I sleep for 2-3.5 hours. I wake up and try to find shit to do.

But.

I'm listening to "Under the Cork Tree" and getting a little teary over people who have been missing. Not the the people I asked to leave or was deserted by, but by the people who drifted to a point where I don't know how to find you.

So, if you think I may be talking to you, I probably am. I miss you. I love you. I'm not angry anymore, though (that part is a Gym Class Heroes quote, not a real statement).

I have found so many amazing people in my life. Why is it that I can't manage to hold onto so many of you in a way that is substantial, that matters? Why do we have to drift?

Yeah, I will wake up tomorrow morning and want to private-set this post entirely. But maybe I won't. This isn't entirely my fault - I've never had many friends. I've never been good at making and keeping friends.

But. I miss ya'll. I don't know any other way to reach out. This is all I have, all I can do.