the night from hell.
i'm officially creeped the fuck out right now.
after work last night, i went to this guy's apartment to hang out. we ordered food, watched tv, relaxed, etc. i know him from myspace (what else is new), he's very attractive and he's always been cool, AND NORMAL, so it was just a typical chill night with a buddy.
MKAY.
no.
not so much.
first of all, his place is in tribeca. this means, its gorgeous. actually, jay-z has the penthouse on the floor above him.
so... you can imagine.
anyway, i walked in and immediately i had a REALLY bad feeling. now, let's get this straight for a sec. you guys, for the most part, know me and my intuition. in all the years i've been aware of it, and have since been perfecting it... i have never gotten the feeling i got last night. i actually heard that little voice i tend to hear flat out say, "leave. now."
here's how my intuition tends to work: if it's something good, i get lightheaded, my hands start to shake, and my body almost vibrates, as if i've had 10 cups of coffee. if its something bad, i get a headache out of nowhere and a sharp pain in the middle of my chest. i also work in a picture sort of way. so what happens when its bad, is that i start seeing visions very quickly of a movie i've seen, a character from a movie, a song lyric, etc... and it corresponds with how i'm trying to piece the 'feeling' together, and it also sometimes gives me an idea of what to 'expect' to happen, based on the movie or character that might pop up. if that makes ANY sense at all. i know i sound like the newest x-men character to join the team, but believe me... i'm dead serious about all of this.
alright so i'm standing in his doorway, and THIS is who pops in my head:
NOT the person you want to get a visual of when you're alone with someone who is still "technically", a stranger.
his apartment, was pretty much the set of american psycho. his kitchen, down to the two barstool chairs, was a spitting image of "patrick bateman's".
he even had empty bottles of voss water scattered about the counter area in perfectly neat rows.
this wasn't something from american psycho, but it was still just fuckin weird. everything was TOO perfect. and too... i cant even say GAY, because even my gay friends that are neat perfectionists, don't come ever come off as 'creepy' lol. but too... not normal.
i put my bag down, and went to hang my coat in the closet, and he darts in front of me and grabs the handle on the door. so right away my eyes widen and he gets this weird laugh, grabs my coat and says, "i got it i got it", THEN PROCEEDS to hang it up, but BARELY opened the door, so he was squishing it in.
UM.
OKAY.
i asked where the bathroom was, and i walked in and shut the door.
and locked it. now, specific scenes from the movie are flying through my head, and i'm in there just freaking myself out.
lol. i needed to just assess the situation. seriously. so i just stood in there thinking... should i leave... no, he'll know, and maybe he'll come after me. should i stay... maybe i'm just thinking like a lunatic and blowing things out of proportion. no i'd be crazy to stay. i dont have a death wish. shit what do i do...and what the hell was in that closet BY THE WAY...
finally, i come back out, and he's ordering food. i figured, wait it out a little, you can always say you don't feel good after some time, and thats that.
i'm looking at the menu and he comes up from behind me and kisses my cheek like 3 times, and rubs the tops of my arms. but in such a way, like as if a man would do to his wife or something. OKAY BUDDY. so i laughed, or i think i laughed... i may have sounded scared out of my mind i dont even know, and i got up and tried to divert his attention to the tv instead. he had law & order SVU on, OF COURSE IT HAD TO BE SOMETHING WITH KILLING PEOPLE, so i said what i wanted to order, and sat my ass on his couch... which... i dont even think it was a couch it was so stiff. completely a "lets show off" piece of furniture.
the food finally comes, and i get up to get my order from the bag, and he says, "no no, you can sit back down... i have to put it all out on plates and what not."
so i stared at him and SLOWLY sat back down, lol, and i see him behind the counter getting everything together. now in my head i'm like... i cant see what he's doing... he could be putting something in my food right now. he could put something in my stuff that will knock me the fuck out, and then he's gonna rape me. and then he's gonna kill me. and then he's gonna do something with my body that i dont even wanna think about, and then he's gonna shove me in that fuckin closet that im not allowed to go near.
i SWEAR TO GOD, this was ALL going through my head.
finally, his masterpieces are finished. and i say that because he was so anal in the display of the fucking food... that his sushi was in MORE perfect rows, my pan fried noodles looked like they came out of something off the iron chef, and he had two perfectly propped bottles of VOSS next to a glass for each of us. honestly... i would have been totally cool with mcdonalds. and his little production would have been really sweet and truly classy and appreciated, HAD HE NOT BEEN CRAZY WEIRD.
he finished eating first, and as i'm still eating, he comes up behind me AGAIN, and kisses my head.
wtf get off me dude. i gave you NO indication that i liked you. out of my space, STAT. and while im eating!? come on.
i lost my appetite after that so i said, "where should i put this?" (cause... i am capable of cleaning up after myself), and he jumps up from the "show off piece of furniture", and says, "no i got it. you won't do it the right way anyway, hehe, i have a certain process..."
now my eyes were even wider than before. OCD much? you clean off the plate and throw out the food. is there a new process that has changed from the usual one that's been around for the past 500 YEARS? just askin.
the kitchen is now back to his approval, and he comes and sits next to me and starts playing with my hair. STOP TOUCHING ME. yo seriously if i'm not INTO you (and believe me you know if im into you), GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME. you'd think he would have gotten the hint when IMMEDIATELY, i grabbed my hoodie and put it up over my head, but then he started playing with my fingers. and he kept calling me BABY. dont fucking say that to me unless - again - im into you. then say whatever the hell you want. until then, no. dont even think about it.
law & order was still on and it was a scene where the killers mother was yelling at her husband and saying, "you made him this way. you did it. you never showed him love for all of his life..."
and i laughed and said, "that doesn't make him a KILLER. stupid."
CRAZY OVER HERE NEXT TO ME GOES, "well... thats not really true. i mean... he would have to have the urge inside me to begin with... but not having love from his father could easily trigger..." and i stopped him and im like, "are you DEFENDING him right now?" and he laughs this creepy insane laugh and is all, "yea maybe. its not like you know how the mind of a killer works..."
by that point i didn't feel good so i went to his bedroom and layed down for a minute.
IM CRAZY YES I KNOW. dont ask me what possessed me to do such a thing. it was like i was basically saying.. HI. you'd like to kill me? well sure by all means. ill go lay down and wait for you. don't forget the knife.
seriously.
turns out i fell asleep for an hour. i fucking fell ASLEEP. i wake up, i'm now UNDER the covers, and he's under them with me but sitting up and doing something on his laptop. i looked at him real quick and he's wearing pajamas - actual pajamas - and a robe.
A.
ROBE.
i'm pretty convinced that he THOUGHT HE WAS patrick bateman.
i am NOT kidding.
now im just creeped the fuck out and finally decided to bid him adieu.
as i roll over to see where my cell is, ON his nightstand looking right back at me, next to ANOTHER bottle of VOSS... i swear to fucking jesus...
this book.
AMERICAN PSYCHO. the BOOK.
if i hadn't already decided it was time to go, REST ASSURED THAT DECIDED FOR ME. i said i was exhausted, wasn't feeling good, and he tried to convince me to stay but i was already getting my things together. i went to the closet to get my coat but he beat me to it and then used the excuse of trying to put it on me... being the gentleman he was and all.
yea.
no thank you. i know you dont want me in that closet. don't act sweet. lol.
so i left, took a train to a friend's, stayed the night, came into work this morning... and immediately deleted him from my friends list.
i'm becoming a lesbian.
guys scare me half to death lately.
he topped it.
completely topped it.
after work last night, i went to this guy's apartment to hang out. we ordered food, watched tv, relaxed, etc. i know him from myspace (what else is new), he's very attractive and he's always been cool, AND NORMAL, so it was just a typical chill night with a buddy.
MKAY.
no.
not so much.
first of all, his place is in tribeca. this means, its gorgeous. actually, jay-z has the penthouse on the floor above him.
so... you can imagine.
anyway, i walked in and immediately i had a REALLY bad feeling. now, let's get this straight for a sec. you guys, for the most part, know me and my intuition. in all the years i've been aware of it, and have since been perfecting it... i have never gotten the feeling i got last night. i actually heard that little voice i tend to hear flat out say, "leave. now."
here's how my intuition tends to work: if it's something good, i get lightheaded, my hands start to shake, and my body almost vibrates, as if i've had 10 cups of coffee. if its something bad, i get a headache out of nowhere and a sharp pain in the middle of my chest. i also work in a picture sort of way. so what happens when its bad, is that i start seeing visions very quickly of a movie i've seen, a character from a movie, a song lyric, etc... and it corresponds with how i'm trying to piece the 'feeling' together, and it also sometimes gives me an idea of what to 'expect' to happen, based on the movie or character that might pop up. if that makes ANY sense at all. i know i sound like the newest x-men character to join the team, but believe me... i'm dead serious about all of this.
alright so i'm standing in his doorway, and THIS is who pops in my head:
NOT the person you want to get a visual of when you're alone with someone who is still "technically", a stranger.
his apartment, was pretty much the set of american psycho. his kitchen, down to the two barstool chairs, was a spitting image of "patrick bateman's".
he even had empty bottles of voss water scattered about the counter area in perfectly neat rows.
this wasn't something from american psycho, but it was still just fuckin weird. everything was TOO perfect. and too... i cant even say GAY, because even my gay friends that are neat perfectionists, don't come ever come off as 'creepy' lol. but too... not normal.
i put my bag down, and went to hang my coat in the closet, and he darts in front of me and grabs the handle on the door. so right away my eyes widen and he gets this weird laugh, grabs my coat and says, "i got it i got it", THEN PROCEEDS to hang it up, but BARELY opened the door, so he was squishing it in.
UM.
OKAY.
i asked where the bathroom was, and i walked in and shut the door.
and locked it. now, specific scenes from the movie are flying through my head, and i'm in there just freaking myself out.
lol. i needed to just assess the situation. seriously. so i just stood in there thinking... should i leave... no, he'll know, and maybe he'll come after me. should i stay... maybe i'm just thinking like a lunatic and blowing things out of proportion. no i'd be crazy to stay. i dont have a death wish. shit what do i do...and what the hell was in that closet BY THE WAY...
finally, i come back out, and he's ordering food. i figured, wait it out a little, you can always say you don't feel good after some time, and thats that.
i'm looking at the menu and he comes up from behind me and kisses my cheek like 3 times, and rubs the tops of my arms. but in such a way, like as if a man would do to his wife or something. OKAY BUDDY. so i laughed, or i think i laughed... i may have sounded scared out of my mind i dont even know, and i got up and tried to divert his attention to the tv instead. he had law & order SVU on, OF COURSE IT HAD TO BE SOMETHING WITH KILLING PEOPLE, so i said what i wanted to order, and sat my ass on his couch... which... i dont even think it was a couch it was so stiff. completely a "lets show off" piece of furniture.
the food finally comes, and i get up to get my order from the bag, and he says, "no no, you can sit back down... i have to put it all out on plates and what not."
so i stared at him and SLOWLY sat back down, lol, and i see him behind the counter getting everything together. now in my head i'm like... i cant see what he's doing... he could be putting something in my food right now. he could put something in my stuff that will knock me the fuck out, and then he's gonna rape me. and then he's gonna kill me. and then he's gonna do something with my body that i dont even wanna think about, and then he's gonna shove me in that fuckin closet that im not allowed to go near.
i SWEAR TO GOD, this was ALL going through my head.
finally, his masterpieces are finished. and i say that because he was so anal in the display of the fucking food... that his sushi was in MORE perfect rows, my pan fried noodles looked like they came out of something off the iron chef, and he had two perfectly propped bottles of VOSS next to a glass for each of us. honestly... i would have been totally cool with mcdonalds. and his little production would have been really sweet and truly classy and appreciated, HAD HE NOT BEEN CRAZY WEIRD.
he finished eating first, and as i'm still eating, he comes up behind me AGAIN, and kisses my head.
wtf get off me dude. i gave you NO indication that i liked you. out of my space, STAT. and while im eating!? come on.
i lost my appetite after that so i said, "where should i put this?" (cause... i am capable of cleaning up after myself), and he jumps up from the "show off piece of furniture", and says, "no i got it. you won't do it the right way anyway, hehe, i have a certain process..."
now my eyes were even wider than before. OCD much? you clean off the plate and throw out the food. is there a new process that has changed from the usual one that's been around for the past 500 YEARS? just askin.
the kitchen is now back to his approval, and he comes and sits next to me and starts playing with my hair. STOP TOUCHING ME. yo seriously if i'm not INTO you (and believe me you know if im into you), GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME. you'd think he would have gotten the hint when IMMEDIATELY, i grabbed my hoodie and put it up over my head, but then he started playing with my fingers. and he kept calling me BABY. dont fucking say that to me unless - again - im into you. then say whatever the hell you want. until then, no. dont even think about it.
law & order was still on and it was a scene where the killers mother was yelling at her husband and saying, "you made him this way. you did it. you never showed him love for all of his life..."
and i laughed and said, "that doesn't make him a KILLER. stupid."
CRAZY OVER HERE NEXT TO ME GOES, "well... thats not really true. i mean... he would have to have the urge inside me to begin with... but not having love from his father could easily trigger..." and i stopped him and im like, "are you DEFENDING him right now?" and he laughs this creepy insane laugh and is all, "yea maybe. its not like you know how the mind of a killer works..."
by that point i didn't feel good so i went to his bedroom and layed down for a minute.
IM CRAZY YES I KNOW. dont ask me what possessed me to do such a thing. it was like i was basically saying.. HI. you'd like to kill me? well sure by all means. ill go lay down and wait for you. don't forget the knife.
seriously.
turns out i fell asleep for an hour. i fucking fell ASLEEP. i wake up, i'm now UNDER the covers, and he's under them with me but sitting up and doing something on his laptop. i looked at him real quick and he's wearing pajamas - actual pajamas - and a robe.
A.
ROBE.
i'm pretty convinced that he THOUGHT HE WAS patrick bateman.
i am NOT kidding.
now im just creeped the fuck out and finally decided to bid him adieu.
as i roll over to see where my cell is, ON his nightstand looking right back at me, next to ANOTHER bottle of VOSS... i swear to fucking jesus...
this book.
AMERICAN PSYCHO. the BOOK.
if i hadn't already decided it was time to go, REST ASSURED THAT DECIDED FOR ME. i said i was exhausted, wasn't feeling good, and he tried to convince me to stay but i was already getting my things together. i went to the closet to get my coat but he beat me to it and then used the excuse of trying to put it on me... being the gentleman he was and all.
yea.
no thank you. i know you dont want me in that closet. don't act sweet. lol.
so i left, took a train to a friend's, stayed the night, came into work this morning... and immediately deleted him from my friends list.
i'm becoming a lesbian.
guys scare me half to death lately.
he topped it.
completely topped it.