Fic: And The Angel Said "Be Not Afraid"
“Cas! Get your ass down here now. That’s an order,” Dean barked at the sky. He knew from the rustle behind him that Castiel was there even before the other opened his mouth.
“I do not take orders from you, Dean,” Castiel said and Dean couldn’t help laughing at that.
“Really?” he asked, turning. “Because you’re here, aren’t you?”
Castiel frowned, eyes flickering to the ground and then back up to Dean. “What do you need?” He asked coldly.
“I just found out that you’re a pretty good liar now, Castiel. You really had me going but Gabriel just let the cat of the bag for us. Pregnant? Fuck, why couldn’t you tell me? I thought Adam was dying. I mean this is fucked up but at least it’s not…”
“He could still die,” Castiel said quietly, looking towards the house. “His body is not built to withstand it. The fledgling will keep itself alive by whatever means necessary even if it means killing its host.”
“Whoa. Back up there. So he’s got some fucking alien parasite inside him that’s killing him? And Gabriel’s acting like we’re supposed to be happy about this?”
Castiel shrugged. “It is Michael’s child. We are all happy,” he said, his voice betraying no hint that he felt any such emotion.
“Yeah, ecstatic,” Dean mumbled. Castiel drifted towards the house but Dean reached out, grabbing his arm to hold him back. “What does this mean…you and me…can you? Are you?” he fumbled with the words and Castiel gave him a withering look.
“There is no you and me, as you have said. We are not in a relationship. You call me when you need me and there are no women around.” he said, almost word for word what he’d heard from Dean and Dean to his credit winced hearing them.
“But?” he prompted.
“Do not concern yourself. You are not as powerful as Michael. You have not impregnated me,” Castiel said, brushing his hand away. “I would like to see my brother now, Dean.”
Dean’s face fell and he looked away. “Sure. Just go right on in. It’s one big happy family now.”
Castiel tilted his head to one side. “I do not think you are happy, Dean,” he said softly.
When Dean looked up he was standing in the empty junkyard. He ran a hand through his hair and kicked the nearest hunk of metal but it didn’t do anything to stop the aching in his chest. Adam could still die and all because angels had fucked around with things they shouldn’t have. He didn’t even want to think about Cas. That was better off dead and buried. One day Castiel would realize that and Dean didn’t think they’d ever get back to what they’d been, before he started showing Castiel how to be human. He was the one who’d coaxed Castiel into bed and he was the one paying for it now.
“I could so knock him up,” he muttered to no one in particular, toeing the dusty ground with his boot, trying not to think about Cas as anything but the angel he was. Angels of the Lord should not fall in love with Dean Winchester. Dean had seen the devotion in Castiel’s eyes, known the angel was in love him and it had been so much easier to just drop him then face what that meant. Only now he didn’t know what to do. It had seemed the easy option, picking a life without attachments, without making it more than it needed to be but facing up to a life with Castiel hating him, avoiding him, was harder than Dean could believe.
And then Castiel turned up and lied to him as if he didn’t know Dean would find out one day. He knew Cas was hurting but to keep something so big from him out of spite was petty, even for Castiel. Castiel who apparently hated the idea of Dean even touching him now and thought it was ludicrous for Dean to even imagine that there was even the slightest chance that the inept fumbling they’d had together could have resulted in anything other than sticky sheets and feelings of regret.
“It could have. I could have,” Dean muttered to himself. He’d done impossible things before so why not that? It was as if he suddenly wasn’t good enough for Castiel when he remembered the times Castiel had lain in his arms and Dean had sworn that Castiel would have done anything he asked of him. “Do you hear me Cas?” he shouted at the house. “I could knock you up!”
A window opened and Sam stuck his head out of it, frowning at him. “Dude, everyone can hear you. Come inside.”
He disappeared for a moment and then peeked back out. “At least now I know what you two are fighting about!”
**
“Michael?” Adam whispered. It must have been nearly midnight but he couldn’t sleep. Dean had fallen asleep in an old arm chair some hours earlier. Sam had gone upstairs once Adam had promised him that he wasn’t going to expire in the middle of the night if Sam didn’t stay awake watching over him. Adam didn’t even remember when the angels had left but they’d gone at some point and he was glad for that. The atmosphere between Dean and Castiel had been unpleasant and the way Gabriel kept trying to touch his stomach unnerved him. Angels, in general, didn’t seem to get the idea of personal space but Adam suspected Gabriel got it just fine but liked being a dick.
“Michael?” he whispered again, clasping his hands together and glancing across at Dean, making certain that his brother wasn’t likely to wake up. Adam knew Dean didn’t want Michael to show up but Adam needed to talk to him. “Please, if you can hear me, send me a sign. You never said this was possible. What happened? Did you plan this?” He paused for a moment but there were no flashes of lightening, no burning bushes and Dean remained stubbornly asleep in his chair.
Adam tried again, “Is this baby an angel? I don’t know what to do, Michael. Men don’t get pregnant and nothing I covered in my pre-med classes is going to help with this. If anyone ever finds out, they’ll want to dissect me or something.” He pulled a face thinking about the idea of being treated as a medical anomaly, being blasted all over television and the papers and curled around himself. “Where does it even go? How is it even surviving? Did you give me ovaries or something? Is this just an angelic thing? Could you please come and tell me so I don’t feel like I’m going crazy talking to myself.”
There was no noise. No sound of wings and again no sign that anyone was paying attention to him. Dean snored softly from the chair.
“Shut up.” Adam hissed at Dean. “This is all your fault. You should have just said yes. Then it would be you in this mess and not me.” He didn’t mean it, not really but none of this was right and Adam didn’t want to believe that he was pregnant. It couldn’t happen. It didn’t matter that an angel had alighted and told him, Adam didn’t want to believe it. His life used to be normal. He went to school, he had girlfriends and he was a good boy who loved his mom. He wasn’t supposed to get eaten alive because of who his dad was. He wasn’t supposed to get possessed by Michael. It was the Winchesters’ fault for all of that, their tainted blood.
He could probably put this latest development - a thing that should not ever be, but was apparently - down to being a Winchester too. They seemed to attract trouble and Adam supposed he was one of them even if he didn’t want to be.
Dean continued to snore, unaware of Adam’s outburst.
“Please, Michael.” Adam pleaded. “I miss you. Gabriel was a nice touch but he isn’t you. I want to see you.”
He thought that would do something but the living room remained stubbornly devoid of archangels. Adam unclasped his hands and wrapped his arms around himself again, lying quietly in the dark hoping to hear or see something. Eventually, without even realizing it, he fell asleep.
**
He was back in his mother’s kitchen and she was sitting in front of him, sipping coffee and looking younger than he remembered her being. He sat down opposite her and smiled.
“I think I know what you were trying to tell me last time I saw you,” he said, not really certain what else he could say. He wondered how Michael had explained it. How could you explain it? Adam was in love with an angel who had apparently the power to defy nature and get him pregnant and who now seemed to prefer talking to him via third parties rather than visiting Adam himself. “Has he sent you to tell me he loves me again? If he thinks I’m going to listen just because you’re my mother, he’s sadly mistaken.”
Kate shook her head. “No, he hasn’t sent me.” She put her cup of coffee down and stood up, moving to stand beside Adam, stroking his hair. “I remember how frightened I was when I found out I was pregnant with you, that I was going to have to go through it all alone but I’m glad I did. I would never have wanted to miss out on having you.”
Adam reached out to grab her hand, finding his chest tight and his eyes prickling with tears. “Are you telling me I’ve got to do this on my own? Has Michael abandoned me?” he asked, wishing he didn’t sound so pitiful but she was his mother. She’d seen him at his worst before and she’d always loved him. Adam just needed to know.
“No. You’re not going to be on your own. I just…I know this must be strange for you.”
“That doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Adam said, fears not quite laid to rest. “Mom! This doesn’t make any sense. How can you just be so calm about it?” Adam didn’t remember his Heaven very well, not after the time he’d spent in the cage, especially not after Michael. It was as if he couldn’t remember much past Michael. He wondered if Michael had done something to his mind, something to make him forget or if it was just the passage of time. Time moved differently in the cage. Adam felt as if he’d lived and died a hundred lives, not just the ones he had.
He wondered if he’d been this calm and collected in Heaven, if eternal happiness had made him forget about how things were on earth. He supposed it must have. He wouldn’t have been willing to help Michael - to burn half of humanity - if he hadn’t been a little confused. He’d wanted to see his mom again and after going to Heaven himself, after dying, he hadn’t cared as much about the nameless humanity that he’d kill. Not as much as he’d cared about seeing her again.
Maybe that was what she felt. Maybe she didn’t care why Adam was alive now or what had happened to him. She could get past the fact that Adam was going through something that medical science told them both was impossible. Maybe she was just happy to see him and that he was breathing again.
He didn’t get the chance to ask her.
Kate reached out, hand pressing to his stomach and grinned at him. “You know, I always wanted a granddaughter.”
**
When Adam woke up he blinked at the sunlight creeping through the window and rolled onto his side. A girl. His baby was a girl. Suddenly the thing growing inside of him wasn’t an it, wasn’t a thing but a baby. Something made of flesh, blood and grace; a real being that Adam had helped create. It might not be natural for him to be carrying it but it was still real and still his.
“Wow.” he said, mostly to himself and then lifted up his shirt a little to look at the swelling bump. “So, you’re my daughter? That’s pretty cool. Too many men in this family, I think we need a few girls to balance things out. You’re going to be so spoiled. They might pretend to be tough but I know Dean and Sam are going to dote on you. Just like me and your…and your dad. When he gets his ass down here and stops being an archangel full time.”
He swallowed then, wondering if he could make the next decision without Michael. He guessed Michael probably had some big plans for their kid. It wasn’t every day that men got knocked up and Adam wondered if Michael already had some important, heavenly name he was planning to bestow on her that would have some key to her meaning and purpose. Adam placed his hand over his swollen stomach and sighed.
“I’m going to call you Kate,” he told it and felt the baby move in response. “Yeah, you like that? Me too. Your dad’s just going to have to live with it. That’s what he gets for missing all these important moments.”
**
It wasn’t as if Adam wasn’t aware they were watching him, each taking turns checking on him through the night. He couldn’t help but wonder why. It wasn’t like he could run off. He was finding it hard enough getting up from the bed and going to the bathroom, running certainly wasn’t in the cards. Sometimes Adam didn’t even trust his legs to hold him up and he didn’t like thinking about the fact that Sam kept helping him along. It was embarrassing. He should have been fit and able-bodied but apparently being the world’s only, currently, pregnant man was causing him some problems in that department.
Gabriel kept turning up to regale him with stories about when angels had got it wrong before and ended up knocking up some guy somewhere. Gabriel himself seemed to have a few stories from his days as a Pagan God, which were eye opening. More often than not, the children of gods and mortals turned out to be the heroes of antiquity and legend. Adam just tried not to think about how often their lives had ended horribly and messily.
Castiel appeared infrequently but often enough that when Adam awoke to see a shadowy figure standing over him, he only blinked a few times and assumed it was Castiel. “I’m fine,” he said, waving his hand vaguely in the air. “I need to sleep. Go wake up Dean or something.”
He had half closed his eyes when he caught the glint of something in the air and he put out his hands, grabbing hold of the stranger - because it was a stranger and not Castiel - by its wrists trying to fight it off. The thing was strong and Adam was weak from pregnancy. “DEAN!” he shouted. “DEAN!”
His brother was in the room in an instant, gun cocked at the thing’s head and didn’t waste any time putting a bullet into its skull. Adam closed his eyes, not wanting to see the moment it died but the hands held in his grip didn’t slacken. He opened his eyes again, blanching as he saw the creatures head wound knitting back together.
“What the hell?” he gasped.
“Angel,” Dean rasped. He tossed his gun on the floor and threw himself bodily at the creature, trying to knock it away from Adam. He succeed in getting it a few centimeters off course and Adam vaulted from the cot and then crashed straight on to the floor, clutching at his stomach. “Adam, run!” Dean yelled, turning his head slightly as if trying to make sure that Adam wasn’t still in the room with them.
“I can’t!” Adam yelled back, doubling up in pain. The pain was blinding and Adam couldn’t concentrate on anything else. Dean’s momentary worry was all the angel needed to throw him bodily against the wall.
“Be still and let me kill you,” it said somberly, nearing Adam who whimpered. It held up its sword again. “You have become a liability.”
Adam was vaguely aware of Dean staggering to his feet, spitting out blood on the floor and he could hear the rush of footsteps down the stairs that must have been Sam, alerted by all that crashing and banging, coming to their rescue but he knew almost with painful inevitability that there wasn’t anything either of his brothers could do. He curled around himself, wanting to protect Kate from the blow.
And then everything seemed to tilt. There was the rush of wind over his face and Castiel was standing in front of him. He deflected the blow meant for Adam and drew his own sword. Then in a movement so graceful that Adam almost didn’t see it, he forced his sword through the other angel’s ribcage and into its heart. There was a burst of light and the empty vessel sagged in Castiel’s arms. Sam appeared panting in the doorway.
“Fuck, we’ll have to burn that,” he said, catching sight of the body and then he seemed to take in the rest of the room. “Adam? Are you alright?” he asked, crouching next to Adam’s side and helping to ease him up. The pain was still there but it was lessened somewhat now and Adam pressed his hand to his stomach.
“Yeah, I think…I think Kate is kicking.”
“Kate?” Sam asked, eyebrow raised.
“What I’m calling the baby,” Adam said defensively as Sam helped him up and back onto the cot.
“Yeah, don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Probably no broken bones!” Dean said, still partly doubled over. Castiel dropped the empty body, stepping over it to reach Dean’s side and he pressed his hand to Dean’s cheek, easing him up.
“Does that feel better?” he asked, watching Dean’s face worriedly.
“Much better. Good timing, Cas,” Dean murmured, reaching out to mirror the gesture, cupping Castiel’s cheek in his hand.
Sam coughed and the two pulled away from each other. Castiel seemed almost disappointed while Dean glanced sheepishly at his brothers and then shrugged as if to imply he would have had a tender moment with anyone after a sudden attack by a rogue angel and neither of them should read into it.
“So,” he asked, poking the corpse carefully with his shoe. “Which one of your brothers was that?”
“Iedidiel. He must have been desperate if he broke the wards I had set up. Or he was informed on how to bypass them.” Castiel’s frown deepened.
“Where’s Gabriel?” Sam asked, looking around the room. “I thought he was supposed to…I don’t know, watch out for us now?”
“Gabriel is…not here,” Castiel said with a shrug of his shoulders. Sam rolled his eyes.
“I can see that, Cas,” Hh muttered and Dean shot him a warning glance before prodding the body with his foot again. Whoever the angel had been wearing had been about forty, well-dressed. The angels seemed to like their vessels to be a bit more upper-class apart from the ones who wanted to be out and about wearing a Winchester.
“Don’t worry about Gabriel right now. We’ll bulk up security in the morning,” Dean said, rubbing his hands together. “Sammy, keep Adam safe here, make sure he’s fine and I don’t know, get him a glass of water or something. Cas, you and me are gonna build a bonfire.” Dean bent down, hefting the body over his shoulders. Castiel followed him obediently and Adam rolled his eyes.
“Make out more like,” he said, trying to shift so he could get comfortable again. Near death experiences were just a part of his life now. If he couldn’t sleep after them, he was probably never going to sleep again. Sam regarded him thoughtfully.
“How do you know it’s going to be a girl?” he asked seriously.
Adam yawned. “Oh, my mom told me. I saw her, in a dream. I thought I told you.”
“No,” Sam said. Adam was asleep again before he could ask another question.
**
Sam sat on the porch, peeling the label from his bottle of beer while staring into the distance. Dean had decided that they needed a reward for fighting off the angel even though Sam hadn’t done anything and Dean had gotten beaten pretty bad by it before Castiel turned up. Sam knew his brother really wanted a drink because he was shaken and that was how Dean dealt with any problems he was having, by drinking them away. Castiel had offered to stand guard over Adam and Sam had to admit that was probably the best course of action. Castiel would be better at defending Adam from whatever was after him. At least until they got a couple of bottles of holy oil out of the Impala’s trunk.
Nonetheless, the attack was worrying Sam.
“Dean,” he said quietly, drawing his brother’s attention from slugging down the whole bottle in one go. One day Sam was going to talk to him about his drinking, remind him how much Dean had hated it when dad got drunk but now wasn’t the time. There was a more pressing worry Sam needed to get off his chest. Dean’s drinking problem wasn’t going anywhere. There’d be time to sort that later. “I’ve been thinking. If Adam and Michael got out then maybe Lucifer got out too.”
Dean paused with the bottle halfway to his mouth. “Cas says he’s not,” he said.
Sam snorted. “Castiel already lied to you about this and he has a pretty good history of keeping things from you for the greater good. I know you two are best friends with benefits again but could you at least think reasonably about this.”
Dean pulled a face. “Don’t talk about Cas like that. We’re not…”
“Dean, I’m not interested in what you are or aren’t doing with Castiel. I’m just pointing out that he hasn’t been straight with us about what’s going on here.”
Dean sighed. “Any reason you need to bring this up?” he asked, voice cagy.
“If Lucifer is also free, why hasn’t he tried to find me?” Sam said.
Dean shrugged. “Easy answer. Cas is right. Lucifer isn’t free,” he said. There was an edge to his tone, as if he was daring Sam to call Castiel was a liar again. Sam wondered exactly what he and Castiel had done together while they were getting rid of the body. It must have been something pretty excellent for Dean to have such a complete turn of attitude towards the angel. Sam sighed, peeling off the final part of the label.
“Or Castiel doesn’t know what’s going on. Maybe they’re keeping him out of the loop,” Sam said, eager to get on with outlining his theory. Dean nodded as if that was acceptable to him and Sam continued. “Adam says he’s having dreams. Dreams where he sees his mother.”
“Nice,” Dean said, obviously not understanding Sam’s train of thought.
“Dean, do you remember how Lucifer used to turn up in my dreams? He’d appear as Jess.”
“Yeah, and he’d also try and get you to agree to something. So far Adam’s dreams have just contained annoying archangels and apparently his mom. Nothing bad.”
Sam sighed, frustrated that Dean wasn’t getting it. “But what if it isn’t his mom? What if that…that thing inside him isn’t Michael’s but Lucifer’s? What if this is some kind of attempt by Heaven and Hell to start the apocalypse again?”
Dean was quiet for a moment and then he stood up, unfolding to stand over Sam. “You’d think Adam would remember which one of them knocked him up, wouldn’t you?”
“It was Hell, Dean. And Lucifer is the prince of lies,” Sam said, looking up at his brother, studying Dean’s face not sure what Dean was going to do. He didn’t remember Hell. He didn’t remember what had happened to him down there and he couldn’t remember because if he did it would just break him apart. Adam had come back remarkably adjusted and he’d taken to the idea of pregnancy better than Sam would have, if it was him in Adam’s place. “We need to find out. Adam’s getting more attached to whatever’s growing inside him. He’s named it Kate.”
“Fine. Fine. You go talk to him,” Dean said, holding the door open. “None of this is natural.”
Sam stood up. “Yeah, you can say that again,” he agreed, patting Dean on the shoulder as he passed him.
**
“Hey, Adam,” Sam settled on his brother’s bedside, shaking Adam gently. He sent Castiel out to go keep Dean company on the porch and to stop him from drinking anymore. Adam felt frail under his hands, the bones in his shoulders were right at the surface and Sam could see how much weight he’d lost, except from around his stomach, which was growing at an alarming rate. Adam blinked out of sleep and then smiled at him.
“Sam?”
“Adam, I need to ask you something about…about Kate,” Sam said, picking his words carefully.
Adam’s smile faded slightly and he placed a hand to his swollen stomach.
“What about Kate?”
Sam paused for a moment. “Who’s her father?” he asked gently.
Adam frowned. “Michael. You know that, Sam. Michael’s the father and me, I’m the father too. I’m not suddenly a girl or anything.”
“No, I know that. How long where you and Michael together like that?” Sam asked. He didn’t want to hear about it. Michael had to have taken advantage of Adam. Adam had been frightened and alone in Hell. That was if Adam even remembered what happened.
“Right from the start,” Adam answered, his cheeks slightly red. “He was sorry he needed my body. He cared about me and when we were in Hell he protected me.”
“Do you remember Hell?”
Adam’s face furrowed and he shook his head. “No, I just remember Michael. I remember him.”
“Adam,” Sam said softly, placing his hand over Adam’s, feeling the swell of his stomach and it made Sam feel sick. It wasn’t right what was happening to Adam’s body or how readily Adam accepted it. “Could this be Lucifer’s baby?”
“No!” Adam hissed, pushing Sam’s hand away.
“Adam…”
“No, I know she’s Michael’s. I know she is.”
“Then why isn’t he here?” Sam exploded angrily. “Why has he been ignoring your prayers? I know you’re praying to him at night. I can hear you! He’s abandoned you and you can’t even remember Hell. What makes you think the angels aren’t lying to you this time? They lied to you before, didn’t they? Just because you’ve seen your mom you think everything’s okay? Adam, whatever that thing inside you is, it’s dangerous. We should cut it out of you now before it kills you.”
“No!” Adam said. “No! You’re not hurting Kate. You’re not!”
“It’s probably a demon, Adam. We should get it before it gets us.”
“She is not a demon. She’s my baby and Michael is the father and he hasn’t abandoned me. He loves me!”
“He’s an angel. They don’t even understand the concept of what love really is!”
Adam pulled back and punched Sam hard across the jaw. Sam hit the floor, more shocked than hurt and looked up at Adam in surprise. Adam gasped, pulling his hand to his chest and cradling it there.
“Adam…” Sam started.
“No! I don’t want to hear it, Sam,” Adam said, glancing down worriedly at his fingers and then back at his brother. “I know this is Michael’s baby. Ask Castiel. Ask Gabriel. They know! I’m keeping her, Sam. Do you think I don’t know this is weird? That I’m not terrified? I have no idea how this is even happening but it is and I’m not going to let anyone hurt her.”
“I don’t want you to die again!” Sam shouted. The silence that followed his outburst was chilling. Sam curled miserably around himself, staring up at Adam unhappily. “I have no idea what’s going on, Adam. I just want you safe. Angels are trying to kill you and your body can’t even support what’s happening to you. I can see it, you’re wasting away. What if Michael did this to you for some great plan?”
“I…I think it was a mistake,” Adam said quietly, fisting the blankets with his good hand. “I don’t think he planned for this to happen.”
“But you don’t remember,” Sam pointed out. “And he’s ignoring you now.”
“I don’t want to lose Kate,” Adam said stubbornly.
“I know but I don’t want to lose you and I’m always going to pick you over her,” Sam said, reaching up to rub his jaw where Adam had hit him. It was beginning to ache now.
“Maybe we should summon Michael?” Adam suggested, eyes wide.
“He hasn’t been answering you.”
“No, but he might come if Dean asked. Angels seem to like Dean.”
**
( Part One ) | ( Part Three )
“I do not take orders from you, Dean,” Castiel said and Dean couldn’t help laughing at that.
“Really?” he asked, turning. “Because you’re here, aren’t you?”
Castiel frowned, eyes flickering to the ground and then back up to Dean. “What do you need?” He asked coldly.
“I just found out that you’re a pretty good liar now, Castiel. You really had me going but Gabriel just let the cat of the bag for us. Pregnant? Fuck, why couldn’t you tell me? I thought Adam was dying. I mean this is fucked up but at least it’s not…”
“He could still die,” Castiel said quietly, looking towards the house. “His body is not built to withstand it. The fledgling will keep itself alive by whatever means necessary even if it means killing its host.”
“Whoa. Back up there. So he’s got some fucking alien parasite inside him that’s killing him? And Gabriel’s acting like we’re supposed to be happy about this?”
Castiel shrugged. “It is Michael’s child. We are all happy,” he said, his voice betraying no hint that he felt any such emotion.
“Yeah, ecstatic,” Dean mumbled. Castiel drifted towards the house but Dean reached out, grabbing his arm to hold him back. “What does this mean…you and me…can you? Are you?” he fumbled with the words and Castiel gave him a withering look.
“There is no you and me, as you have said. We are not in a relationship. You call me when you need me and there are no women around.” he said, almost word for word what he’d heard from Dean and Dean to his credit winced hearing them.
“But?” he prompted.
“Do not concern yourself. You are not as powerful as Michael. You have not impregnated me,” Castiel said, brushing his hand away. “I would like to see my brother now, Dean.”
Dean’s face fell and he looked away. “Sure. Just go right on in. It’s one big happy family now.”
Castiel tilted his head to one side. “I do not think you are happy, Dean,” he said softly.
When Dean looked up he was standing in the empty junkyard. He ran a hand through his hair and kicked the nearest hunk of metal but it didn’t do anything to stop the aching in his chest. Adam could still die and all because angels had fucked around with things they shouldn’t have. He didn’t even want to think about Cas. That was better off dead and buried. One day Castiel would realize that and Dean didn’t think they’d ever get back to what they’d been, before he started showing Castiel how to be human. He was the one who’d coaxed Castiel into bed and he was the one paying for it now.
“I could so knock him up,” he muttered to no one in particular, toeing the dusty ground with his boot, trying not to think about Cas as anything but the angel he was. Angels of the Lord should not fall in love with Dean Winchester. Dean had seen the devotion in Castiel’s eyes, known the angel was in love him and it had been so much easier to just drop him then face what that meant. Only now he didn’t know what to do. It had seemed the easy option, picking a life without attachments, without making it more than it needed to be but facing up to a life with Castiel hating him, avoiding him, was harder than Dean could believe.
And then Castiel turned up and lied to him as if he didn’t know Dean would find out one day. He knew Cas was hurting but to keep something so big from him out of spite was petty, even for Castiel. Castiel who apparently hated the idea of Dean even touching him now and thought it was ludicrous for Dean to even imagine that there was even the slightest chance that the inept fumbling they’d had together could have resulted in anything other than sticky sheets and feelings of regret.
“It could have. I could have,” Dean muttered to himself. He’d done impossible things before so why not that? It was as if he suddenly wasn’t good enough for Castiel when he remembered the times Castiel had lain in his arms and Dean had sworn that Castiel would have done anything he asked of him. “Do you hear me Cas?” he shouted at the house. “I could knock you up!”
A window opened and Sam stuck his head out of it, frowning at him. “Dude, everyone can hear you. Come inside.”
He disappeared for a moment and then peeked back out. “At least now I know what you two are fighting about!”
**
“Michael?” Adam whispered. It must have been nearly midnight but he couldn’t sleep. Dean had fallen asleep in an old arm chair some hours earlier. Sam had gone upstairs once Adam had promised him that he wasn’t going to expire in the middle of the night if Sam didn’t stay awake watching over him. Adam didn’t even remember when the angels had left but they’d gone at some point and he was glad for that. The atmosphere between Dean and Castiel had been unpleasant and the way Gabriel kept trying to touch his stomach unnerved him. Angels, in general, didn’t seem to get the idea of personal space but Adam suspected Gabriel got it just fine but liked being a dick.
“Michael?” he whispered again, clasping his hands together and glancing across at Dean, making certain that his brother wasn’t likely to wake up. Adam knew Dean didn’t want Michael to show up but Adam needed to talk to him. “Please, if you can hear me, send me a sign. You never said this was possible. What happened? Did you plan this?” He paused for a moment but there were no flashes of lightening, no burning bushes and Dean remained stubbornly asleep in his chair.
Adam tried again, “Is this baby an angel? I don’t know what to do, Michael. Men don’t get pregnant and nothing I covered in my pre-med classes is going to help with this. If anyone ever finds out, they’ll want to dissect me or something.” He pulled a face thinking about the idea of being treated as a medical anomaly, being blasted all over television and the papers and curled around himself. “Where does it even go? How is it even surviving? Did you give me ovaries or something? Is this just an angelic thing? Could you please come and tell me so I don’t feel like I’m going crazy talking to myself.”
There was no noise. No sound of wings and again no sign that anyone was paying attention to him. Dean snored softly from the chair.
“Shut up.” Adam hissed at Dean. “This is all your fault. You should have just said yes. Then it would be you in this mess and not me.” He didn’t mean it, not really but none of this was right and Adam didn’t want to believe that he was pregnant. It couldn’t happen. It didn’t matter that an angel had alighted and told him, Adam didn’t want to believe it. His life used to be normal. He went to school, he had girlfriends and he was a good boy who loved his mom. He wasn’t supposed to get eaten alive because of who his dad was. He wasn’t supposed to get possessed by Michael. It was the Winchesters’ fault for all of that, their tainted blood.
He could probably put this latest development - a thing that should not ever be, but was apparently - down to being a Winchester too. They seemed to attract trouble and Adam supposed he was one of them even if he didn’t want to be.
Dean continued to snore, unaware of Adam’s outburst.
“Please, Michael.” Adam pleaded. “I miss you. Gabriel was a nice touch but he isn’t you. I want to see you.”
He thought that would do something but the living room remained stubbornly devoid of archangels. Adam unclasped his hands and wrapped his arms around himself again, lying quietly in the dark hoping to hear or see something. Eventually, without even realizing it, he fell asleep.
**
He was back in his mother’s kitchen and she was sitting in front of him, sipping coffee and looking younger than he remembered her being. He sat down opposite her and smiled.
“I think I know what you were trying to tell me last time I saw you,” he said, not really certain what else he could say. He wondered how Michael had explained it. How could you explain it? Adam was in love with an angel who had apparently the power to defy nature and get him pregnant and who now seemed to prefer talking to him via third parties rather than visiting Adam himself. “Has he sent you to tell me he loves me again? If he thinks I’m going to listen just because you’re my mother, he’s sadly mistaken.”
Kate shook her head. “No, he hasn’t sent me.” She put her cup of coffee down and stood up, moving to stand beside Adam, stroking his hair. “I remember how frightened I was when I found out I was pregnant with you, that I was going to have to go through it all alone but I’m glad I did. I would never have wanted to miss out on having you.”
Adam reached out to grab her hand, finding his chest tight and his eyes prickling with tears. “Are you telling me I’ve got to do this on my own? Has Michael abandoned me?” he asked, wishing he didn’t sound so pitiful but she was his mother. She’d seen him at his worst before and she’d always loved him. Adam just needed to know.
“No. You’re not going to be on your own. I just…I know this must be strange for you.”
“That doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Adam said, fears not quite laid to rest. “Mom! This doesn’t make any sense. How can you just be so calm about it?” Adam didn’t remember his Heaven very well, not after the time he’d spent in the cage, especially not after Michael. It was as if he couldn’t remember much past Michael. He wondered if Michael had done something to his mind, something to make him forget or if it was just the passage of time. Time moved differently in the cage. Adam felt as if he’d lived and died a hundred lives, not just the ones he had.
He wondered if he’d been this calm and collected in Heaven, if eternal happiness had made him forget about how things were on earth. He supposed it must have. He wouldn’t have been willing to help Michael - to burn half of humanity - if he hadn’t been a little confused. He’d wanted to see his mom again and after going to Heaven himself, after dying, he hadn’t cared as much about the nameless humanity that he’d kill. Not as much as he’d cared about seeing her again.
Maybe that was what she felt. Maybe she didn’t care why Adam was alive now or what had happened to him. She could get past the fact that Adam was going through something that medical science told them both was impossible. Maybe she was just happy to see him and that he was breathing again.
He didn’t get the chance to ask her.
Kate reached out, hand pressing to his stomach and grinned at him. “You know, I always wanted a granddaughter.”
**
When Adam woke up he blinked at the sunlight creeping through the window and rolled onto his side. A girl. His baby was a girl. Suddenly the thing growing inside of him wasn’t an it, wasn’t a thing but a baby. Something made of flesh, blood and grace; a real being that Adam had helped create. It might not be natural for him to be carrying it but it was still real and still his.
“Wow.” he said, mostly to himself and then lifted up his shirt a little to look at the swelling bump. “So, you’re my daughter? That’s pretty cool. Too many men in this family, I think we need a few girls to balance things out. You’re going to be so spoiled. They might pretend to be tough but I know Dean and Sam are going to dote on you. Just like me and your…and your dad. When he gets his ass down here and stops being an archangel full time.”
He swallowed then, wondering if he could make the next decision without Michael. He guessed Michael probably had some big plans for their kid. It wasn’t every day that men got knocked up and Adam wondered if Michael already had some important, heavenly name he was planning to bestow on her that would have some key to her meaning and purpose. Adam placed his hand over his swollen stomach and sighed.
“I’m going to call you Kate,” he told it and felt the baby move in response. “Yeah, you like that? Me too. Your dad’s just going to have to live with it. That’s what he gets for missing all these important moments.”
**
It wasn’t as if Adam wasn’t aware they were watching him, each taking turns checking on him through the night. He couldn’t help but wonder why. It wasn’t like he could run off. He was finding it hard enough getting up from the bed and going to the bathroom, running certainly wasn’t in the cards. Sometimes Adam didn’t even trust his legs to hold him up and he didn’t like thinking about the fact that Sam kept helping him along. It was embarrassing. He should have been fit and able-bodied but apparently being the world’s only, currently, pregnant man was causing him some problems in that department.
Gabriel kept turning up to regale him with stories about when angels had got it wrong before and ended up knocking up some guy somewhere. Gabriel himself seemed to have a few stories from his days as a Pagan God, which were eye opening. More often than not, the children of gods and mortals turned out to be the heroes of antiquity and legend. Adam just tried not to think about how often their lives had ended horribly and messily.
Castiel appeared infrequently but often enough that when Adam awoke to see a shadowy figure standing over him, he only blinked a few times and assumed it was Castiel. “I’m fine,” he said, waving his hand vaguely in the air. “I need to sleep. Go wake up Dean or something.”
He had half closed his eyes when he caught the glint of something in the air and he put out his hands, grabbing hold of the stranger - because it was a stranger and not Castiel - by its wrists trying to fight it off. The thing was strong and Adam was weak from pregnancy. “DEAN!” he shouted. “DEAN!”
His brother was in the room in an instant, gun cocked at the thing’s head and didn’t waste any time putting a bullet into its skull. Adam closed his eyes, not wanting to see the moment it died but the hands held in his grip didn’t slacken. He opened his eyes again, blanching as he saw the creatures head wound knitting back together.
“What the hell?” he gasped.
“Angel,” Dean rasped. He tossed his gun on the floor and threw himself bodily at the creature, trying to knock it away from Adam. He succeed in getting it a few centimeters off course and Adam vaulted from the cot and then crashed straight on to the floor, clutching at his stomach. “Adam, run!” Dean yelled, turning his head slightly as if trying to make sure that Adam wasn’t still in the room with them.
“I can’t!” Adam yelled back, doubling up in pain. The pain was blinding and Adam couldn’t concentrate on anything else. Dean’s momentary worry was all the angel needed to throw him bodily against the wall.
“Be still and let me kill you,” it said somberly, nearing Adam who whimpered. It held up its sword again. “You have become a liability.”
Adam was vaguely aware of Dean staggering to his feet, spitting out blood on the floor and he could hear the rush of footsteps down the stairs that must have been Sam, alerted by all that crashing and banging, coming to their rescue but he knew almost with painful inevitability that there wasn’t anything either of his brothers could do. He curled around himself, wanting to protect Kate from the blow.
And then everything seemed to tilt. There was the rush of wind over his face and Castiel was standing in front of him. He deflected the blow meant for Adam and drew his own sword. Then in a movement so graceful that Adam almost didn’t see it, he forced his sword through the other angel’s ribcage and into its heart. There was a burst of light and the empty vessel sagged in Castiel’s arms. Sam appeared panting in the doorway.
“Fuck, we’ll have to burn that,” he said, catching sight of the body and then he seemed to take in the rest of the room. “Adam? Are you alright?” he asked, crouching next to Adam’s side and helping to ease him up. The pain was still there but it was lessened somewhat now and Adam pressed his hand to his stomach.
“Yeah, I think…I think Kate is kicking.”
“Kate?” Sam asked, eyebrow raised.
“What I’m calling the baby,” Adam said defensively as Sam helped him up and back onto the cot.
“Yeah, don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Probably no broken bones!” Dean said, still partly doubled over. Castiel dropped the empty body, stepping over it to reach Dean’s side and he pressed his hand to Dean’s cheek, easing him up.
“Does that feel better?” he asked, watching Dean’s face worriedly.
“Much better. Good timing, Cas,” Dean murmured, reaching out to mirror the gesture, cupping Castiel’s cheek in his hand.
Sam coughed and the two pulled away from each other. Castiel seemed almost disappointed while Dean glanced sheepishly at his brothers and then shrugged as if to imply he would have had a tender moment with anyone after a sudden attack by a rogue angel and neither of them should read into it.
“So,” he asked, poking the corpse carefully with his shoe. “Which one of your brothers was that?”
“Iedidiel. He must have been desperate if he broke the wards I had set up. Or he was informed on how to bypass them.” Castiel’s frown deepened.
“Where’s Gabriel?” Sam asked, looking around the room. “I thought he was supposed to…I don’t know, watch out for us now?”
“Gabriel is…not here,” Castiel said with a shrug of his shoulders. Sam rolled his eyes.
“I can see that, Cas,” Hh muttered and Dean shot him a warning glance before prodding the body with his foot again. Whoever the angel had been wearing had been about forty, well-dressed. The angels seemed to like their vessels to be a bit more upper-class apart from the ones who wanted to be out and about wearing a Winchester.
“Don’t worry about Gabriel right now. We’ll bulk up security in the morning,” Dean said, rubbing his hands together. “Sammy, keep Adam safe here, make sure he’s fine and I don’t know, get him a glass of water or something. Cas, you and me are gonna build a bonfire.” Dean bent down, hefting the body over his shoulders. Castiel followed him obediently and Adam rolled his eyes.
“Make out more like,” he said, trying to shift so he could get comfortable again. Near death experiences were just a part of his life now. If he couldn’t sleep after them, he was probably never going to sleep again. Sam regarded him thoughtfully.
“How do you know it’s going to be a girl?” he asked seriously.
Adam yawned. “Oh, my mom told me. I saw her, in a dream. I thought I told you.”
“No,” Sam said. Adam was asleep again before he could ask another question.
**
Sam sat on the porch, peeling the label from his bottle of beer while staring into the distance. Dean had decided that they needed a reward for fighting off the angel even though Sam hadn’t done anything and Dean had gotten beaten pretty bad by it before Castiel turned up. Sam knew his brother really wanted a drink because he was shaken and that was how Dean dealt with any problems he was having, by drinking them away. Castiel had offered to stand guard over Adam and Sam had to admit that was probably the best course of action. Castiel would be better at defending Adam from whatever was after him. At least until they got a couple of bottles of holy oil out of the Impala’s trunk.
Nonetheless, the attack was worrying Sam.
“Dean,” he said quietly, drawing his brother’s attention from slugging down the whole bottle in one go. One day Sam was going to talk to him about his drinking, remind him how much Dean had hated it when dad got drunk but now wasn’t the time. There was a more pressing worry Sam needed to get off his chest. Dean’s drinking problem wasn’t going anywhere. There’d be time to sort that later. “I’ve been thinking. If Adam and Michael got out then maybe Lucifer got out too.”
Dean paused with the bottle halfway to his mouth. “Cas says he’s not,” he said.
Sam snorted. “Castiel already lied to you about this and he has a pretty good history of keeping things from you for the greater good. I know you two are best friends with benefits again but could you at least think reasonably about this.”
Dean pulled a face. “Don’t talk about Cas like that. We’re not…”
“Dean, I’m not interested in what you are or aren’t doing with Castiel. I’m just pointing out that he hasn’t been straight with us about what’s going on here.”
Dean sighed. “Any reason you need to bring this up?” he asked, voice cagy.
“If Lucifer is also free, why hasn’t he tried to find me?” Sam said.
Dean shrugged. “Easy answer. Cas is right. Lucifer isn’t free,” he said. There was an edge to his tone, as if he was daring Sam to call Castiel was a liar again. Sam wondered exactly what he and Castiel had done together while they were getting rid of the body. It must have been something pretty excellent for Dean to have such a complete turn of attitude towards the angel. Sam sighed, peeling off the final part of the label.
“Or Castiel doesn’t know what’s going on. Maybe they’re keeping him out of the loop,” Sam said, eager to get on with outlining his theory. Dean nodded as if that was acceptable to him and Sam continued. “Adam says he’s having dreams. Dreams where he sees his mother.”
“Nice,” Dean said, obviously not understanding Sam’s train of thought.
“Dean, do you remember how Lucifer used to turn up in my dreams? He’d appear as Jess.”
“Yeah, and he’d also try and get you to agree to something. So far Adam’s dreams have just contained annoying archangels and apparently his mom. Nothing bad.”
Sam sighed, frustrated that Dean wasn’t getting it. “But what if it isn’t his mom? What if that…that thing inside him isn’t Michael’s but Lucifer’s? What if this is some kind of attempt by Heaven and Hell to start the apocalypse again?”
Dean was quiet for a moment and then he stood up, unfolding to stand over Sam. “You’d think Adam would remember which one of them knocked him up, wouldn’t you?”
“It was Hell, Dean. And Lucifer is the prince of lies,” Sam said, looking up at his brother, studying Dean’s face not sure what Dean was going to do. He didn’t remember Hell. He didn’t remember what had happened to him down there and he couldn’t remember because if he did it would just break him apart. Adam had come back remarkably adjusted and he’d taken to the idea of pregnancy better than Sam would have, if it was him in Adam’s place. “We need to find out. Adam’s getting more attached to whatever’s growing inside him. He’s named it Kate.”
“Fine. Fine. You go talk to him,” Dean said, holding the door open. “None of this is natural.”
Sam stood up. “Yeah, you can say that again,” he agreed, patting Dean on the shoulder as he passed him.
**
“Hey, Adam,” Sam settled on his brother’s bedside, shaking Adam gently. He sent Castiel out to go keep Dean company on the porch and to stop him from drinking anymore. Adam felt frail under his hands, the bones in his shoulders were right at the surface and Sam could see how much weight he’d lost, except from around his stomach, which was growing at an alarming rate. Adam blinked out of sleep and then smiled at him.
“Sam?”
“Adam, I need to ask you something about…about Kate,” Sam said, picking his words carefully.
Adam’s smile faded slightly and he placed a hand to his swollen stomach.
“What about Kate?”
Sam paused for a moment. “Who’s her father?” he asked gently.
Adam frowned. “Michael. You know that, Sam. Michael’s the father and me, I’m the father too. I’m not suddenly a girl or anything.”
“No, I know that. How long where you and Michael together like that?” Sam asked. He didn’t want to hear about it. Michael had to have taken advantage of Adam. Adam had been frightened and alone in Hell. That was if Adam even remembered what happened.
“Right from the start,” Adam answered, his cheeks slightly red. “He was sorry he needed my body. He cared about me and when we were in Hell he protected me.”
“Do you remember Hell?”
Adam’s face furrowed and he shook his head. “No, I just remember Michael. I remember him.”
“Adam,” Sam said softly, placing his hand over Adam’s, feeling the swell of his stomach and it made Sam feel sick. It wasn’t right what was happening to Adam’s body or how readily Adam accepted it. “Could this be Lucifer’s baby?”
“No!” Adam hissed, pushing Sam’s hand away.
“Adam…”
“No, I know she’s Michael’s. I know she is.”
“Then why isn’t he here?” Sam exploded angrily. “Why has he been ignoring your prayers? I know you’re praying to him at night. I can hear you! He’s abandoned you and you can’t even remember Hell. What makes you think the angels aren’t lying to you this time? They lied to you before, didn’t they? Just because you’ve seen your mom you think everything’s okay? Adam, whatever that thing inside you is, it’s dangerous. We should cut it out of you now before it kills you.”
“No!” Adam said. “No! You’re not hurting Kate. You’re not!”
“It’s probably a demon, Adam. We should get it before it gets us.”
“She is not a demon. She’s my baby and Michael is the father and he hasn’t abandoned me. He loves me!”
“He’s an angel. They don’t even understand the concept of what love really is!”
Adam pulled back and punched Sam hard across the jaw. Sam hit the floor, more shocked than hurt and looked up at Adam in surprise. Adam gasped, pulling his hand to his chest and cradling it there.
“Adam…” Sam started.
“No! I don’t want to hear it, Sam,” Adam said, glancing down worriedly at his fingers and then back at his brother. “I know this is Michael’s baby. Ask Castiel. Ask Gabriel. They know! I’m keeping her, Sam. Do you think I don’t know this is weird? That I’m not terrified? I have no idea how this is even happening but it is and I’m not going to let anyone hurt her.”
“I don’t want you to die again!” Sam shouted. The silence that followed his outburst was chilling. Sam curled miserably around himself, staring up at Adam unhappily. “I have no idea what’s going on, Adam. I just want you safe. Angels are trying to kill you and your body can’t even support what’s happening to you. I can see it, you’re wasting away. What if Michael did this to you for some great plan?”
“I…I think it was a mistake,” Adam said quietly, fisting the blankets with his good hand. “I don’t think he planned for this to happen.”
“But you don’t remember,” Sam pointed out. “And he’s ignoring you now.”
“I don’t want to lose Kate,” Adam said stubbornly.
“I know but I don’t want to lose you and I’m always going to pick you over her,” Sam said, reaching up to rub his jaw where Adam had hit him. It was beginning to ache now.
“Maybe we should summon Michael?” Adam suggested, eyes wide.
“He hasn’t been answering you.”
“No, but he might come if Dean asked. Angels seem to like Dean.”
**
( Part One ) | ( Part Three )