Fic: A Symbol of Revenge
Thor would have worried about Loki in the cold and ice of Jotunheim but the moment their ships had birthed on the banks of the icy shore Loki had taken a deep breath and smiled. Thor wondered if he should have bought the youth with him. Loki was swollen now, his stomach looking perversely large where Loki was otherwise so small. Loki had teased him that it was because Thor was such a brute and their child was taking after him but Thor had seen the pain on Loki’s face when their child kicked. Loki might be built for this, to carry a child, but he was still a Frost Giant runt and Thor was an Asgardian Prince - glorious and golden and large.
Loki refused to be left home to convalesce in the safety of the palace. Thor had opened every door there for him, given him everything as he was the King now in the wake of his father’s death and still Loki had not been satisfied. Thor had always known that eventually they would march on Jotunheim but he had expected them to wait until their child was born but Loki would not allow that.
“When our son is born, Thor, I will not leave him. We cannot take a child on campaign.” Loki had said, laying in his arms in the throne room that had previously been barred to him, Thor’s hand stroking over his stomach. “I want to see my father’s downfall. Do not deny me this.”
And so Loki had come with them. Thor had wrapped him in enough furs to practically drown the boy and yet as they had come closer to the ice kingdom Loki’s skin had turned blue no matter how many kisses Thor gave his frozen lips. His eyes had reddened, the scars of his people beginning to appear, no matter how often Thor stroked his arms and tried to keep them hidden under pink skin. Loki had cast him sad glances.
“Do I disturb you?” He asked.
“No,” Thor answered truthfully. He had always thought of the Frost Giants as grotesque but there was nothing about Loki that did not please him. Whatever form he took, whatever shape, he was still Thor’s beloved and Thor could not find a fault in him. His warriors watched Loki with barely disguised fear. Loki was an enemy amongst them. He could be leading them into a trap they feared, a plan that he had concocted with his father.
Hadn’t Loki seduced Thor? Hadn’t he whispered words of poison into the Prince’s ear until he was so crazed that he murdered his own father so he could take the crown and secure Loki’s place amongst them? Thor had heard the whispers and wondered if why they could not accept the truth, that Loki had played the part that Odin had given him, had been the good and dutiful Thrall but it had been Thor who would not take part in the grotesque masquerade any longer. Even his oldest friends seemed to doubt the validity of Thor’s quest. Thor did not understand why they worried about whose idea it had been. No matter who had voiced the opinion first - he or Loki - they had both known that they would end up here, facing down Laufey.
It was fate.
**
They had pitched their tents overlooking the citadel and sent a herald ahead to declare their intentions for battle. It was archaic really, to fight like this in the frozen wastes of Jotunheim and already his men were suffering but Loki had instructed them to build large fires. The Jotun would not come near them, he had assured Sif as she built the fire high, shivering a little in its glow, his skin turning from blue to pink and then back again as if Loki himself could not decide if he should give into his true form or keep the glamour to which everyone else had become accustomed.
Thor made his tent a little away from the fire in Loki’s preference. He swathed himself in layers of furs to fight the chill that threatened to creep into his bones while Loki slowly divested himself of every carefully applied layer till he was almost naked.
“If I did not think your warriors would be shocked I would wear nothing.” He told Thor, his hands pressing on the swollen bump of his stomach and Thor did not know if his men would be more alarmed to see Loki naked or to see him pregnant and unashamed of the fact. It was one of the things Thor did find himself admiring of the Jotun - the way they respected their bodies, did not find them something to be shocked by. They were ugly creatures but in the way they embraced themselves they were rather beautiful. None though were as beautiful as Loki. In the safety of their tent he had let himself go, let his true form emerge and Thor opened his arms to him.
He had always heard that should he touch a Frost Giant then he would be burnt by the coldness of their skin but either that was a lie or Loki was being careful with him. He touched him with his bare hands, ran them down over Loki’s smooth, strangely icy skin and Loki sighed contentedly.
“It is so much easier to carry your child when I am like this.” He said and Thor wondered how that could be but he did not know very much of the biology of a Frost Giant. He knew Loki was both male and female in the reproductive sense although Loki was a man and he wondered if this way Loki did not have to use so much enchantment, if his body naturally took the right form and Loki did not have to waste his energy on the magic of making everything work. Thor knew how much magic tired Loki now, how much effort it took to cast a spell when all his energy went on protecting and providing for the child growing inside him.
Loki, as he had said he would, loved their child more than Thor could have believed possible. He woke often to hear Loki talking to it, head bowed and arms curled around his stomach as if he was already cuddling their child to him. He lay still and listened to Loki’s stories of how their child would grow to be a great King. He spoke of the worlds that he would invade on his child’s behalf, how after Jotunheim there were still other realms for them to conquer.
Thor wondered when Loki had grown so bloodthirsty or maybe he had always had that gleam in his eye, maybe he had always been that way. Once everywhere was under their control then there could be nothing to hurt Loki, no one who could come and force him into a life he did not want. For so long Loki had been a pawn in someone else’s game. It made sense to Thor that now the youth would want some control over his future. He had Thor and Thor had an army. Loki could ask for whatever he wanted and Thor would find it for him. If what Loki truly desired was to control all the nine realms then Thor would fight those battles for him till he could proclaim Loki the emperor of all of them.
The stories he liked best though, the ones he lay awake hoping for, where the ones when Loki told their child how he and Thor had fallen in love. Loki never spared the details - the moment he had been gifted to Thor as his bed companion, the first time they had lain together and Thor had promised not to hurt him, how Loki had slowly grown to trust Thor, to view him as a protector in the strange land. He told their child how he had been conceived, how Odin - his own grandfather - had wanted their child destroyed and how Thor had slain him. Although Thor remembered all of it, the way Loki told the story was hypnotising. He especially liked the moment where he was crowned King and Loki stood by his side, just a little bump showing through his robes, and they hoisted Odin’s head up on the palace walls to remind any who thought of rebellion what fate awaited them.
Thor might have come to power in blood but he was a fair ruler. His people were happy even if not trustful of the beautiful Jotun at his side. Once their child was born though Thor knew his people would come to love Loki as much as he did. They could not fail to love the mother of their future ruler.
That was months behind them now. Loki was so close to giving birth now that Thor, even holding him close and relishing having Loki with him, wondered if he shouldn’t have left him home. He knew Loki would never accept being left behind like that and that Loki would never forgive him if Thor did abandon him home like that but he still worried about Loki.
Loki shifted in his arms, obviously aware of the change in Thor’s demeanour and he tapped Thor gently on the cheek.
“If you are thinking of sending me away, know that I won’t go.” He said and Thor sighed. He could not help but wonder if he had always been so easy to read or if Loki simply had a gift where he was concerned.
“I do not want our child hurt.” He said. He planned to keep Loki back from the fighting as best he could but Loki was their weapon here. He knew the kingdom. It might have changed slightly since he had been there but it had been only a few years and Thor doubted it had changed so much in that time. Almost from the day he had been crowned he had had his men making weapons to Loki’s specifications, weapons meant to kill the Frost Giants, not simply wound them.
Loki sighed, moving restlessly in Thor’s arms. “And I do not want you hurt. You need me, Thor. And this is my revenge. It was not your father who made you a bargaining chip. He didn’t send you to live in strange land where you were told from the moment you arrived that you were nothing more than a bed warmer. I was lucky, Thor, that I was given to you. I was lucky we fell in love.” He entwined his fingers in Thor’s hair, tugging him down to kiss him hungrily. Thor couldn’t help but be deterred from his fears when Loki was like this. Ever since he had killed his father Loki had been more open with him, more loving. It was Loki now who started their love making more often than not, Loki who crawled into his lap and made Thor take him right there seated in the throne because while Thor was the King, Loki was always his ruler.
He had been under Loki’s command from the moment the boy had been gifted to him. From the second he had looked into Loki’s cold green eyes and wanted him he had been lost. Thor had never been more grateful for that fact as he was now. He would still be the dutiful son, considering every word from his father’s mouth to be the truth and waiting patiently for the throne that should rightfully have been his if it were not for Loki.
He broke the kiss and Loki moaned, reaching for him again. Thor laughed softly.
“You’re so eager for me now, Loki.” He murmured and Loki looked at him without any shame. He stood, divesting himself of the final fur he had kept wrapped about himself for decencies sake and letting Thor see him as he was - naked and erect, his cock throbbing between his legs, beading white at the tip.
“It’s not the only place I’m wet for you.” He said and Thor’s eyes widened. Loki laughed at him, a pleased look spreading on his face. “I told you it would be easier like this, didn’t I?”
Thor reached forward, grabbing hold of Loki about the waist and pulling him down, back into Thor’s lap.
“You are beautiful like this, Loki. If you want to show this form in Asgard then do not hide it. I love you however you look.” He whispered, pressing kisses to Loki’s collarbones and Loki writhed against him, wrapping his legs around Thor and Thor felt it then, the wetness Loki was leaking. He wouldn’t need any oil or slick to get inside Loki this time. The youth was ready for him, open for him and Thor found himself suddenly painfully hard. He pushed Loki away, and the boy fell back in the furs, laughing as Thor scrambled to rid himself of his clothes.
Loki spread his legs, watching Thor hungrily and he ran his fingers down to touch his hole, pressing them in and groaning eagerly. Thor paused, unable to tear his eyes away from Loki. Every time Loki was wanton like this, open like this, Thor fell in love with him a little more.
“Thor.” Loki groaned, bucking up on to his fingers and then he pulled them free, glistening with his slick, and bought them to his lips, licking them. “I want you, Thor.” He commanded and Thor shoved his britches down, kicking them off and joined Loki in the furs. He tugged him close, kissing Loki, wanting to taste the boy and Loki moaned appreciatively.
Thor wanted every part of him, wanted to pin Loki under him and ravish him but he was more aware now than ever of the fact that Loki was with child. Loki was too delicate for that and Thor didn’t want to risk the possibility for hurting him or their son. He knew that Loki would never forgive him if he did. Carefully he rolled them so Loki was atop him. Loki braced his hands against Thor’s chest, smiling down at him.
“So careful.” He said, praising Thor and Thor basked in his kindness. He would never get enough of Loki’s praise, of knowing that Loki was happy with him. He ran his hands over Loki’s swollen stomach and smiled up at his lover. Loki moved then, straddling Thor and raised himself up over his cock. His icy little fingers wrapped around it and for a moment Thor was lost in the contradicts between them, in the strangeness of Loki and then Loki was guiding his cock into him, forcing himself down on to the thick head of it and Thor forgot everything about skin colour and the fact that Loki was an ‘other’ and instead he groaned, eyes rolling back in his head. Loki was wet and welcoming, warm where Thor would have thought he’d be cold and Thor trembled with the effort of holding himself back.
Loki sank all the way down on his cock and Thor struggled to open his eyes and look at Loki’s face, to make certain that Loki was enjoying this because it would be too easy to lose himself in the pleasure of Loki clenching tight around him and forget that his beautiful lover might not be enjoying it as much. Loki’s fingers racked at his chest, sending painful little spikes of ice through Thor and he gripped Loki’s hips, a gentle reminder to Loki not to lose himself now, not after he had been so careful before. Loki smiled at him.
“I know, I know. Be careful with you too.” He said, rocking his hips slowly. They had the time to be slow together, to love one and other. Loki took his time now. He ran his hands gently over Thor, no longer hurting him. With every slow rise and fall of his hips Thor was drawn deeper into him. He watched Loki’s face intently, saw every single sign of pleasure there, saw every moment where Loki worked himself up almost to the edge and then stopped himself. Soon Thor could take it no longer. He reached out, fingers wrapping around Loki’s cock and stroked him. Loki made a noise - half-way between surprise and delight and a second later he was coming, spurting in great thick strands over Thor’s hand.
He clenched tight around Thor’s cock and Thor felt the sticky wetness that flooded him there. Thor knew that feeling, he knew the heat from the times he had lain with women but he had given them up when Loki came into his life. He would have none but Loki but now he realised what was meant when they said Jotun were both man and woman. Loki shook now, his whole body wrecked and Thor could only guess that this was the strongest he had come in such a long time. Loki was panting now, leaning over Thor and still so slick around him. Thor rocked his hips gently - once, twice - and followed him over the edge.
Slowly Loki slid down onto him, keeping them joined together and he pressed his lips to Thor’s.
“My King.” He murmured happily, laying his head against Thor’s shoulder and Thor wrapped his arms around him tightly.
He was the King but what was Loki? There was no name for what he was now. Loki was his everything and their child would be Thor’s heir and yet Loki was not acknowledged as he should be. If Thor died on the battlefield then what would happen to Loki? Would he be shunned? Set away? Killed by his people who did not yet accept him?
“I want to marry you.” He said and Loki raised his head. For a moment he looked uncertain, as if this was not something he had considered and then he nodded.
“Yes.” He agreed.
“Before the battle.” Thor insisted. He did not want to die or face the possibility of death and not have Loki sworn to him in every way and possibility. Not because of a contract, not because Loki had been made to but because Loki had offered his hand and Thor had accepted it. They would rule together and Loki would have a title befitting that right. They would be the Kings of Asgard and the rulers of all.
**
Loki had nothing to swap as a ring. He had been bought to Asgard without any worldly possessions. He himself had been the gift. No jewels had accompanied him, no silver or gold because Loki was worth more than all of that. Thor could drape him in all the treasures in the palace but they would never be Loki’s, not like the treasures that had been his father’s and were now barred from him.
“When we have killed my father,” He said, smoothing own the folds on Thor’s cloak, enjoying how handsome the man looked in the light of the fire that they stood beside. “Then I will pick something from our treasures and you will wear it always to show everyone that you are mine.”
Thor made a noise of approval, his arm going round Loki’s waist to pull the youth closer to him and Loki laughed as their noses brushed. It was safer now that he showed himself as belonging to Thor. They waited now, before the army, to swap vows that would bind them together just as surely as any contract signed by their fathers had done.
This time though they stood together as equals even if no one else saw it. Thor had asked him and Loki had accepted. It was still safer now if Loki took Thor’s mark. There was a battle brewing and they had these moments to steal and only these. Loki didn’t allow himself to consider the prospect that he might lose Thor. He would never allow it. He would use his magic and all of his power to keep Thor safe. He would stay by Thor’s side even in battle, even if Thor wanted him to stay back in the encampment. Loki knew the land they were fighting on, he knew the people they were fighting. It wasn’t unusual for a Frost Giant to go into battle pregnant. That was a fact he was keeping from Thor. He did not want Thor or his warriors to hesitate in their killing. After all, his father would not keep from cutting Loki down even if Loki was nearing his time. Loki’s child was a danger to Laufey after all as much as his troublesome runt was now a danger to him too. Laufey wouldn’t hesitate to kill Loki now he had stopped being useful and Loki could not afford for anyone he fought with to have a moment of doubt.
Thor took his hand, holding it tightly in his own and that bought Loki back to the present - to the words he was supposed to say, to the eyes watching him and to Thor. No one could deny this moment. Thor had taken everything of his father’s - his crown, his amour, his sword and even the ring he had worn on his wedding day.
And now, before his army he placed that ring on Loki’s finger and claimed Loki as his own King.
For a moment there was silence and for a second Loki worried. He worried that this had been too soon, that his true form was too much for them, that Thor was not as beloved as Loki had always assumed he was. Then the clapping started. He glanced sideways to see the Lady Sif and then others joined in and Loki felt sudden relief. Thor was a good and just ruler and he had good friends. Loki wondered if they could ever be his friends too or if he would always be one step removed from them.
Then Thor kissed him and Loki did not think any longer on the things missing from his life. He had Thor and tomorrow he would have his father’s head. Those were the only things he needed now.
**
Even with Loki’s help it was not an easy battle. No sooner had they slain a troop of giants then ten more would appear to fill their place. There were so many of them and it was their sheer numbers that was overwhelming, not their strength. They were easy to kill as long as they did not come to close, as long as they did not touch. Thor had lost count of the number of warriors who had been set upon, their bodies frost bitten and broken by the giants. Still they had made it into the capital. Loki had been at his side every moment, his magic a shield and a defence against any attack. Thor had his hammer and he had smashed the gates open with them, taken down the warriors that waited on the other side, hungry to spill his blood as Loki had cast his spells and kept them protected from the projectiles rained down on them from above. Thor would never stay back in a fight, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t lead his men into a battle he was not prepared to be at the head of and as they climbed over what was left of the ice gates he turned back to help Loki. Loki was beginning to look tired; he sagged against Thor as Thor helped him down. He would never leave his men but he had never been to battle with Loki before.
“Should I take you back?” He asked. They were so close to the final push but Loki was carrying his child and Thor wouldn’t risk them. Loki looked up at him, a shade disappointed and then shook his head.
“No, Thor. I am tired, yes. Carrying your child is a draining responsibility but I will not go back. Not while my father still lives.” He pushed Thor away and strode on and Thor hurried after him. It was as if the rest of the battle did not exist to Loki. Men fell dead at his feet and he walked on. Arrows were shot at him and turned to dust before they hit their spot. Thor wondered where they were headed, walking in the footsteps Loki left behind, smashing down any Jotun who was stupid enough to realise that they were facing down the new King of Asgard.
He followed Loki into the palace made of ice. Inside the walls of the palace there were more frost giants but these fell to their knees as Loki made his way passed them and Thor realised that they must be his people, the ones whom Loki had talked of when he first came to live with Thor before he had given up the idea of returning home as a beloved, wanted son. The giants Thor had killed were Laufey’s army but the ones in here were children or for some reason kept out of the fighting. Either they remembered their young prince or they had already given themselves over to Loki as their new King.
“My father will be in his throne room, no doubt.” Loki said. His tone was light, jolly even and Thor placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. He turned Loki to face him to find that Loki did not look happy. His mouth was set in a frown, his hands clenched and for a moment Thor wondered if he should plead for mercy on Laufey’s behalf but he knew that there could be no mercy.
“Be careful.” He said, pressing a kiss to Loki’s forehead. “Do not get too confident.”
Loki smiled. “I am not overconfident, Thor. I know my father is waiting for me. I know he intends my death just as I intend his. I want to prove to him that I am not the runt he should have abandoned. I will do that by killing him.” His smile was fleeting and then he turned, continuing his walk and Thor followed him far more nervously now. Even if he had his hammer he could not promise that he would be able to strike fast enough to protect Loki and his Loki had only his magic to protect him. His magic which ebbed and flowed with Loki’s strength. Loki had been protecting him for the entire battle and more than a little of his magic followed to protect their child. Thor hurried now; suddenly frightened that if he let Loki from his sight for a moment then Loki would be stuck down. Even if Loki did not want to show it, Thor knew his beloved and he knew when Loki was vulnerable and now was that time.
At the end of the corridor there were beautiful ornate doors, caved with the same sorts of scars carved into Loki’s skin and Thor had never considered the Jotun to be skilled craftsmen but he could see the beauty in the design now. Loki pushed the doors open and they gave easily under his hands, not locked. Laufey was waiting for him as Loki had said he would be. There was no royal guard, no one but the King and Loki raised his head high, chin jutting out, and his shoulders squared in a manner Thor remembered he would always hold himself in when he had to be in Odin’s presence. Loki was afraid, Thor realised, and fighting as hard as he could not to show it.
“Father. I have returned.” He said and his father smiled at him.
As much as Thor loved Loki he could find nothing of his beautiful lover in his father’s features. Laufey was everything Thor had always grown to believe the Jotun were - ugly, cold, all angles and spikes. It was hard to believe that he could have produced Loki and yet there was something in his eyes, an understanding that Thor found oddly echoed in his face.
Laufey stood, descending from his throne, his arms thrown wide almost in a gesture of welcome.
“Loki. It has been a long time. And carrying my grandchild, how very fitting after all the times the Asgaridan has bought you low.” He murmured.
Loki stood his ground, showing no signs of anger even as Laufey stepped closer. Thor clenched his hand around his hammers handle, waiting for a signal from Loki, some sign that he wanted Thor’s help because Thor would happily cleave the very head from Laufey’s shoulders if Loki asked it of him. He had done it to his own father. Doing it to Laufey would not be so hard.
“I am proud of you, Loki.” Laufey continued. “When I sent you to the Asgardians I thought I have removed a problem from my household. I had not expected that you would do so well for yourself. When I heard how you had manipulated Thor into killing his own father I wondered if I had made a mistake in ridding myself of you so soon. Now you are home, my son, as a hero to your people. Kill the Asgardian now and come home properly, Loki. I will even let you keep that runt you are carrying.”
“Loki…” Thor did not need to voice the question. He was certain that Loki would not betray him, that Loki had never betrayed him and whatever manipulation Laufey talked about was all in his own mind but hadn’t Loki told him the first time they had met, alone in Thor’s bedchambers, that he would kill him? Had that been Loki’s plan all along? Had the kisses and the sweetness of Loki’s mouth all been a lie to get him to this point?
Loki opened his arms and stepped forward into his father’s embrace and Thor felt his heart plummet like a stone.
“Father.” Loki murmured and for a moment Laufey’s face was contented.
Thor hardly saw the movement of Loki’s hand. One moment he had been holding on to Laufey, hugging him as if he had never had a moment where his father had been proud of him and then within the blink of an eye he had moved, and a knife Thor hadn’t even known Loki had with him was embedded in Laufey’s neck.
Laufey staggered back from him, reaching his hand out for Loki, as if shocked that Loki could have found a way to trick him.
“The Asgardian is my husband.” Loki spat out, advancing on Laufey as the King reeled away from him, falling down and crawling backwards towards his throne. “I have always been an asset to this house, father, I have always been the strongest of your sons and you made a mistake when you traded me.”
He knelt at his father’s side, pulling free the knife from Laufey’s neck and his father gasped for breath. Loki toyed with the knife, smiling down at the dying frost giant.
“And our child is not a runt.” He said, his voice so deathly quiet Thor would not have heard him if he had not been listening intently. Loki raised his hand and drove the knife deep into Laufey’s chest. His father’s body twitched and then stilled. Loki stood up slowly, backing away from the body and Thor realised now that he was crying. He didn’t know when Loki had begun to cry but he couldn’t stand it when he did. He dropped his hammer and wrapped his arms around Loki.
“It’s over now. It’s over.” He promised Loki as Loki wept into his chest.
Thor knew Loki was crying because it was finished. His father had been proud of him at the end, had wanted him at the end but only on his terms and Loki had outgrown him. He didn’t need his father’s approval any longer. Loki was not his runt, not his pawn, not his symbol.
He was his own now, the way he always should have been.
**
Loki sighed. Thor settled beside him, their child in his arms and Loki’s ring on his finger. Loki had plucked it from the treasury, chosen it as the most beautiful of all his father’s possessions. There was a dark red jewel in the centre of the ring. It glinted now in the light as Thor passed their child across to Loki.
“Where next?” Thor asked. They had any number of maps laid out on the bed in front of them, all the other realms that they could conquer.
“I would think Midgard next.” Loki said, rocking the baby in his arms gently. “It would be an easy fight for our warriors. I think they will thank you for that. We can take Iokl with us.”
“And there I thought you’d be staying home now you had the baby to take care of.” Thor teased him gently, reaching across to take one of his son’s tiny hands in his large ones. The baby, Iokl, opened wide green eyes and yawed upon seeing his father’s face. Loki laughed softly.
“As if I would let you go alone.” He said. “As if we would. You would be lonely without Iokl and I.”
“Midgard it is then.” Thor agreed. He reached for the nearest map and laid it out in front of them. “Look, Iokl. This will be yours. I will take it for you.”
Loki smiled. He knew that Thor would do what he said. He would conquer that world and gift it to their child. Their child who was the perfect culmination of the revenge they had both had. He - the mixture of both their bloodlines - would rule over their kingdoms and more besides. In his arms little Iokl shifted, waving his arms in the air and Loki bent his head to quickly kiss the child’s soft cheek. He and Thor and their revenge might be coated in blood but their child would take everything cleanly. It was the best promise that Loki could make to him. He would never be considered a runt or a nothing. He would never be a bargaining chip. They would build an empire for their son, the way their fathers should have built empires for them. Iokl would never have a reason to take up a sword against his parents; never have a reason to rebel.
He would never be a symbol.