It's been awhile.......
So.. alot of things have been going on lately..
sorry for being gone so long...
alot of dealing on with fighting sickness's.. and just school is kicking my ass....
I'll write more and get things back on track........... I've been thinking lately and just read if you want
Everyone has to deal with heartbreaks. It’s only human. But the thing that doesn’t make sense is the faster you are over them, it seems the more it comes back up. You’re supposed to look at the good side of things, the happy moments and the good memories right? I mean I do that, but then I realize those memories can’t be taken back into time, where I can relive the thought of a certain hug, kiss, story, or special time. Sometimes I wonder why is it, that I still dwell on something, that I no longer can have. Not even knowing if I want it back, but why must I go through all the thoughts still and then have the “what if” thoughts. What if this happened instead of that, what if I got feelings back, those questions can never be answered and to be honest I don’t want them to. Everything happens for a reason. The beginnings, the endings, the hellos and the goodbyes. It’s over and done with. I’d be living in chaos for so long if I were to rely on “what if” and was it me, or was it you. I took my fault but did you? Do you think about the past? I was your first, am I going to remembered? Funny how people change, but its even more funnier, when everything about them changes after so long. Why must people change? Is it another way to escape what they miss having, or another option instead of running away? I’ve ran. I’ve cried. I’ve dealt with the realization of things I yet have still not encountered. People noticed what I went through, gave the “I’m sorry” responses and the “his lost” but really was it his lost? I mean what if it’s really my lost, the way I had vision it for the longest amount of time. That’s besides the fact, and not a big deal my lost or his, I can get by without knowing whose lose it was. Let things go, they’ll come back right? If it’s true and meant to be, it will come back to you. I gave up on that. If it’s meant to be why would ever of gone away? Yes I understand the part about realizing the truth behind wanting it, but still why be in misery for a partial time when that partial time can be of happiness? In relationships you realize you change. Friends, and relationships do not mix. You can’t mix your friends into your relationship. Friends are there for you through the times of need and just the little boost of energy. They are you’re boost of energy, what gets you by. Relationships are the chaos and stressful times you go through. Everyone goes through them, its not just certain people. Once you involve friends into the relationship, opinions get boosted, people take sides and the drama begins. I’d rather keep my friends and relationships as acquaintances. That way it’s short, sweet, and simple. The radio. It’s a bitch. You hear about relationships going bad on the radio, listen to what the girl/guy did that was wrong. Then it’s the good ole songs. One little song can change your mood. You begin listening to lyrics more carefully. Instantly your mind takes toll, and you begin thinking of that one special time or you begin to realize what you once had that you no longer have. Love, it’s not unfortunate. It’s a powerful thing, that can either keep going or get shut down.
sorry for being gone so long...
alot of dealing on with fighting sickness's.. and just school is kicking my ass....
I'll write more and get things back on track........... I've been thinking lately and just read if you want
Everyone has to deal with heartbreaks. It’s only human. But the thing that doesn’t make sense is the faster you are over them, it seems the more it comes back up. You’re supposed to look at the good side of things, the happy moments and the good memories right? I mean I do that, but then I realize those memories can’t be taken back into time, where I can relive the thought of a certain hug, kiss, story, or special time. Sometimes I wonder why is it, that I still dwell on something, that I no longer can have. Not even knowing if I want it back, but why must I go through all the thoughts still and then have the “what if” thoughts. What if this happened instead of that, what if I got feelings back, those questions can never be answered and to be honest I don’t want them to. Everything happens for a reason. The beginnings, the endings, the hellos and the goodbyes. It’s over and done with. I’d be living in chaos for so long if I were to rely on “what if” and was it me, or was it you. I took my fault but did you? Do you think about the past? I was your first, am I going to remembered? Funny how people change, but its even more funnier, when everything about them changes after so long. Why must people change? Is it another way to escape what they miss having, or another option instead of running away? I’ve ran. I’ve cried. I’ve dealt with the realization of things I yet have still not encountered. People noticed what I went through, gave the “I’m sorry” responses and the “his lost” but really was it his lost? I mean what if it’s really my lost, the way I had vision it for the longest amount of time. That’s besides the fact, and not a big deal my lost or his, I can get by without knowing whose lose it was. Let things go, they’ll come back right? If it’s true and meant to be, it will come back to you. I gave up on that. If it’s meant to be why would ever of gone away? Yes I understand the part about realizing the truth behind wanting it, but still why be in misery for a partial time when that partial time can be of happiness? In relationships you realize you change. Friends, and relationships do not mix. You can’t mix your friends into your relationship. Friends are there for you through the times of need and just the little boost of energy. They are you’re boost of energy, what gets you by. Relationships are the chaos and stressful times you go through. Everyone goes through them, its not just certain people. Once you involve friends into the relationship, opinions get boosted, people take sides and the drama begins. I’d rather keep my friends and relationships as acquaintances. That way it’s short, sweet, and simple. The radio. It’s a bitch. You hear about relationships going bad on the radio, listen to what the girl/guy did that was wrong. Then it’s the good ole songs. One little song can change your mood. You begin listening to lyrics more carefully. Instantly your mind takes toll, and you begin thinking of that one special time or you begin to realize what you once had that you no longer have. Love, it’s not unfortunate. It’s a powerful thing, that can either keep going or get shut down.