Afraid- A Song Fic
Her shins felt smooth and warm underneath his touch. He stood up, his hands still exploring her legs. She let him unhinge her tiny denim prison, kicking it off her feet while it dropped onto the floor. He, too, obliged her when she unbuckled his jeans and ripped them down.
Without words, he took her hand and led her toward his bed. She lay down, her head hitting the pillow.
He saw her chest heave rhythmically as he propped himself above her. She felt his fingers curl inside of her and a small rush of air escaped her open mouth. He stripped off her basic black knickers with his other hand. She writhed impatiently while his fingers worked in and out her, occasionally massaging her clit. She yanked at his boxers so powerfully that they came off immediately. Her back arched and she let out a low keening noise.
Although he usually loved the anticipation that coincided with foreplay, he soon grew eager to fill her. He needed her and he knew that she needed him. Her hands journeyed up and down the length of him. The hardness escalated while she stroked. The touch was minimal, but it was enough. His fingers drew out of her. She parted her legs a little more in preparation for him. His fingers held fast to her hips as he slowly thrust into her. He pushed and pushed with such vigor that he almost hurt her.
The sound of her scream conveyed that her experience evoked pleasure. She wanted it to hurt. Her warped idea of punishment, she had once confessed to him. A sort of physical torture, yet ecstasy at same time. Her body needed the physical pain to numb the tugging at her heart.
He felt her come apart while he was still inside. He loved the way he could make her orgasm so swiftly and he loved being inside of her when she did. Sweat plastered a lock of her hair to her face. He moved it away and pushed again and again until he was completely within her. He collapsed as his hands clamped on to her shoulders. She sensed him kiss her underneath her eye, then her nose. Their lips discovered each other once more. Her tongue wrestled its way into his mouth fully. The sloppy, wet, and lazy kiss continued for minutes until finally he rested his head on her chest. He clamped onto her waist and turned them both on their sides, making no effort to pull out of her yet. Finally he came and she ran her hands through his cropped hair.
They parted lips and bodies, but still stayed tangled in each other, his arms around the small of her back and her arms around his shoulders.
“Can we just stay like this for a while?” she asked, staring into his eyes.
His gaze was hollow. He knew he would lose her eventually, so he raked his hands through her tresses and answered, “Yes, love, yes. For however long you need.”
For however long I need.
He watched her eyes closed as he faded into sleep.
Hours later, when darkness still loomed outside his window, he woke up in a haze. She was rushing around his apartment in her underwear looking for her clothes, strewn about his living room. He rubbed his eyes as she gathered her shirt and skirt, throwing them on haphazardly. She ran over to give him a quick peck on the lips, like she had been doing it for years. As if they knew they would be together again like this. “I’ll be back again soon. I promise,” Kristen whispered, lying on his bed on her stomach. She sat up on the edge and put on her boots, scurrying out the door.
Now there’s no place like home
to make me feel alone
I see you everywhere I am and I remember
how you ran out to hide
and kept me close behind
Following your every move so I’d remember
And there he was, as daylight arrived. “I miss you already,” he said to the empty space around him.
“Don’t leave.”
I look for you
but I can’t see your face
Then I hear you
The only thing you say
He looked at the pillow next to him and saw a note scrawled in her handwriting on a scrap napkin.
“Hey, I had to get home. Sorry I didn’t say bye. We’ll be back at work soon enough. See ya then. Don’t call me. Just know that I’ll miss you.”
-Kris
is don’t look for me
You will never see
and you won’t hear me
You won’t hear me
“Please, come back. Please, please.”
He realized she wouldn’t return for a while. Last night’s fix was enough. For now. Why do we do this to each other?, he wondered. It could be so much easier. But she would never admit what she really wanted or needed from him. Not until moments like last night, when the tension they both carried had become too much to bear.
Why do we keep this up?
Why do we live like us?
When there is nothing left to save,
will you be afraid?
I am afraid right now
You already let me down
You are the one who can’t be saved
If only I could say
I am afraid right now
You never will get out
You’ll never let yourself be saved
You are so afraid
You are so afraid
Without words, he took her hand and led her toward his bed. She lay down, her head hitting the pillow.
He saw her chest heave rhythmically as he propped himself above her. She felt his fingers curl inside of her and a small rush of air escaped her open mouth. He stripped off her basic black knickers with his other hand. She writhed impatiently while his fingers worked in and out her, occasionally massaging her clit. She yanked at his boxers so powerfully that they came off immediately. Her back arched and she let out a low keening noise.
Although he usually loved the anticipation that coincided with foreplay, he soon grew eager to fill her. He needed her and he knew that she needed him. Her hands journeyed up and down the length of him. The hardness escalated while she stroked. The touch was minimal, but it was enough. His fingers drew out of her. She parted her legs a little more in preparation for him. His fingers held fast to her hips as he slowly thrust into her. He pushed and pushed with such vigor that he almost hurt her.
The sound of her scream conveyed that her experience evoked pleasure. She wanted it to hurt. Her warped idea of punishment, she had once confessed to him. A sort of physical torture, yet ecstasy at same time. Her body needed the physical pain to numb the tugging at her heart.
He felt her come apart while he was still inside. He loved the way he could make her orgasm so swiftly and he loved being inside of her when she did. Sweat plastered a lock of her hair to her face. He moved it away and pushed again and again until he was completely within her. He collapsed as his hands clamped on to her shoulders. She sensed him kiss her underneath her eye, then her nose. Their lips discovered each other once more. Her tongue wrestled its way into his mouth fully. The sloppy, wet, and lazy kiss continued for minutes until finally he rested his head on her chest. He clamped onto her waist and turned them both on their sides, making no effort to pull out of her yet. Finally he came and she ran her hands through his cropped hair.
They parted lips and bodies, but still stayed tangled in each other, his arms around the small of her back and her arms around his shoulders.
“Can we just stay like this for a while?” she asked, staring into his eyes.
His gaze was hollow. He knew he would lose her eventually, so he raked his hands through her tresses and answered, “Yes, love, yes. For however long you need.”
For however long I need.
He watched her eyes closed as he faded into sleep.
Hours later, when darkness still loomed outside his window, he woke up in a haze. She was rushing around his apartment in her underwear looking for her clothes, strewn about his living room. He rubbed his eyes as she gathered her shirt and skirt, throwing them on haphazardly. She ran over to give him a quick peck on the lips, like she had been doing it for years. As if they knew they would be together again like this. “I’ll be back again soon. I promise,” Kristen whispered, lying on his bed on her stomach. She sat up on the edge and put on her boots, scurrying out the door.
Now there’s no place like home
to make me feel alone
I see you everywhere I am and I remember
how you ran out to hide
and kept me close behind
Following your every move so I’d remember
And there he was, as daylight arrived. “I miss you already,” he said to the empty space around him.
“Don’t leave.”
I look for you
but I can’t see your face
Then I hear you
The only thing you say
He looked at the pillow next to him and saw a note scrawled in her handwriting on a scrap napkin.
“Hey, I had to get home. Sorry I didn’t say bye. We’ll be back at work soon enough. See ya then. Don’t call me. Just know that I’ll miss you.”
-Kris
is don’t look for me
You will never see
and you won’t hear me
You won’t hear me
“Please, come back. Please, please.”
He realized she wouldn’t return for a while. Last night’s fix was enough. For now. Why do we do this to each other?, he wondered. It could be so much easier. But she would never admit what she really wanted or needed from him. Not until moments like last night, when the tension they both carried had become too much to bear.
Why do we keep this up?
Why do we live like us?
When there is nothing left to save,
will you be afraid?
I am afraid right now
You already let me down
You are the one who can’t be saved
If only I could say
I am afraid right now
You never will get out
You’ll never let yourself be saved
You are so afraid
You are so afraid