roses and dreams...
a.yellow.rose.makes.it.all.better.
have you ever had a dream where everything was perfect? you liked what was happening, who was there, everything smelled right, felt right. the colors were perfect, you weren't too hot or too cool. you liked what you were wearing and what you were doing. it's paradise. and then you wake and it all disolves away. i just had one of those perfect dreams. and i woke up and i realized that my dream was... you know what? i was going to say impossible. and then talk about all the reasons why, but for once, i'm just going to let something stand on its own, without a cradle of negativity if it doesn't work. just know that if this were my reality, i could not ask for more.
this is what my dream was.
i was at home, in this really cool beat up studio apartment in new york with paint all over the place and drawings on the wall and this one really beat up dark pink couch that i loved. and i was painting something, i don't remember what. i think it was a black rose. after i got done painting i showered and put on this outfit that i love. it may seem shallow, but fuck it, it's my dream. it was this t-shirt with an old Yo! MTV Raps! symbol on it. i had on this skirt with black and white stripes on it and low-top yellow converse. (you kinda have to know what the Yo MTV Raps symbol looks like to understand why i'm wearing yellow shoes) i picked up my guitar which has a red rose painted on it, i don't know where this thing with roses came from for me. oh yeah it's an acoustic guitar. (by the way i actually have this guitar, i'm still taking lessons tho so i don't know how to play more than a few chords) and i played it for a bit and then i put it in it's case, put the case on my back. and left my apartment. all of a sudden when i closed my door, i was sitting on a stool on stage with a rose pinned in my hair in this spoken word/music/mini art gallery/cafe called downbeat. (this place actually exists, it's pretty awesome) i took my guitar off, set it down and took it out of it's case. when i looked out to see who was in the audience all of my friends where there. everyone who i love and cherish was there to watch and support me. i scanned the crowd and saw people i hadn't seen in years. everyone who loved me, and i loved them in my entire life was there. so i pulled my guitar up so it was resting on my knees, nervously said hello into the mic, and started to play. but it was some song i had never heard before. i liked the song, but i hadn't heard it anywhere before in my entire life. and then i started to sing. (everyone who knows me knows i like to sing, but do not have either the talent or the cahones to go up in front of people and do it) and people were clapping along and all of a sudden, on stage, there were all these candles. tons of them. of all different widths and sizes. and then i blinked and i could really see in detail everyone's face. and then i blinked again and my show was over and people started throwing yellow roses (my favorite flower) on stage.
and then i woke up.
i'm going to make this happen. i refuse not to. this is me, what i've always wanted. all laid out here for me. you all know me to be flighty, but i'm serious this time. i'm going to do this. and no one can stop me.
<3
jade