(no subject)
right after i posted today's rant, news of jerry falwell's death came to my attention. and just when i thought nothing could make my day better.
*
this man...
...got me into college.
i was applying to bennington, and as part of my application, i wrote an essay on being a lesbian in falwell country. i spent quite a bit of time in lynchburg/campbell county in my youth, and watched gay friends lose everything to come out. some died, and some got thrown out and beat up; they lost jobs and lost their minds. last i heard, my first femme friend was married to a guy and had a couple of kids. now, i realize that sexuality is fluid and can evolve, it just seems odd to me that so many got sucked into the marriage and babies trap. so few people leave. so few are able to withstand the cultural pressure and really do it differently.
i learned in my small new england college that very few people realize there really is a falwell country, and that queer people do in fact live in it. when they learn this, they think we're all either insane or self-hating. i was asked constantly how i could choose to remain in the south, and how i could love it so much, given the racism and misogyny, the homophobia and poverty. 'because,' i would say, 'it is my home, and i reject the notion that there is not room for me there, too.'
jerry falwell has been a powerful man living 45 minutes away since before i was born. i came out in his town as a 16 year old. i kissed my best friend in front of him at a gas pump on wards road (much to her surprise, i might add. just call me the politically motivated kissing bandit.). the man, the church, the school, the businesses shaped my ideas of the world around me. he has embarrassed me (queers, pagans and feminists caused 9/11? tinky-winky is gay?), angered me, and downright tickled in his last few less lucid years. but whatever my response to him, i could never ignore him. i had to become in spite of him.
falwell country will have it's memorials. he was a very powerful man, especially here, but i don't believe that history will be kind to him. i don't believe that time is on the side of the religious right. oh, they'll always be around to boycott, bust or burn some damn thing, but i don't think their legacy will be...very inspiring. the news report i read today said that falwell had "a history of heart challenges." i say truer words ain't ever been spoken. i was raised in the southern baptist christian church. there's plenty i've left behind and plenty i still try to believe in. there are still places i cannot return to. too much has happened. i can't and won't go back. i am shaped by these people. my whole community is. i know falwell's church and school and such will continue, but what i want to say now is that we will, too. because this community is resilient, tough, ornery, and nobody can say we don't have heart.
it was pointed out to me today that it is distasteful and uncouth to cheer the news of someone's death the way that i did this afternoon. maybe they're right. but you know what? i've come up a healthy, happy queer in the midst of hate spread in the name of political gain and profit. i've had to withstand the right cheering the ill fortune of my people, and i have to say that just this once, i'm entitled.
so here's to you, ol'boy. good luck, good riddance and godspeed. i'm only sorry that you didn't do a better job with your life, influence, power and money. you could've done some good.
oh, well...and bottoms up.
cheers, y'all.
*
this man...
...got me into college.
i was applying to bennington, and as part of my application, i wrote an essay on being a lesbian in falwell country. i spent quite a bit of time in lynchburg/campbell county in my youth, and watched gay friends lose everything to come out. some died, and some got thrown out and beat up; they lost jobs and lost their minds. last i heard, my first femme friend was married to a guy and had a couple of kids. now, i realize that sexuality is fluid and can evolve, it just seems odd to me that so many got sucked into the marriage and babies trap. so few people leave. so few are able to withstand the cultural pressure and really do it differently.
i learned in my small new england college that very few people realize there really is a falwell country, and that queer people do in fact live in it. when they learn this, they think we're all either insane or self-hating. i was asked constantly how i could choose to remain in the south, and how i could love it so much, given the racism and misogyny, the homophobia and poverty. 'because,' i would say, 'it is my home, and i reject the notion that there is not room for me there, too.'
jerry falwell has been a powerful man living 45 minutes away since before i was born. i came out in his town as a 16 year old. i kissed my best friend in front of him at a gas pump on wards road (much to her surprise, i might add. just call me the politically motivated kissing bandit.). the man, the church, the school, the businesses shaped my ideas of the world around me. he has embarrassed me (queers, pagans and feminists caused 9/11? tinky-winky is gay?), angered me, and downright tickled in his last few less lucid years. but whatever my response to him, i could never ignore him. i had to become in spite of him.
falwell country will have it's memorials. he was a very powerful man, especially here, but i don't believe that history will be kind to him. i don't believe that time is on the side of the religious right. oh, they'll always be around to boycott, bust or burn some damn thing, but i don't think their legacy will be...very inspiring. the news report i read today said that falwell had "a history of heart challenges." i say truer words ain't ever been spoken. i was raised in the southern baptist christian church. there's plenty i've left behind and plenty i still try to believe in. there are still places i cannot return to. too much has happened. i can't and won't go back. i am shaped by these people. my whole community is. i know falwell's church and school and such will continue, but what i want to say now is that we will, too. because this community is resilient, tough, ornery, and nobody can say we don't have heart.
it was pointed out to me today that it is distasteful and uncouth to cheer the news of someone's death the way that i did this afternoon. maybe they're right. but you know what? i've come up a healthy, happy queer in the midst of hate spread in the name of political gain and profit. i've had to withstand the right cheering the ill fortune of my people, and i have to say that just this once, i'm entitled.
so here's to you, ol'boy. good luck, good riddance and godspeed. i'm only sorry that you didn't do a better job with your life, influence, power and money. you could've done some good.
oh, well...and bottoms up.
cheers, y'all.