(no subject)
I see its come to that time of year again where it is cold enough for girls to wear scarfs but for some reason a jacket is just out of the question...I just don't get it. Today was interesting, chess got into town and we went x-mas shopping with wintey. We all power walked through walmart and stuck together as not to get sucked into the crowd of mad women with lots of kids just waiting for that perfect price. I've been spending most of my free time glued to the tv grasping my booze. There is nothing better then watching desperate housewives and getting a little tossed...I can't resist that damn show, I am coming to terms with the fact that yes..I do remind myself of my mother. And I am TOTALLY freaking out because we alreay watched the first season and the second doesn't come out for a while. I must find another way to get through the day!
It is all one can do to escape the mind...
So I went to a psychologist because everyone I know thinks it might be a good idea to get a professional opinion. It happened almost like I was in a movie. Dr. Guy:" Are you...depressed?" me:"well if I said that I wasn't then you'd think I was lying to make myself look okay and therefor in denial..but if I said that yes I am depressed, it runs in my family and I'm afraid I'm going to crack then you'll just put me on a bunch of drugs because you think I'm a threat to myself or possibly others...either way, do you really think after this many years of mental practice that, that is really the right question to ask?"
After a long pause and a couple of discouraged looks he tried a different approach. Dr. Guy: Okay, how do you feel about your mother?" me:"....are you kidding?" The converstaion lasted probably an hour and a half and it was excruciating. I think after you've done something like that for a long time people are no longer individuals, when it comes down to it everyone has one of 10 problems..it was like he tried listing them off until he found the right one, and then the rant I got was used and watered down. nevertheless I do agree with him on something, he thinks that I have panic attacks and said he will basically give me something to help when I start to freak out. This is a prozac nation.
People try so hard to be happy. Keeping there lives busy as hell so that they don't have to stop..sometimes if you just stop...you see a different world. I don't know what I am getting at. I will talk to you all later~
It is all one can do to escape the mind...
So I went to a psychologist because everyone I know thinks it might be a good idea to get a professional opinion. It happened almost like I was in a movie. Dr. Guy:" Are you...depressed?" me:"well if I said that I wasn't then you'd think I was lying to make myself look okay and therefor in denial..but if I said that yes I am depressed, it runs in my family and I'm afraid I'm going to crack then you'll just put me on a bunch of drugs because you think I'm a threat to myself or possibly others...either way, do you really think after this many years of mental practice that, that is really the right question to ask?"
After a long pause and a couple of discouraged looks he tried a different approach. Dr. Guy: Okay, how do you feel about your mother?" me:"....are you kidding?" The converstaion lasted probably an hour and a half and it was excruciating. I think after you've done something like that for a long time people are no longer individuals, when it comes down to it everyone has one of 10 problems..it was like he tried listing them off until he found the right one, and then the rant I got was used and watered down. nevertheless I do agree with him on something, he thinks that I have panic attacks and said he will basically give me something to help when I start to freak out. This is a prozac nation.
People try so hard to be happy. Keeping there lives busy as hell so that they don't have to stop..sometimes if you just stop...you see a different world. I don't know what I am getting at. I will talk to you all later~