Things Are Going To Change Now For The Better.
Facts Versus Romance.
[Disclaimer: I don't think anyone reads this, I personally don't really look at LiveJournal all that much, but please don't judge me on my typing or grammar. Please&&ThankYou's.]
Sometimes I think everything is going wrong but when I think about it it really isn't that bad. Everything that's "going wrong" in my life is because I made poor choices. I'm the only one that can fix them and that's what I plan on doing.
I need to start being a better person. I went and listened to a Priest talk about forgiveness last week and I got the answer I have been looking for through this whole mess of things. My first relationship was the biggest eye opener of my life so far. I wouldn't be who I am, I wouldn't know how to stand up for myself, and I wouldn't know how to love someone else. I let myself turn into a bitter cynical person and made myself believe that i couldn't be loved. Maybe it's hard to love me maybe whoever I'm with in the future maybe we'll have to work on it BUT I deserve to be loved. I don't need to hang my head in shame because I was young and didn't know that the person i chose to love didn't know how to love me back.. Not to say I know what loves all about now but I have a pretty good idea of what it could be like.
Loving another person is the most rewarding feeling ever but unfortunately it brings out the worst in people. I said I would never date ever again but that was a bad cop out. What I should have said was... I will never consider dating/being with someone if they couldn't love me as much as I love them. And love me for me...even if I like to drink, smoke, act a fool, play all nite sleep all day or play all day and
nite...whatever I couldn't and don't want to change into what someone else wants. I know what I want out of life and I'm going to get it. Eventually. Thats DipSet Bitch.
And as for my past I apologize for all of my mistakes. The guilt that floods my head, you wouldn't believe.
I'm still trying to believe in the good people sometimes there's no use in trying. But I still am.
Always smile and say hi, strangers. It's warm and inviting.
I think I live a good life I can't really complain even though I do, I really am lucky.
I'm done with just being content with my life.
I want to be happy, that's all anyone can really ask for.
School and work. We all know I need a new J-O-B.
I'm going to go to school and take some good ass classes. Bet.
I am capable. I will do something good with my life.
I Finally Let You Go.
I love the sunshine.