Prepare yourself...
for a really long emo ranting entry. && go ahead and get pissed off, leave me dirty comments i don't give a fuck. it's my journal and i don't give a rats ass what you all think of me at this point.
i don't even know where to start i'm so fdajljfdkal;.
my mom and dad don't get along ever anymore. once again. it's fucking annoying. they don't even talk about anything all they do is just give each other attitudes till eventually one says "fuck" and than they kiss goodnight and go to bed. it's like why bother kissing each other if you don't really care about each other. how can you possibly care for somebody and treat them like such shit.
no wonder i'm so horrible at relationships. because i do everything that they do without even realizing it. god this fucking sucks.
and than my sister, no matter what i say i always get a tude or she gives me her opinion when i don't want it and don't ask for it. if your sick go to the doctors. if your sick go lay down in your room. if your stressed out do something to make you not so stressed out. DO FUCKING SOMETHING I DON'T GET A FUCK WHAT. just get the fuck off of my back all the time. treat dad like shit since he supposivly treats you like such shit. i do not have an attitude towards you lately. i say one thing and you bitch attack me. than you keep going on and on and on and does dad yell at you when you go and on? no he just only does it to me when i go on and on and on which i don't do anymore because theres this thing called GROWING UP. that no body has done in this family.
and then theres mike and hes mad at me and i completely understand why but i dont want him mad at me anymore and im probably making this more of a big deal then he is but whatever. and its way to personal to even type but i'm just basically saying i'm a hypocrit to the max and i don't even mean to be. it's just so irritating.
i just want to be happy.
and cory never talks to me anymore. i say one thing he says another. its like we arent even talking to each other. and i have a feeling we arent even going to hang out over spring break and its just stupid how much i care. why do i care so much about somebody i know so little about? its retarded i'm retarded.
i can't even make a smoothie tonight. the blueberries werent breaking up and i can not stand eating blueberries, let alone frozen and i was pissed and then i forgot to close the spot and it went all over the counter and i wasnt realizing it. yeah yeah its hillarious huh? maybe to you but to me it wasnt. i had like 3 bites of it and than i gave up.
i hate when things dont go my way and i dont care if its immature. it is who i am.
i applyed to three colleges. we'll see what ones i get into.
maybe i will stay home or maybe i'll get an apartment.
i could even go to the school in auburn. that way i'd only be an hour from home and i could come home when i wanted but still went to school.
i'm just sick of life.
i want to tear my hair out.
i want to just cut myself.
but i know thats stupid and pointless.
its like drinking.
your problems are still there in the end.
but itd probably feel really good to just pull my hair.
or punch the shit out of you.
either one. :]
yeah i think i might be done.
oh and russell. i love him, alot. he's my best friend EVER. and he means the world to me and when he talks about going back into the service it freaking breaks my heart like no other. he says it when he gets really mad at his family and is like "i dont care if they dont support me" okay i support russell in whatever he wants to do but seriously i dont want him evergoing back and thats basically because im selfish.
this diet, i havent lost any weight. if i dont buy the end of week three. im giving up. maybe ill join the Y or bally total fitness or something. i'm tired, i'm lonely, i'm crying, i'm cold, my back hurts, i want to be hugged, i need to be hugged and i need to feel like somebody other than one person loves me in this world but lately thats all i'm feeling and it fucking sucks.
i don't even know where to start i'm so fdajljfdkal;.
my mom and dad don't get along ever anymore. once again. it's fucking annoying. they don't even talk about anything all they do is just give each other attitudes till eventually one says "fuck" and than they kiss goodnight and go to bed. it's like why bother kissing each other if you don't really care about each other. how can you possibly care for somebody and treat them like such shit.
no wonder i'm so horrible at relationships. because i do everything that they do without even realizing it. god this fucking sucks.
and than my sister, no matter what i say i always get a tude or she gives me her opinion when i don't want it and don't ask for it. if your sick go to the doctors. if your sick go lay down in your room. if your stressed out do something to make you not so stressed out. DO FUCKING SOMETHING I DON'T GET A FUCK WHAT. just get the fuck off of my back all the time. treat dad like shit since he supposivly treats you like such shit. i do not have an attitude towards you lately. i say one thing and you bitch attack me. than you keep going on and on and on and does dad yell at you when you go and on? no he just only does it to me when i go on and on and on which i don't do anymore because theres this thing called GROWING UP. that no body has done in this family.
and then theres mike and hes mad at me and i completely understand why but i dont want him mad at me anymore and im probably making this more of a big deal then he is but whatever. and its way to personal to even type but i'm just basically saying i'm a hypocrit to the max and i don't even mean to be. it's just so irritating.
i just want to be happy.
and cory never talks to me anymore. i say one thing he says another. its like we arent even talking to each other. and i have a feeling we arent even going to hang out over spring break and its just stupid how much i care. why do i care so much about somebody i know so little about? its retarded i'm retarded.
i can't even make a smoothie tonight. the blueberries werent breaking up and i can not stand eating blueberries, let alone frozen and i was pissed and then i forgot to close the spot and it went all over the counter and i wasnt realizing it. yeah yeah its hillarious huh? maybe to you but to me it wasnt. i had like 3 bites of it and than i gave up.
i hate when things dont go my way and i dont care if its immature. it is who i am.
i applyed to three colleges. we'll see what ones i get into.
maybe i will stay home or maybe i'll get an apartment.
i could even go to the school in auburn. that way i'd only be an hour from home and i could come home when i wanted but still went to school.
i'm just sick of life.
i want to tear my hair out.
i want to just cut myself.
but i know thats stupid and pointless.
its like drinking.
your problems are still there in the end.
but itd probably feel really good to just pull my hair.
or punch the shit out of you.
either one. :]
yeah i think i might be done.
oh and russell. i love him, alot. he's my best friend EVER. and he means the world to me and when he talks about going back into the service it freaking breaks my heart like no other. he says it when he gets really mad at his family and is like "i dont care if they dont support me" okay i support russell in whatever he wants to do but seriously i dont want him evergoing back and thats basically because im selfish.
this diet, i havent lost any weight. if i dont buy the end of week three. im giving up. maybe ill join the Y or bally total fitness or something. i'm tired, i'm lonely, i'm crying, i'm cold, my back hurts, i want to be hugged, i need to be hugged and i need to feel like somebody other than one person loves me in this world but lately thats all i'm feeling and it fucking sucks.