I wish everyone knew.

[believemee]

I wish we all knew who we were suppose to be dating, spending time with and getting to know. It'd be so much easier on everybody. But than again we couldn't grow from new experiances.

I wish I knew rather or not I was suppose to be with Russell.
He's really funny && caring but sometimes I'm like "are you really happy carissa"?
And than I'm like "why blow something so good?" but is it really good? I don't know it's just so confusing.

I don't think I'll ever be in a relationship where I'm truely and completely happy. I don't think I will ever be able to please myself.

That's why I haven't had sex with Russell because to me, I don't know if he is the one I'm suppose to lose it too. It's that big of a deal to me.

I know this is going to piss off Russell or make him depressed but I really am beginning not to care.

I don't know what to do. I wish a sign from God would just appear and be like "do this" or "do that".

_________________
I've been so depressed lately it blows so much ass.