I wish the world was flat.
I haven't updated in awhile so I figured I would.
I was super emo most of the day yesterday. I didn't start cheering up any until like 1030 at night. It was nuts. I was having one of my emo Carissa moments and I was writing down stuff in my room and it was partly about my brother and how I wish he would just take me away from this house with him and just realize I do miss him and I'm glad and proud of him even though he has fucked up alot. Yeah but than when I went to hop into bed latttttte at like 2 am it was nuts. I saw I had a text message from my brother and it said "hey its bub..i can't sleep and i was just thinkin about you i miss you...love you". I was like wow wtf that is so weird. I texted him back eventually and he told me to go to sleep. I had such ahard time sleeping last night. I finally fell asleep around 245 am and woke up at like 930am. It was nuts. Odd thing is I still don't feel that tired. I didn't even feel tired last night.
I was having serious conversations with a few people last night && it felt good. I love talking to people who can actually talk to me. I hate always joking around about EVERY LITTLE THING. It's retarded && a very boring life after a while. So it was nice to actually her some input from Cory && others.
I'm going to apply to some colleges here in a few weeks. Once I get my Buffalo State application in the mail. I'm going to apply there && at Erie Community College which are both in Buffalo. I really hope I get into Buff State. I've wanted to go there for like 2 years now. I'd be going to buff. state for major in pscyhology && minor in social welfare. It'd be awesome.
My dad && sister are taking, what was once MY car into Joey's garage. So it's finally getting fixed but key fact: I'm not getting it. Crystal is. Which I'm kindof okay with and kind of not. I want a car so bad and now I have to wait for spring but yet Crystal && Dan both had cars really quick once they got their license. I've had my license for over 6 months now and I don't have a car. I want a car so I can get a job and save up money so I can move this summer but by the looks of it I'm never going to leave this house. Cory told me to write up a contract and have my dad sign it saying I do and will get moms car in the spring. Or something like that. Because he agrees, it is retarded. && I know Crystal needs a car. It's nothing against her at all really. It's just the fact that I'm trying to actually better my life and I feel like my parents are holding me back. Maybe they are because I'm the baby but I wish they would seriously STOP.
Dads stopping at mcdonalds for supper too.JOY!. I'm getting 2 hamburgers, a large fry and orange soda. Yupppppp. No body is online right now.
I'm going to Russell's house on Thursday. Crystals driving me down. I'm excited and anxious and nervous and really nervous even more! lol. Once I get the first's out of the way I'll be ok. Once I actually stay a night at his house, meet his parents and siblings for the first time than I'll be okay. But until then I'm going to be so nervous and pulling out my hair.Ahh I'm not excited about my face turning RED at all. LOL.
K i'm going to go for now. I really miss Maximus, my doggy. I really do. I love him. K I'm going for reals. I love you byebye.
I was super emo most of the day yesterday. I didn't start cheering up any until like 1030 at night. It was nuts. I was having one of my emo Carissa moments and I was writing down stuff in my room and it was partly about my brother and how I wish he would just take me away from this house with him and just realize I do miss him and I'm glad and proud of him even though he has fucked up alot. Yeah but than when I went to hop into bed latttttte at like 2 am it was nuts. I saw I had a text message from my brother and it said "hey its bub..i can't sleep and i was just thinkin about you i miss you...love you". I was like wow wtf that is so weird. I texted him back eventually and he told me to go to sleep. I had such ahard time sleeping last night. I finally fell asleep around 245 am and woke up at like 930am. It was nuts. Odd thing is I still don't feel that tired. I didn't even feel tired last night.
I was having serious conversations with a few people last night && it felt good. I love talking to people who can actually talk to me. I hate always joking around about EVERY LITTLE THING. It's retarded && a very boring life after a while. So it was nice to actually her some input from Cory && others.
I'm going to apply to some colleges here in a few weeks. Once I get my Buffalo State application in the mail. I'm going to apply there && at Erie Community College which are both in Buffalo. I really hope I get into Buff State. I've wanted to go there for like 2 years now. I'd be going to buff. state for major in pscyhology && minor in social welfare. It'd be awesome.
My dad && sister are taking, what was once MY car into Joey's garage. So it's finally getting fixed but key fact: I'm not getting it. Crystal is. Which I'm kindof okay with and kind of not. I want a car so bad and now I have to wait for spring but yet Crystal && Dan both had cars really quick once they got their license. I've had my license for over 6 months now and I don't have a car. I want a car so I can get a job and save up money so I can move this summer but by the looks of it I'm never going to leave this house. Cory told me to write up a contract and have my dad sign it saying I do and will get moms car in the spring. Or something like that. Because he agrees, it is retarded. && I know Crystal needs a car. It's nothing against her at all really. It's just the fact that I'm trying to actually better my life and I feel like my parents are holding me back. Maybe they are because I'm the baby but I wish they would seriously STOP.
Dads stopping at mcdonalds for supper too.JOY!. I'm getting 2 hamburgers, a large fry and orange soda. Yupppppp. No body is online right now.
I'm going to Russell's house on Thursday. Crystals driving me down. I'm excited and anxious and nervous and really nervous even more! lol. Once I get the first's out of the way I'll be ok. Once I actually stay a night at his house, meet his parents and siblings for the first time than I'll be okay. But until then I'm going to be so nervous and pulling out my hair.Ahh I'm not excited about my face turning RED at all. LOL.
K i'm going to go for now. I really miss Maximus, my doggy. I really do. I love him. K I'm going for reals. I love you byebye.