(no subject)
Title: The ripped wings of Narcissus
Genre: mild angst, Vacation universe
Pairing: JaeShik
Summary: After seeing Jaejoong in the hospital Changshik slowly becomes obsessed with him to the point of becoming a stalker.
AN: I promised megera23 a JaeShik fanfic so here it is… I have to pay due thanks to JJ Lin’s Sha shou. If it wasn’t for that song I’d have never written this.
Two weeks have passed since that day. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw you. Couldn’t believe you existed, didn’t understand how you could be so exquisite when every morning I frowned at my own reflection. Do you truly look like me, or am I imagining the resemblance? You are beautiful. You are what I wish and strive to be. A rosebud that has bloomed magnificently. Your features resemble those of a porcelain doll. I want to touch your pure, angel-white skin, but wouldn’t that mar it? If your ruby lips were to meet mine, crude and inferior to yours, would they take on the color of diluted wine..?
I wake up each morning with your face in my mind. Even as I listen to my mother speak I cannot help but imagine your gentle smile. Why? I’m obsessed. These feelings came uninvited, made a home in my heart and I don’t know how to get rid of them. I’m afraid I’m going crazy. It’s not normal, it can’t be normal to think of you so much.
I can’t take this anymore. I need to see you again. Magazine clippings are not enough. You’re different there. Your perfection is dimmed by the pages’ gloss. Before I saw you in that hospital I never thought a human could look like you did then. It was as if you’d just stepped out of the TV set, like you didn’t belong out here with mortal people. Everyone has always said we looked alike, but… It’s a lie. Our noses, eyes, lips may be identical in shape, but I look nothing like you. You’re unearthly, shining from the inside with something alien to me. I want to meet you so bad… I checked out your schedule at DNBN and waited outside of KBS. It’s been half an hour since recording finished and you’re still not out. What’s taking you so long?! I pace back and forth nervously. Ten more minutes pass and… There you are! A door opens, revealing your figure. Pain strikes me as I see you again after what seems like an eternity. You laugh at a joke and my heart skips a beat. So beautiful! Could I ever be like you…? I hide into the shadow of the building as you pass by me in a minivan.
This is love. It must be love. Do you understand? You have to. You’re the only one in the world who could. I pray that you wouldn’t think of me as a madman. I can’t control myself anymore. I need to see you every day. My yearning is growing increasingly desperate. I’m afraid. If it continues like this it’s only a matter of time until you uncover me. But what can I do? If I don’t see you every day my heart suffers. You’re my drug, my addiction and I can’t let you go. I can’t go to sleep if I’m not sure you’ve returned home safely. I can’ eat when I’ve seen you frowning. I need to know you’re alright. My feelings for you suck me dry of my normal life. This must be love.
How could they?! You’re hurt, your hot blood is trickling down your lips and yet they’ve left you to deal with the pain on your own. Some friends they are… The urge to wipe the blood away is so strong… There would be nothing wrong in approaching you, right? You wouldn’t think much of it, would you? So many try to talk to you each day, it wouldn’t matter if I came and asked about your wound.
As soon as you hear my voice your head snaps up and you stare at me as if I’m the first thing you’ve seen in your life. You forget all about your bleeding lips and reach for mine instead. Amazement is easy to read in your eyes, but I imagine there’s something else too. Appreciation? Am I as beautiful to you as you are to me…? Impossible! Yet your heavenly fingers trace my lips and your eyes are following mine. I nearly faint. I see what’s that thing that shines within you - happiness. If I were happy… would I be as gorgeous as you? I touch the blood with my fingers, and then lock my lips with your own. You taste of cigarette smoke and mint candy. So normal my head spins. Then why is it that when I glance into your bewildered eyes before I run away I still think you’re so maddening?
Genre: mild angst, Vacation universe
Pairing: JaeShik
Summary: After seeing Jaejoong in the hospital Changshik slowly becomes obsessed with him to the point of becoming a stalker.
AN: I promised megera23 a JaeShik fanfic so here it is… I have to pay due thanks to JJ Lin’s Sha shou. If it wasn’t for that song I’d have never written this.
Two weeks have passed since that day. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw you. Couldn’t believe you existed, didn’t understand how you could be so exquisite when every morning I frowned at my own reflection. Do you truly look like me, or am I imagining the resemblance? You are beautiful. You are what I wish and strive to be. A rosebud that has bloomed magnificently. Your features resemble those of a porcelain doll. I want to touch your pure, angel-white skin, but wouldn’t that mar it? If your ruby lips were to meet mine, crude and inferior to yours, would they take on the color of diluted wine..?
I wake up each morning with your face in my mind. Even as I listen to my mother speak I cannot help but imagine your gentle smile. Why? I’m obsessed. These feelings came uninvited, made a home in my heart and I don’t know how to get rid of them. I’m afraid I’m going crazy. It’s not normal, it can’t be normal to think of you so much.
I can’t take this anymore. I need to see you again. Magazine clippings are not enough. You’re different there. Your perfection is dimmed by the pages’ gloss. Before I saw you in that hospital I never thought a human could look like you did then. It was as if you’d just stepped out of the TV set, like you didn’t belong out here with mortal people. Everyone has always said we looked alike, but… It’s a lie. Our noses, eyes, lips may be identical in shape, but I look nothing like you. You’re unearthly, shining from the inside with something alien to me. I want to meet you so bad… I checked out your schedule at DNBN and waited outside of KBS. It’s been half an hour since recording finished and you’re still not out. What’s taking you so long?! I pace back and forth nervously. Ten more minutes pass and… There you are! A door opens, revealing your figure. Pain strikes me as I see you again after what seems like an eternity. You laugh at a joke and my heart skips a beat. So beautiful! Could I ever be like you…? I hide into the shadow of the building as you pass by me in a minivan.
This is love. It must be love. Do you understand? You have to. You’re the only one in the world who could. I pray that you wouldn’t think of me as a madman. I can’t control myself anymore. I need to see you every day. My yearning is growing increasingly desperate. I’m afraid. If it continues like this it’s only a matter of time until you uncover me. But what can I do? If I don’t see you every day my heart suffers. You’re my drug, my addiction and I can’t let you go. I can’t go to sleep if I’m not sure you’ve returned home safely. I can’ eat when I’ve seen you frowning. I need to know you’re alright. My feelings for you suck me dry of my normal life. This must be love.
How could they?! You’re hurt, your hot blood is trickling down your lips and yet they’ve left you to deal with the pain on your own. Some friends they are… The urge to wipe the blood away is so strong… There would be nothing wrong in approaching you, right? You wouldn’t think much of it, would you? So many try to talk to you each day, it wouldn’t matter if I came and asked about your wound.
As soon as you hear my voice your head snaps up and you stare at me as if I’m the first thing you’ve seen in your life. You forget all about your bleeding lips and reach for mine instead. Amazement is easy to read in your eyes, but I imagine there’s something else too. Appreciation? Am I as beautiful to you as you are to me…? Impossible! Yet your heavenly fingers trace my lips and your eyes are following mine. I nearly faint. I see what’s that thing that shines within you - happiness. If I were happy… would I be as gorgeous as you? I touch the blood with my fingers, and then lock my lips with your own. You taste of cigarette smoke and mint candy. So normal my head spins. Then why is it that when I glance into your bewildered eyes before I run away I still think you’re so maddening?