femmephobia and masc-centric attitudes in white queer circles

[belenen]

icon: "distance (two hands (from a brown person and a white person) just barely apart, facing each other palm to palm)"I have a dirty little secret to share about the queer world: it's just as misogynistic as the straight cis world, and even more femmephobic. At least among straight cis people it's fine for one group of people (women) to be femme,

Comments

[miss_ljv]

The difference between expectations in the north vs south is something I never thought of with regards to queer culture. As a MN native and dweller, I can confirm that femme is the accepted standard for both afab and amab; though, at least in the Twin Cities, masc is accepted to varying degrees depending on the desire (think Paul Bunyan here - MN's obsession with the lumberjack look for cis and queer is true).

I'm so sorry that you're experiencing loneliness and non-acceptance there. *hugs*

[hana_broom]

Wow - this is interesting... I've been involved in different groups/communities based on different stuff, but I left them because I hate the stereotyping that occurs... I just really can't be bothered to get involved with any others!

[shermarama]

Aargh, it's horrible when finding the right people is such a pain. I can only offer some cheer-leading for giving it another go, because out of 5 million people, surely, surely...? I'm in New Zealand, where the whole country is only 4.5 million of us... and I'm in the fourth-largest city in the country and that's, well, that's up to 250k depending what you count but it's still a bloody village by the standards I'm used to. The first queer group I encountered here was the obvious one, the Hamilton Pride group, and at the time that was mainly gay men; I'd sometimes be the only woman at socials. Many of the group were chatty and friendly, not obviously pushing me out for being female or anything (then again, I'm not very femme) but these were not the people I was looking for, and it felt really isolating. It took me several more months to find out there was a Lesbian Social Group (but they don't seem to have many queer / bi members) and a queer softball team (many bi / queer / trans members, cool, but I'm abysmal at ball sports and am

[jeune_fleur]

I'm not super involved in the queer community, so I'm definitely surprised by what I'm reading. I can't believe it, tbh...