what makes social interactions easier or harder for me in one-on-one and group settings

[belenen]

icon: "imperious (photo of me w imperious expression wearing "Red Queen" makeup: searingly red lips, darkened pointed eyebrows, black eyeliner, deep red & black eyeshadow accented with gold & silver, and black-outlined silver hearts & diamonds with red shadows on my cheeks)".

prompt from secret_keep: what can make a social interaction easier for you? Harder

Comments

[webgirluk]

I related to this entry a lot and I'm with you over your description of how a conversation works best. What I find is often in person or by letter/email, people often kind of speak back but don't always interact with my words. If someone tells me something that mattered to them, like went on a date and found they had common ground, my way of replying might be "That's brilliant you got to go on a date with X and found you had unexpected commonalities. How did you come to know them to begin with? What commonalities did you find or most surprised you? I haven't been on a date now since .... etc etc. I like the exchange of giving feedback but as well asking interesting questions/making observations to lead the chat on and make the person feel seen and heard. I do this best over things that interest me, also although I'll always try with things I'm not AS interested in as I know it can matter to someone else. Oddly enough, I don't ask many question on lj at random and I'm having to think about why this is. I think it's partly as I see the exchange as being between a post and an interactive reply, generally, otherwise dialogue would continue forever in one thread only, rather than progressing to another post made.

Meeting on a one to one is definitely easier when you have that link between you or multiple conversation links that bring you together. It's a starting block to kick start a friendship, even if over the years, it is not what keeps it flourishing.

I love how you try and make people fit in and feel at ease in groups and it's something I admire in out going people. I'm an introvert with an out going side with people I know very well. I'm better on a one to one and grateful to people like you in a group situation.

I too struggle with "meet access" in the logistics of getting to a place and something I find hard to deal with and acknowledge when I meet new people. Meeting new friends would definitely be easier if every potential lived on the same road or were very happy with being the person to lead it and pick me up.

I prefer meets that cost less money as well, partly as like you, I don't earn a living wage but as well, I tend to value more the simple pleasures of life and being with friends creating our own moments using imagination over paying to go out and for effectively someone else's imagination.

[belenen]

people often kind of speak back but don't always interact with my words

OMG I know exactly what you mean and I find it so frustrating! when I read an email and reply, I go line by line and ask myself, "do I have any thoughts or questions about this line?" I value thoroughness which is part of the reason I put off replying -- I can't just fire off a quick response. I often copy the whole thing into my compose window and then delete each sentence as I have replied to it (or determined that I have no response).

And I feel you on using one's own imagination rather than paying to borrow someone else's. If I set aside time for someone, I do not want to spend it focused on something else. The only time this is not true is when I have easy chances to spend time with someone and we both need down time. But with most people, spending time is no easy chance!