pushing back on cis bigotry using... confusion

[belenen]

icon: "confused (photo of a purple diamond-shaped sign with a line leading to four arrows all curving and pointing in different directions)"Earlier today I had a strange interaction with a cashier at a farmers' market. The Killers song with the line "you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend" was playing and the cashier said, "that would

Comments

[wantedonvoyage]

One of the things I learned doing LGBT advocacy in the church was this great reminder from the Rev. Debra Peevy, a pastor in the Disciples of Christ church who was one of the leaders against Prop 8 in California:

When we challenge people's thinking about these issues, part of what they're coming back to us with, whether or not they say it, is "I learned what I know (or believe) about people like you from people that I loved and trusted."

In other words, when you're telling someone that an assumption they've carried around for a long time is untrue (or you just challenge it by being yourself), you're--like it or not--calling into question everything else they've learned from that same source, be it parents, teachers, religious leader, etc. That can be traumatic, and--while I understand the concept of privilege--if we want people to learn from us, I feel like we have to respect that. I watched a poor woman completely unravel because she could see our side of the issue, but she had been told the opposite her whole life and it freaked her out. I think there needs to be room for compassion around that.

[belenen]

that is a wise pastor! very true, when 'rightful authority' is believed in, then all beliefs from that authority become a house of cards.