on 'enabling' abuse:
icon: "garrulous(a photo of my lips with the skin greyed out and the lips overlaid with a green and blue fractal pattern)"
Most people don't REALLY have a choice about enabling because you have to 1) realize it is happening and 2) have enough resources to change it and 3) realize you CAN change it in order to actually have a choice. None of these things are easy in a world that pretends love = self-sacrifice! It's not just your own preconception that has to change, you have to manage to throw off the expectations of the entire world. It's a lot.
People are forced into enabling. It's something to avoid when you can, but in my mind it is not at all something to feel guilty about.