an 'about me' that is exceedingly dense and comprehensive.
icon: "vivacious (my face with bold cat-eye makeup, with my head tilted down and to the side, looking at the camera with a wide close-lipped smile, hugging myself)"
There is a steep learning curve for most people to be close with me because I am so different from the default in identity, values, and language.
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Honestly, reading your journal the past few months has made a pretty huge difference to me, and it's making me try to change my habits for the better. The first time I heard of social justice was maybe four-ish years ago, from a person I knew in high school. This person is trans (totally fine) and got way deep into SJ stuff on tumblr. She introduced me to it. And I freaking hated it. I could go on forever about what a cruel person she was, but basically she just craved being superior to others, and SJW gave her the tools she needed. She legitimately believed trans people were of greater value than cis people, among other things. It was the only experience I ever had with SJW stuff and it left an awful taste in my mouth.
(This really upsets me. I should have been better than that. I was young then, I was 19 when I was still talking to her, but looking back I feel really bad that I discounted ALL of SJ based on one shitty experience with a person. Sure she used a lot of SJW terms and whatever to put herself on a pedestal, but she talked about legit things like slurs and I completely rejected it. No cool, past me, not cool.)
Anyways, it took me a long time to start commenting on your journal mostly because I felt a little intimidated by the SJW stuff, but after reading it for a few months now I've really changed my mind about SJ. I'm working on eliminating slurs from my speech. I avoided the ones most people know about like ret***, gay (in inappropriate contexts), etc. But I've come to realize that words like stu*** and idi** and the like are also slurs. I'm also trying to stop using God and Jesus in vain. I'm absolutely not Christian, but I don't want to disrespect people who are. Bi***, sl*t, and the like I'm really on the fence about. They don't offend me personally if they're not meant in a venomous way. A lot of people seem to find great value in reclaiming them. But a lot of people hate hearing them, ever. To be on the safe side I'm trying to stay away from them, but I honestly don't know.
And then of course you recently described your relationship with Topaz and it kind of blew my mind, since I really had no idea other people had that kind of relationship and that it worked.
I'm super short on sleep and half of that probably didn't make any sense, but whatever. I hope I didn't get anything horribly wrong. You've made a difference to me and you're inspiring me to do better. :) Thank you.
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And I found this comment SO encouraging and it made me so happy!
About reclaiming slurs -- if someone takes it on as a positive label for themselves and they are a person who would have that slur aimed at them, then I am in complete support of it. I really never hear b**** used in a positive way though -- it's often defiant, but people use it like they're saying they're proud to be a mean, selfish person, and in my opinion that is not reclaiming, it's reinforcing. Sl*t I do hear used in a positive and reclaiming way, but there are some issues there with regards to race and gender and it gets complicated. The main thing that keeps me from using it is that if I don't stop and thoroughly explain, the person listening may assume the opposite of what I mean and then I have reinforced the thing I don't want to. So rather than use it and explain it I just don't use it.
Thank you thank you for this comment <3
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