unorganized rant -- wanting a wild, color-drenched life

Jun 07, 2004 23:58

I feel like crying, sleeping, or watching tv. That last is really weird, 'cause I never just *want to watch tv*...... anyway ( Read more... )

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Comments 8

anar_anar June 8 2004, 00:14:03 UTC
To live in this way doesn't have to be hard. Maybe painful, yes, but all for good reason.

I'm always here for you to talk to if you like.

I'd like to believe I'm the type of person you are describing, but I may just be an arrogant ass who "thinks" I'm all of those things and aren't really. Maybe.

But I doubt it... eehheh.

In any case...don't be sad... sadness.. sucks... and it's unproductive. You're more productive angry than sad...

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belenen June 9 2004, 08:14:42 UTC
I think you are those things... I just hadn't thought about it before... and well... please don't be offended, I'm not trying to coerce you... I wish you shared my beliefs about God, 'cause that's the central part of who I want to be -- passionate in loving and seeking God. The people I see who honestly love God and want a relationship with him tend to be society-bound into sameness. I want to be both wildly colorful AND in love with God, but if I had to sacrifice one... well, the colorfulness would just have to go. So... I'm not sure if I explained that well enough.

And I'm sad because... there isn't much human support for a girl who wants both God and societal freedom. I know God would be delighted if I could shrug off all societal constraints and be free from worry about what others think... but I just can't quite believe that it can be done, since I haven't seen it...

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anar_anar June 10 2004, 04:29:13 UTC
Granted what you're describing may be difficult to find, but I'm more than sure you would be able to handle it ;)

And I'm definitely not offended. One day I should write you a horribly long adn boring email explaining all my beliefs and whatnot regarding God. ahaha, most people are surprised, but I'm not terribly sure what you'd think.

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belenen June 10 2004, 13:27:08 UTC
You should write me that email; I wouldn't be bored. I'm fascinated with other viewpoints -- different views of God helps me to reevaluate my own and weed out the religion that clings to my relationship. ;-)

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evileve June 8 2004, 07:53:03 UTC
very painful. and very impermanent.
moderately is the only way.
wild moments(not an entire life) are the key.

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Wild Life trenchmeister June 9 2004, 06:22:23 UTC
Don't I know that feeling! If I get stuck inside for more than a day at home I get cabin fever. I can sit and watch movies or work on the puter for so long before I'm about to explode and need to just get out in the open air. I want to explore, learn and experience everything there is in life!

I'd have to say that my life has been anything but shallow. Needless to say "deep living" has had it's price. I've been divorced, remarried and father of four. I work full time in system administration and part-time as a clown in my own company.

My wife and I also share many passions. This is part of what started our clown company. We've only started to reach out to new avenues of our lives together and our relationship with the outside world. I do believe that everything has started paying off. Life is definitely colorful and bright! Spicy... definitely!

I hope you find your spice and color. Keep looking and you'll probably find it staring you right in the face. I'll be happy to help in any way I can.

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jedibubbles June 11 2004, 12:45:12 UTC
Being deep (at least to me) means being aware of and understanding and admitting to the fact that our true selves are filled with contradictions--contradictions that can easily tear us apart. I simultaneously love myself but hate myself, long for freedom but cling to comfort, want to be accepted but don't care what people think...

We are all so complicated that it's hard to be sure if we even truly know ourselves, much less try to understand each other. And it all bloody well hurts. But--another contradiction--it's exhilirating at the same time.

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