the art of hugs

[belenen]

icon: "kissy (a photo of me outside in soft light, blowing a kiss)"

Hugs are the usual greeting in my group of friends, and are not uncommon among my family and the families of other southern people I know. (some people take this so far as to hug others without asking first, which is horrible) It's also a really common method of comforting via the

Comments

[soundofsunlight]

I also hate the A-frame and the limp noodle. Those are so awful!

Emotional presence is very important for me too. There are situations where it's less important, like if they're upset about something and can't take their mind off it, that's understandable. But if someone's just not bothering to be present and there's no reason for it, then I just end up feeling annoyed.

I have a couple friends who are shorter than me, and a couple others who are taller than me, and I find the hight differences awkward in both directions. I haven't been able to find a solution for how to stand which isn't equally awkward, unless there's something to stand on. Our hugs tend to be on the longer side (like 10-20 seconds), which makes standing with bent knees uncomfortable. A wider stance might work, now that you mention it. I also like sitting hugs with those friends, because then the hight difference is not that noticeable.

[mac_arthur_park]

I love this. Very thoughtful, and good food for thought.

I've noticed the whole patting thing with the spousebeast's guy friends. It's a very dude bro thing, in my book. The funny thing is that the few who hug me do the same thing to me, as if to say "I totally don't see you as anyone I could ever be attracted to. Ever."

Ah, cis straight white guys. They are a fascinating subject of study. At a distance. ;)

[kiwi]

These sorts of posts always interest me, as someone who has naturally dodged human touch for most of her life (and yet who has a career where I can't NOT touch people, go fig). But I think that it's because of this that if I give a hug, I'm giving a damn hug with all my heart and soul. I hear you on the limp noodle thing. I dated a guy who did that. I WAS DATING HIM AND HE'D GIVE ME THOSE HUGS. I should have known...(also hate the back cracker. I feel like I need to pay a deductible or something for those, and make a follow-up appointment.)

(Also agree on the low back thing. In a hug? VERY sexual. If someone did that to me and I wasn't expecting it and didn't feel that way, I would not respond favorably.)

[kmiotutsie]

the straight-girl A-frame, hahahahaaah!!! :)